


It's 'Doctor'

by cakedinice



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Multi, Polyamory, Violence, eventually, m/m/f, theres going to be smut much later on probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 13:51:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 69,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4524426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cakedinice/pseuds/cakedinice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stella Martin has worked with HYDRA for eight years in order to get her doctorate in robotics. She's ecstatic to work with HYDRA's drones and bots, less so to work with the Winter Soldier. Stella slowly begins to realize however, that she wasn't hired because of her outstanding work. Is HYDRA really trying to help her, or anyone for that matter? Probably not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Storm of a Man

My first impression of him was that he looked mad.

Like a rabid animal, like a thunderstorm, and just from my first glimpse of him through bullet-proof glass, I knew that he wasn't someone I wanted to piss off.

I didn't formally meet him for several months, the first time I saw him was just after I had graduated.

I had worked with HYDRA since I was about seventeen. I needed a way to get into Stanford, into the robotics school that I desperately wanted to study in. My cousin Oliver had worked with HYDRA for years, they had put him through school, and, in return, he worked for them. HYDRA was a deeper division inside of SHIELD, one that made tougher decisions in order to protect people before they were put in danger. It made sense to me; some people were beyond justice and they needed to be taken out before they could plant bombs on the New York City subway system or decide to shoot up a high school. Oliver was somewhat high ranking, so he got me an unbelievable deal like his. I got free schooling and a job immediately out of college; what more could I have wanted? So, for the next eight and a half years while I got my PhD, I worked for HYDRA. Some part of me felt like a child who had access to an exclusive play house that most kids didn't even know about.

At long last I graduated with a PhD, and my HYDRA coworkers, friends really, had thrown me a graduation party in the deepest part of SHIELD HQ that SHIELD didn't even know about. . Director Pierce himself had shown up to congratulate me and it was the proudest I had ever been of myself.

Director Pierce had me walk with him and we talked about what I was going to do for HYDRA. He said that I'd probably be shadowing an older robotic engineer for a while until I got the hang of things and I told him, vehemently, that I would make HYDRA proud.

We heard a struggle somewhere in another room; a large piece of furniture toppling over with a crash. Mr. Pierce didn't seem worried at all and he walked toward the noise and motioned for me to follow him. Cautiously, I did.

We came to a room with a large glass window with a view of a plain white room, an interrogation chamber.

And there he was inside. The Winter Solider.

He had thrown an agent three times my size against a wall and was grappling with four more agents, fighting like his life depended on it.

"Ah," Pierce said as if we were watching a documentary on something that he almost found interesting. "Do you know who that is?"

He pointed to the man that the agents were trying to restrain. At the time I had no idea, so I shook my head.

"That's one of your future business partners," Pierce said coolly. "It's too bad you didn't see him on a better day, he's prone to temper tantrums sometimes."

The 'temper tantrum' that the Winter Soldier was having was making some of HYDRA's best agents look like mall cops, but I said nothing and tried to keep my face neutral.

The Winter Solider was pushed out of my mind the next day; I suddenly had a mass of new responsibilities what demanded all of my attention. Namely, trying to appease my mentor, a tall, grim man from London named Dr. Chambers. He was sharply critical of all of the work that came out of our lab, but I was good at my job. I was in my element; I didn't care that my new coworkers were unsmiling and cold, or that I was the only woman in the department. I was far too pleased to notice much of anything outside of Dr. Chambers and my lab.

Dr. Chambers wasn't actually cruel, I learned after a few weeks, his face was partially paralyzed from a stroke he had had when he was forty which the impression that he was always irritated. He never raised his voice for no reason and so long as I did what I was supposed to, he didn't say much. He wasn't  _nice_ , per say, but he knew what he was talking about and I could work with him.

I talked about the Winter Solider more often than he liked and he told me to just call him 'Winter' like everyone else so that I wouldn't go blue in the face after saying his name so many times.

I worked on drones mostly in my first few months. I showed my college work to Dr. Chambers; a robot I called 'Jaeger' that stood shorter than me and could be hit by a truck several times over and still run at 30 mph. I had worked for two years on its hands; it had sensors that allowed it to 'feel' what it was touching. It could determine temperatures with its fingertips and tell the difference between over three hundred different surfaces. I had also programmed it to say my name in a way that didn't creep me out.

"Stella Martin," Jaeger hummed as Dr. Chambers looked it over. "Stella Martin."

"Can it say anything besides your name, Dr. Martin?" Dr. Chambers deadpanned in a way that was almost amused.

"I can say all kinds of things, sir," Jaeger replied, turning his camera lens eyes on Dr. Chambers. "I can say no and I can say maybe and I can say Jingshanosaurus eleven times fast, sir."

"It's 'doctor'," Dr. Chambers told Jaeger with what he could manage of a small smile.

Jaeger's camera lenses focused to mimic blinking. "Doctor," It repeated.

About a month after I introduced Dr. Chambers to Jaeger, he informed me that HYDRA was going to be waking up Winter soon and that we needed to make sure his arm was fully functioning.

I asked what he had meant by 'waking' him up, but Dr. Chambers simply clipped that I'd find out soon enough.

We had to go through three different walls of security; I was given a very temporary visitor pass that had to be authorized by Director Pierce himself. We were flanked by armed guards as we made our way into the depths of the facility and I repressed my nerves. I wasn't going to be surprised by the Soldier now; I had seen what he could do. HYDRA wouldn't allow me to be endangered by him.

Dr. Chambers and I waited inside of a plain white room to be let into where they held Winter.

"Dr. Martin, I must forewarn you," Dr. Chambers said in a monotone, breaking the stuffy silence.

"About Winter? I've seen what he's capable of –" I began.

"No," he barked sharply, surprising me. "No… you have not."

I watched Dr. Chambers, unsure, as he took a steadying breath. He wasn't looking at me, he was staring straight ahead at the door in front of us.

"The Winter Soldier is… a monster," he said quietly. "He can't reason, he isn't capable of it. He's a weapon, a tool that is necessary for HYDRA's operations… but a monster none the less."

A buzzer went off and the door in front of us started to open.

"Don't get close enough to him that he could grab you," Dr. Chambers warned.

I nodded. Basic safety stuff… if this guy was really that bad, surely they wouldn't let us near him…

The doors slid open and I was surprised to see a large metal container in the middle of the room. Our two guards joined three that were already in the room and the four scientists glanced at us and nodded shortly to Dr. Chambers.

I furrowed my eyebrows and stepped closer to the container. A circular window was set into the middle of it, the frost on the glass making it impossible to see inside.

"He's in… Cryogenic sleep?" I mused.

"Yes, Doctor. It's the only way to keep him complacent," came a voice from behind me.

There was Director Pierce, looking unruffled as always.

"He's ready to be awoken, sir," one of the scientists, one that I recognized from the mess hall who always sat by himself, informed Pierce.

"Good," Pierce nodded. "Well, he's been in Cryo for 38 days, let's see how he is."

Pierce stood next to Dr. Chambers as the other scientists busied themselves with the cryochamber.

Fog hissed as the doors were opened to reveal Winter, looking true to his name. He was unconscious, lifeless. Frost dusted his unkept hair and his skin was like wax. I noticed dark circled under his eyes

"Freezing him and thawing him out over and over has done some damage to the electrical wiring of his arm," Pierce explained. "Hopefully you two can fix it, or even upgrade it."

I knew that wasn't a suggestion and as nervous as I was about being thrown into a wall, I wanted a good look at that bionic arm.

Winter suddenly came to life, his eyes flew open and he gasped in air, his eyes wildly flitting around. He pulled on his restraints and shouted and the guard's guns went up to point at him.

"Winter?" Pierce asked, stepping toward him.

Winter's eyes snapped to Pierce.

"Do you know where you are?"

Winter's eyes darted around as he tried to figure it out.

"Sir, should we prep him?" one of the scientists asked.

Winter's eyes slid over to him, anger flashing across his face. He seemed to know what that meant.

"No, give him a few minutes," Pierce said. "If he doesn't calm down soon, we will."

Pierce walked out of the room and Winter glared at all of us in turn, but he was starting to calm down. He had stopped pulling against the restraints, anyway.

This was going to be much different than working on any robot.


	2. Level Nine Secret

It took about an hour for Winter to calm down enough that anyone dared approach him. Pierce had wandered out and I felt a lot less nervous without him hovering over me.

I warily stepped toward Winter before Dr. Chambers did. The silence in the air was almost unbearable as I walked up to him, everyone seemed to be ready for him to lash out, but I was too curious to stay away.

"My name is Stella Martin," I told Winter, looking steadily into his wide blue eyes, remembering cautiously approaching a horse at a state fair a long time ago. "I'm a robotics engineer. I'm here to help fix up your arm."

Winter's eyes darted all over me, deciding what he thought of me. I stepped a bit closer.

"Is it okay if I take a look at your arm?" I asked.

I heard a short laugh through the silence. "You don't need permission," the pointy faced scientist who always sat by himself said. "He doesn't even know what that means."

 _No wonder you sit by yourself every day_. I thought, irritated.

I ignored him and kept looking at Winter.

After a few seconds, he nodded stiffly and I gave him a small smile.

I walked up to his arm, craning my neck to inspect it. It was bright silver plated metal with ridges and crevices etched into it. I'd love to see it in action.

"Do you have feeling in this arm?" I asked him.

"No, he doesn't," snapped the pointy faced guy. "Didn't anyone debrief you at all, lady?"

I straightened up and rolled my head over to face him.

"I didn't go through eight  _goddamn_  years of classes to be called  _lady,_ " I scolded. "And since when do  _you_  have a bionic arm that I'm asking  _you_  about?"

The scientist looked taken aback and was about to open his mouth to retort when I heard laughter from the door.

Pierce had entered, laughing at the man I was talking to.

"She sure knows her place around here, doesn't she?" he laughed.

"I – I didn't mean –" he man stammered.

"Don't worry about it, Doc," he said, still laughing, but I caught the force in his voice. "Just do your job and let her do hers."

The man stammered out an "Of course, sir" and tried to look busy with his paperwork.

I turned back to Winter and let myself smirk in satisfaction. He didn't seem to be paying attention, he was staring at Dr. Chambers but he quickly moved his eyes to the floor.

There was a smear of dirt on the bicep of the metal arm so I rubbed it off with my thumb. The metal was smooth and cold and Winter jerked his head slightly to look at me.

I glanced up at him and paused. Now that I was closer to him and I was actually seeing him I realized that he looked  _sick_.

Pallid skin, bruises under eyes that looked like they didn't blink often enough. He looked like a drug addict or a caged animal.

I felt eyes on my back so I looked down to focus on his arm.

I had him move his fingers and push up and down against my hands on his arm; basic tests to see how well his arm worked. His trigger finger seemed a little bit slow, something that I would definitely have to fix.

"What do you see Dr. Martin?" Dr. Chambers asked, suddenly beside me.

"His index finger is lagging. From the outside that's all that seems wrong with it," I told him.

He nodded. "To open up the arm you need to press that little button there," he pointed tensely to an indent on the arm's deltoid "and turn it clockwise."

I did and the metal panels slid back to reveal the inner workings of the arm.

"I will leave you to tinkering, Doctor, but show me before you do anything drastic," Dr. Chambers instructed.

I noticed Winter was staring at Dr. Chambers out of the corner of his eye again. His metal hand was clenched into a fist.

"Of course," I nodded.

Dr. Chambers left with Director Pierce, but the guards and two other scientists remained.

I inspected the insides of the arm, mesmerized. Wires replaced nerves, some metal that I didn't recognize replaced muscle. He  _did_  have sensors in his arm, but instead of giving him the ability to feel pain or touch they allowed him to feel weight.

There was damage to some of the innermost wires; the coating had eroded away. A simple thing to replace.

I walked away from him for to shed my lab coat and put it on a peg. I grabbed a chair that was nearby and pulled it up beside Winter so that I could get a more stable look at his arm.

"Aren't you going to get him some food?" I asked casually, not looking up from the arm.

No one answered me. I noticed that I was being ignored.

I cleared my throat loudly.

One of them glanced at me, irritated.

"That's not a major priority right now," he told me. "We have to make sure that his body is in working order before we do anything else."

"Bodies need food to function properly," I said, frowning.

"Just worry about his arm," The other one said, not looking up from his paperwork.

I turned back to Winter. He was scowling at me.

I bit my bottom lip in exasperation, but I looked back down at his arm.

I replaced all of the eroded wires and bits that looked weak, which took about an hour and a half. Winter didn't move the entire time and his body stayed rigid like he was ready to start throwing punches any second, making it impossible to relax.

Dr. Chambers came back in and I told him what I was going to do to rewire the circuit to his index finger and he nodded, throwing distrusting glances at Winter.

Director Pierce came back after I had finished with Winter's arm and said that they were going to give him some targets to shoot at now that his arm was up to par.

I noticed that no one gave him anything to eat.

The next day he was sent off on a mission that I didn't need to know about. I waited with Winter and several others as we did last minute checks of him.

His arm was in perfect condition now, so there wasn't much for me to do. I waited on the other side of the room to stay out of the way.

Winter was watching me. He looked, if anything, sicker than he had last night.

He didn't seem at all worried now, he was fully awake and he understood what was going on, but he still looked hungry…

I huffed to myself and marched out of the room. I left the high security area and went back to the breakroom that I had squirreled away food in. A turkey sandwich, a peach, and a water bottle. Not enough, but better than nothing.

I brought it back to the room and skirted around the other scientists.

"Here," I told him, giving him the food. "I know it isn't a lot, but hell, it's better than nothing."

Winter glanced at the sandwich bag and back up to me. I frowned.

"You're wasting your time, Doctor," Pierce said from the doorway, smirking. "He won't eat anything anyone gives him. He can find his own food, don't worry about it."

I lowered the food and backed away to avoid being bumped into. Winter was still staring at me. I had never seen anyone with such intense, wide eyes.

I was quiet the rest of the day, working besides a silent Dr. Chambers until it was time to leave.

I returned to my apartment and curled up on the couch. Papers, books, and sketches littered every surface with half empty coffee cups stacked on top of them. Jaeger rolled up to me as I lay on the couch, his camera eyes focusing on me.

"Stella Martin," Jaeger chirped. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," I mumbled.

"Me too," it replied. "You don't look fine."

I regretted programming him to be curious. "Hush Jaeger, my head hurts."

Jaeger was programmed to stop talking if I said 'hush' so he wheeled away into my bedroom. Since I was no longer in a lab with Jaeger all of the time, I had programmed him to do minimal care-taking activities. He reminded me to take my medicines at six o'clock each day and to eat and drink if I was too busy with my work to remember, and he dusted the book shelves and watered the plants.

Jaeger's structure was very loosely based off of a Disney movie I had seen when I was nineteen; its camera eyes were most of the face that it had, shaped a little bit droopy to make it look endearing. Its feet were like that of a tank, made of a belt that could take it over rough terrain and even stairs. It had complex hands that looked like ball jointed human hands that it kept tucked close to its body most of the time. Jaeger had blocky shoulders and a screen on its stomach so that it could show me things that it learned and remembered. Jaeger was shorter than me, about four and a half feet tall, but it could reach up to six feet if it felt like it. Jaeger made a better roommate than my college roommate had and ate a lot less ramen.

Jaeger came back into the living room after a while and sat down in front of me where I lay on the couch.

I looked up at its eyes. "What, Jaeger?" I mumbled.

The screen on his middle flickered to life, showing a real time image of me. I looked at myself on the screen and smiled. I had short, choppy blonde hair and dark brown eyes and eyebrows. I had freckles all over my round face and a nose that pointed upward. People liked to tell me how much of a plump little house fairy I looked like; I was only about 5', and I was chunky for lack of a better word. There were worse things to be compared to than a house fairy.

"Stella Martin looks ill or sad," Appeared words on Jaeger's screen. "Stella Martin should get some sleep."

I sighed. "Yeah you're right, Jaeger."

I got up and stretched and patted Jaeger's head. I retreated into my room and made myself cozy in a nest of blankets and promptly fell asleep.

The next two weeks I spent working with no big difficulties. Dr. Chambers was acting strangely; like he was ill or worried, but he just clipped that he was fine when I asked him about it.

A rather large drone built to defuse bombs was brought into the lab; it was called I-557 and it had extensive damage done to it. Dr. Chambers wanted to just scrap it, but I insisted otherwise. I ended up fixing it in such a way that I received praise from our higher ups, which made me glow from happiness.

I was starting to worry that something had gone wrong with Winter's mission, but I couldn't confide in any of my coworkers about something so personal. Winter's mere existence was a level nine secret, and most of my coworkers seemed like they didn't care for Winter anyway.

"Winter is due back from his mission in the next few days," Dr. Chambers informed me one day. "I have informed you once, but I feel as if I must again;  _do not let your guard down around him_."

I didn't look up from the bot, Norby, which I was fixing. "Don't worry Doctor, I won't."

"You say that, but your guard was lower than the average IQ score of a common turkey last you were with him," Dr. Chambers snapped at me.

I looked up from the drone I was working on and it took that as a chance to get away. Norby screeched and whirled away from me, running full speed into a wall where it stayed, shrieking.

I huffed and marched over to haul the bot away from the wall.

"It's not like a put a knife in his hand and blindfolded myself," I said in irritation. "Norby, HOLD STILL!"

Norby was still screaming and waving its crude arms around and I had to hold it down and wretch out its control panel in order to turn it off.

Dr. Chambers was still squinting at me. "You had his arm in your lap as if he were an injured dog. Doctor, I've seen him break the limbs of people twice your size on  _accident_ , he could easily kill you."

"That's what the guards are there for; to detain him if he gets violent," I retorted, screwing one of Norby's broken antenna back onto it.

Dr. Chambers fell silent and I focused on my work.

"His violence is something that cannot be detained," Dr. Chambers rasped after several minutes.

He strode out before I could reply and I watched him go in confusion.

That evening I was pouring over layouts of the robots that were going to be brought into the lab the next day, curled up in my papasan chair while Jaeger carefully watered the plants that were crowded around the sliding glass doors that lead out onto a small balcony.

A knock came at the door and I turned my music off.

"Jaeger, will you get the door?" I asked and Jaeger turned its head to me.

"Stella Martin," it replied, setting the watering can down on the ground and wheeling to the door.

I was surprised to see Dr. Chambers standing in the doorway, tight lipped and stiff.

"Oh, Dr. Chambers, I- uh - come in," I said in surprise. How did he know that I lived here?

Dr. Chambers strode past Jaeger and glanced around my apartment. I felt color rush to my face as his steely eyes swept over the discarded cups and haphazardly stacked books.

"I'm sorry the place is such a mess, I don't usually have anyone over," I said, scrambling out of the chair and striding to the table. I hastily cleared off a chair for him and half of the table, stuffing drawings and notes where I'd hopefully be able to find them later.

Dr. Chambers didn't respond and he sat down at the table and stared down at his hands.

There was a moment of silence where I didn't know what to say.

"Can… I get you something to drink?"

"Brandy or Scotch if you have it," he said thickly.

I blinked. Was he drunk?

I poured him some Jim Bean and set it in front of him and settled into the chair opposite him.

He downed it all in one swig and sighed heavily.

Dr. Chambers looked up at me and I could see that he was definitely drunk and his eyes were watery and bloodshot like he had been crying.

"Do you know… why you got a job with…  _us_?" he said slowly.

"Well… I mean… SHIELD put me through school in order to work for them –" I started.

Dr. Chambers barked out a humorless laugh. "Yes, yes, and they were going to hide you away to be a minimally-paid intern, but they didn't. They stuck you with me."

I blinked. I had never been told anything like that…

Dr. Chambers poured another glass of brandy for himself and took a sip.

"You were put with me because of a…  _job opening,_ " Dr. Chambers said, raising his eyebrows at me.

He didn't say anything else and he stared into the glass.

"…What happened to your partner before me?" I asked after a minute, not so sure that I wanted to know the answer.

"Killed," Dr. Chambers said, lightly. "By that metal-armed abomination."

I blinked several times, dread clutching my stomach. "W-what?"

"Dr. Keaton was a large man," Dr. Chambers went on. "A bit shorter than me, but he was burley. He could lift one hundred pounds like it was nothing."

Dr. Chambers looked up at me and gave a short, bitter laugh. "He looked like a damn –  _ragdoll_  – in that bastard's hands."

Dr. Chambers kept laughing, his whole body shaking, and his false laughs gave into crying.

"My best friend… and that savage twisted his head around in a complete circle. Because he felt  _jittery,_ " he sobbed.

I swallowed. "I'm… I'm so sorry."

Dr. Chambers downed the rest of the brandy and coughed.

"He's a monster, Dr. Martin. You'll do well to remember that," Dr. Chambers slurred gravely.

Dr. Chambers got to his feet and gripped the back of his chair for support.

"We'll not speak of this again," Dr. Chambers told me and stumbled toward the door.

"Doctor where are you going?" I stammered after a minute.

"Every bar in DC," he shouted and slammed the door behind him.


	3. Hellfire

Dr. Chambers showed up to work an hour late the next day looking like he had been hit by a truck.

"How are you holding up this morning?" I asked him, looking up from the broken drone I was working on.

"Fine," he grumbled.

The drone I was working on chirped and tried to lurch away from me, but I wrapped my legs around it to hold it still while it babbled to itself.

"What's the matter with it?" Dr. Chambers asked dully, although he could probably tell just by looking at it.

"Its navigation system and control system are both damaged, so it's doing whatever it wants to," I replied.

Dr. Chambers rubbed his temples with his fingertips. "Come and get me when it's done making such a racket."

Dr. Chambers left and I saw him stop dead in the hallway through the glass panels that lined the front of our lab. Winter was back, being escorted through the halls and Dr. Chambers stood still to let them pass before going on his way.

I had stopped paying attention to the bot for a bit too long because it jerked its arm up and smacked me right in the mouth, busting my lip open.

" _SHIT_!" I swore angrily, wrestling the android's arm down. "For FUCK'S sake HOLD STILL!"

"Doctor we are in need of your assistance immediately," an agent told me from the door.

"I'll be there in just a second," I managed over the bot's screaming.

I ended up having to shut it down, resetting all of the systems I had been trying to reboot, but I would just have to try again later.

Coppery blood leaked into my mouth and I hastily wiped my lips on a paper towel as I strode down the hallway to the same room that they had held Winter in before. I showed my clearance badge to the guards and they let me through the iron-barred door to where Winter was.

Winter was in fairly bad shape; several plates were gone from his bionic arm and his left eye was swollen shut and he was covered in cuts and big purple bruises.

"Frag went off when he was close to it," one of the other scientists, who I had learned was named Christopher, informed me. "He's riddled with shrapnel."

I tsked sympathetically and frowned.

His arm was no exception to the rest of him; bits of metal and glass were dug into the entire back facing portion of it. There was one large piece as big as my hand in his forearm.

"That  _must_  hurt?" I asked Winter. He regarded me out of the corner of his eye before looking straight ahead again.

It took a long time to dig out all of the shrapnel from deep inside of his arm and half an hour just to ease the biggest piece out without ruining the internal wiring. Christopher had, thankfully, given him painkillers, so he didn't feel anything we were doing to him. I talked to Winter sometimes, but he didn't reply, he would just study me for a few seconds before looking away.

"He's going to have to be kept out of cryo for a few days while his body recovers," I heard Christopher telling Pierce and I paused in my work.

What were they going to do with him for those days? Surely they weren't going to keep him locked up in here?

I worked longer than the medics did, they patched him up within an hour or so and left with most of the guards. One remained on the other side of the barred door and he told me to tell him if anything went wrong.

I felt a pang of unease; surely they knew that if he  _wanted_  to kill me he would before any of them could get in to stop him. I thought about what Dr. Chambers had said about his friend Keaton and the pang turned into a churning cauldron of alarm.

I kept working though, persuading all of the shrapnel from his arm. He must have thrown this arm up to protect himself from the blast, because it looked like it had the worst of the damage.

I got up to go get a set of pliers from the other side of the room and I threw my lab coat on the nearest table and scooped up a cold water bottle that Christopher had gotten for me and I took several big gulps of it.

I exhaled, thankful for the coolness on my scratchy throat, and I searched through the toolbox to find the right pliers that I needed.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that Winter was watching me and I glanced at the water bottle next to me. He had to be thirsty, we had been sitting here for three hours…

I grabbed it and the pliers and walked back to Winter's side. I held out the water bottle to him and he eyed me suspiciously.

"Here," I implored him. "I can tell you're thirsty."

He didn't move, he just watched me, doubt etched into his face.

I glanced behind me outside of the bars. The guard wasn't paying attention.

"No one's watching," I told him, lowering my voice. "Or do you think I have cooties?"

He scowled at me and I grinned. Slowly, he reached out for the water bottle and I handed it to him.

I sat back down to peel the broken plating off the outside of the arm and he moved to unscrew the bottle. He downed it in three gulps and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

I smiled somewhat at him and he nodded slightly at me.

It took half an hour to replace all of the plating and I stood up to stretch and groaned a little, my sore back informing me that I had been craned over for far too long.

"I think I'm done fixing your arm," I told him, stretching on my toes. "I'll leave you alone for now."

I went to go get my lab coat and head for the door when Winter said something, surprising me.

"Devushka," He said in a voice that was rough from lack of use.

I turned to look at him, eyebrows raised. "…Yes?"

He beckoned me back over to him with a jerk of his head and I felt worry gnaw my stomach.

I went back over to him though, curious what he wanted. "Yes?"

"…That doctor isn't safe," he said gruffly, his eyes flickering from me to the door. "Be careful."

I blinked.

"Who are you talking about?" I asked.

"The one you were with earlier," he clipped.

My heart sped up. "What do you mean?"

He shook his head quickly. I pursed my lips in irritation.

"He said the same thing about you," I said in a low voice.

Winter scrutinized my face, seeming like something else was just on the tip of his tongue.

I watched him back for a minute, trying to read his face for what he meant, but I couldn't.

I bit at the skin of my thumb and nodded. "…Alright. I'll be careful."

He nodded solemnly and I turned to leave. "Do you need anything else before I go?" I asked in my normal volume.

Winter shook his head.

"…Okay. Goodnight, then."

I went about a month without seeing Winter again and I was content to work with the bots, as loud and raucous as they were, at least they didn't give me secretive advice that made me worry.

I found myself heeding Winter's words and I was wary of Dr. Chambers. I didn't know what Winter had meant; hell, he could have been thinking about someone else or maybe he was just paranoid, but I couldn't get his expression out of my head.

I programmed Jaeger to have a security mode and I outfitted him with a high powered taser. This job was great, sure, but it was taking a toll on my nerves.

I chewed on my fingers a lot but didn't realize it until I looked down to see little smears of blood on whatever I was working on.

The next time I saw Winter he had just been woken up from Cryo to go on another mission. I did a ten minute check of his arm and then he was gone.

This mission only lasted for a few days and I was called in for damage repair. He was in a different room this time; one that wasn't as gloomy as the cage he was usually kept in.

Winter looked better off this time; minor scrapes and bruises, but he was coated in ash and he had broken the pinky finger on his bionic arm.

It was crushed and unsalvageable, and Dr. Chambers insisted that he would be the one to recreate the pinky, so I was left scrubbing his ash-caked metal arm.

They had him take a shower in the tiny bathroom that was attached to the room before they left, but that hardly seemed to cut through the grime on the metal.

"How'd this even happen?" I asked once everyone else had gone and he had dried off and gotten dressed. I figured the only way he was going to say anything to me at all was if no one else was around.

He watched me scrub for a minute. I didn't figure he'd answer, but I didn't mind much. I talked to the robots when I worked on them too and they were generally very good listeners like Winter.

I got up to go get a different wire brush from the table by the cracked-open door when something rolled into the room. It took me a millisecond to register what it was before I kicked it out of the room and into the hallway.

I stumbled away from the door and I didn't have time to shout 'grenade' before Winter yanked me to the supply closet and threw me in.

The bomb went off before he could get in and he was thrown into me and the blast knocked the entire reinforced closet over.

Something heavy landed on top of us, trapping us in the little box.

I closed my eyes, expecting to be crushed, but after a minute I realized that the only thing that had landed on me was Winter.

I opened my eyes but I couldn't see anything and I smelled smoke.

Panic gripped me and I moved my leg and I kneed Winter and I heard him groan.

"Watch your knees, devushka," he grunted.

"Oh god, we're trapped," I hissed. "We need to get out of here, the fire –"

"I know," Winter cut me off.

Smoke was steadily seeping into the box and I pulled my shirt over my mouth.

Winter placed his fist on the side of the box with a dull thunk.

"When I open this, you have to get out and run," Winter told me.

"Run  _where_?" I hissed, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Just run," he replied.

His metal fist went straight through the side of the box and smoke immediately poured in. He wretched a hole in the metal and squeezed through and I scrambled out after him.

I couldn't see anything; there was too much smoke and I felt like I had walked into a furnace. I was blind, I couldn't breathe, I was going to die in the flames! Something grabbed my hand and I recognized that it was Winter and he pulled me through the smoke. I ran after him blindly, praying that he knew where he was going, but even if he did we were underground…

I stepped on something weak and it crumbled underneath me and my leg went into a hole full of ashes and fire. I screamed, trying to pull myself out, but there was metal dug into my leg, trapping me.

I looked wildly around me but there was nothing, just fire and smoke.

"WINTER!" I screamed, not knowing what else to do. " _WINTER PLEASE –_!"

That's all I got out before I started to cough violently, the smoke and ash invading my lungs. The pain burning my leg was unbearable and lurching made it worse. I couldn't stop coughing long enough to scream again.

Suddenly something grabbed me around the middle and I was miraculously lifted up out of the fire. I could just see Winter's face as he glanced at me to see if I was alright before he started running with me, carrying me, and I clung onto him with everything that I had. I felt like he was hauling me up a ladder of some kind, but my head was so foggy from the smoke and the pain that I didn't care. All I knew was that I wasn't going to die.

Clean air hit me like an icy river and I gasped and coughed.

Winter had climbed out of some emergency exit and we were on the edge of the man-made ponds that surrounded the buildings. Winter put me down on the concrete next to the water's perimeter and I collapsed over, trying to suck in as much fresh air as I could.

Winter touched my leg and I gasped in pain. Winter said something to me, but I couldn't hear him. I heard other voices too, but I didn't care about much of anything at this point. I wasn't dead and I just wanted to sleep.

Something was put over my face which gave me a rush of dizzyingly clean air and I gulped it in gratefully. I was lifted up and placed on something softer than the concrete. I slit one eye open and I saw Winter's face, hard and unreadable, before I was hauled off.

I recovered in the SHIELD hospital for several days; thankfully my lungs weren't damaged but my right calf suffered some bad burns, severe enough that I needed a skin graft. Luckily my actual foot had been spared, so i would still be able to walk. A metal bar had punctured my calf as well, but it had just barely pierced my leg and some stitches had fixed it. I was told that the bomb had been an attempt on Winter's life and that Winter survived it and that was about it.

I was let out after about a week and I was told to stay off of my leg as much as possible. I was given a leave of absence for another week at home. I did a lot of watching crime shows on tv and nodding off into dizzy sleep without realizing it. I was glad that I had given Jaeger care taking abilities, because I had medicine-light bones and I couldn't remember to feed myself. I was going to have to keep a bandage on the skin graft for several months to keep it in place. Just one more thing to worry about.

I faintly thought about Winter a lot through my haze. He hadn't been obligated to help me; it was likely that he had  _very_  few rescue missions, if any at all, so it wasn't instinct. Why had he…?

After two and a half weeks I was back at SHIELD. Fifteen agents had been killed in the explosion, no one that I was close to, but it was still jarring. Further investigation uncovered that the explosion was just aimed at SHIELD, not at Winter or even HYDRA. Winter was still moved somewhere else for safety; still inside of SHIELD HQ, but the building itself was massive, especially the underground portion. The new location was a mile away from the old one, closer to the surface.

Dr. Chambers was pleased to have me back; I could tell by the way he didn't snap at me about anything for a whole day.

I was left to work on my bots again. I wasn't told anything about what had happened with the bomb, I didn't really care anyway. I was as happy as I could be to just tinker with my bots. Jaeger told me that I looked sad a lot.

One of my friends that didn't work with me noticed that I was off-color too. She was a museum curator at the Smithsonian named Isabel Blanca. Isabel was taller than me with dark brown skin, thick round glasses, and beautiful curly black hair. She made a point to take me out to lunch a few times and to text me often to see how I was. I adored her for it, it felt good to have someone that cared about me. I sorely wished that I could confide in her about Winter, but I knew I could never do that. I couldn't even babble to Jaeger about him because it could repeat what I told it.

A week after I got back into my routine I was called to go check on Winter. This was apparently a very important mission, because Winter was actually fed a good amount and Pierce told me to open up his arm and check absolutely everything to be sure that Winter was in the peak of his abilities.

I tweaked a few very minor things while other doctors fussed over him for a few hours and then Winter was gone again. I had noticed that he looked at me more often and his gaze lingered for longer which made my stomach feel fluttery. I tried to squash these feelings, not wanting to be seen as a love-sick teenager. Besides, I was at  _work_.

I got off after Winter left and I went to go get coffee with Isabel at one of her favorite places downtown.

I was addicted to coffee and all of the sugar, cream, and ice that went into it so I was more than happy to gulp down a large, sugary, mocha frappe while Isabel told me about the exhibit she was working on. She had already made sure that I was comfortable and that my leg was propped up and she asked me several times if I was sure that the sun wasn't too hot. I inwardly enjoyed being worried over, it made me feel cared for.

Isabel was looking at me strangely, a knowing sort of smirk on her face.

"What?" I asked. "I'm listening."

"I don't think you are," Isabel laughed.

"Yes I was," I protested, smirking. "You were talking about the upcoming surrealist sculpture exhibit."

"Mmhm," Isabel giggled, sipping her latte. "So have you met anyone interesting at work lately?"

"No," I said, a little bit too quickly, and Isabel's grin widened.

"Miss Martin  _really_?" Isabel cackled. "I haven't seen you look so  _lovesick_  since that time Agent Romanoff accidentally elbowed you in the face."

I felt my ears burn and I took a large sip of my coffee and I sucked up a big chunk of ice and coughed on it.

Isabel just grinned at me while I regained my composure and I frowned in an attempt to stop giggling.

Isabel leaned slightly over the table and moved to put her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands.

"So is it a guy or a gal this time?" she asked, her wide, all-knowing smile still plastered across her face.

"…A guy," I mumbled, smirking and looking away from her.

"A  _guy_? What's his name?"

Uh.

"His name is Johnny," I said, blurting out the first name that came to me.

"What's he like?"

_Uh._

"Well. He's taller than me by like half a foot. He has long messy brown hair that's always in his face. He doesn't talk a lot."

All very true.

"Huh. You usually go for bad girls and dorky guys," Isabel said thoughtfully.

I shrugged. "Well if you saw him you'd underst –"

I stopped talking and Isabel and I both glanced to the street. Gunfire was heard distantly and a bullet ridden SUV came tearing down the street.

"Oh my goodness, what's –" Isabel started but I grabbed her arm and she fell silent.

There, right in front of our café in the middle of the street, sunlight glistening off of his bionic arm, was Winter. He had a mask covering his mouth and his nose and goggles on his eyes so it was impossible to see his face. He had a large bomb launcher in his hands and I realized that he was aiming it at the black SUV…

"ISABEL GET DOWN!" I screamed, yanking her into the coffee shop and throwing her to the ground.

It sounded like a train hitting a car at full speed outside, metal screaming and crunching, and people in the shop cried out in fear.

I scrambled to my feet and looked out of the window. The SUV had flipped over and skid a block away and it was throwing black smoke into the air. I craned my neck to see Winter stalk up to the car and wretch the entire car door off and throw it behind him. I expected to see him yank someone out and put a bullet through their head, but he knelt down to inspect the car and it seemed like his target was gone.

Winter glanced up and around at the people panicking and watching him curiously and he shot a few rounds into the air to make them scatter and he bolted into a nearby alley.

"What's happening?" Isabel hissed, hiding under the window.

"I – this guy blew up a car –" I stuttered, trying to sound appropriately shocked. "I – I don't think anyone died though. He shot into the air and now he's gone."

Isabel peered over the windowsill. The café patrons were gathering around the window to see what was going on. I heard sirens distantly.

"Let's go," I whispered and I pulled Isabel up.

We quickly left and I walked Isabel to her apartment that was close by.

"You should probably stay inside for tonight, Izz," I told her, watching a cop car blaze past.

"Do you wanna just stay here, or will you be okay getting home?" she worried.

"I'll be okay," I assured her.

She insisted that I text her to let her know that I got home safely and I promised that I would.

I walked quickly down the street in the dying sunlight and hailed a cab.

I shut the curtains tightly when I got home and I sighed. I hoped Winter was careful, whatever he was doing.


	4. Disposable Goat

Helicopters were buzzing all around HQ the next morning and I was stopped by security twice just trying to get in.

Walking through the lobby, I noticed a palpable unease in the air and I caught a few agents sniffling and comforting each other. I was walking through the lobby quickly, wanting to get down to the labs where I felt safer, when something crashed through the roof and struck the ground amongst a shower of glass.

Bewildered, I realized that it was Captain Rogers; he must have jumped from above and plummeted through the roof.

He winced, obviously hurt, and I gaped at him as he pushed himself up by his knuckles and bolted out of the facility.

Several agents pursued him, and I heard an alert go out to shut down the bridge. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with any of this, so I hurried down to my lab.

An announcement came over the intercom fifteen minutes later that Captain Rogers was a fugitive of SHIELD.

"What the hell's going on?" I asked Dr. Chambers when I marched into the lab. "Captain Rogers just rained down from the ceiling in the lobby like a damn meteor."

Dr. Chambers didn't look up from the bot he was rewiring. "All I know is what they just said over the intercom," he deadpanned.

I sighed and moved to go find someone that knew what was going on, but Dr. Chambers stopped me.

"Dr. Martin, I would advise that you stay here," Dr. Chambers said loudly. "It isn't in your clearance to know every little thing that goes on around here."

I pursed my lips and watched him for a minute until he lifted his head to glare at me.

"Did you come here to  _work_  or did you come here to  _gossip_ , doctor?" he snapped.

I blinked, angry and stung and worried, but I looked away from him and marched over to another bot that had been brought in.

We worked in silence for most of the day. A lot of people ran by our lab on their ways to more important things, and for once I felt antsy being stuck in a lab rather than content. I was told that it was mandatory that I came into the lab the next day and that was the only information I was given.

"We are on the brink of something incredible, doctor," Dr. Chambers murmured to me, just before he left the lab for the night. "Soon HYDRA will not be forced to hide in the shadows."

I looked up at him, startled, but he was gone.

I didn't sleep well that night; in fact, I didn't sleep at all.

Around three, I realized that sleep wasn't going to be an option, so I grabbed my purse and a taser and I left to go for a walk.

"Stella Martin," Jaeger hummed sleepily as I walked out of the door.

I walked four or five blocks to the nearest park; just a small one with a swing set and a big slide.

It was empty this early in the morning, so I sat down on one of the swings and sighed.

Worry often came in tides, and tonight I was up to my neck in it, feeling like it was pressing in on my lungs. What the hell had Chambers been talking about? I bit at my thumbs as I drifted back and forth on the swing. My fingers were bleeding more often than not due to constantly picking at them and they were always covered in either band-aids or sores.

I heard a shoe scrape against the pebbly ground and my heart skipped a beat. I felt a smile creep across my face and I sat up.

"Nice night, huh?" I said quietly and I turned around.

My stomach dropped when I realized that it wasn't Winter I was talking to; it was some large man I had never seen before and I didn't have a chance to react before he grabbed me. I instantly started thrashing, adrenaline coursing through me, and I elbowed him, hard, in the stomach and his grip loosened. I wriggled out of his hold and I started sprinting.

I heard heavy footfalls of pursuit behind me and I forced myself to run harder. I was no track star or anything though, and I felt myself getting out of breath, but I was so scared that it didn't matter. I furiously dug through my purse for my taser while I ran.

My hand finally finding it, I whipped around to tase the guy and hopefully get away, but he had vanished.

I looked around wildly, worried that he was just hiding, but there wasn't a trace of him anywhere.

My panicked footfalls were the only sound as I ran as fast as I could back to my apartment.

Back in safety, I bolted the door shut and clutched the stitch in my side. I collapsed on the couch and turned the news on, exhausted.

I fell asleep for a short time and I woke up to Isabel calling me around six.

"Stella, oh thank goodness," she sighed in relief when I picked up. "I'm sorry, I just saw on the news that there was a body found a block away from where you live, and I got scared."

"What?" I asked, sitting up. "A body?"

"Yeah," she gulped. "They haven't said any more than that so far. I'm glad you're alright, I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"That's okay, I needed to get up," I assured her. "I have to get ready for work now though; I'll text you."

I hung up and I groaned, feeling more tired than I had before I fell asleep.

I saw the story that Isabel was talking about; a man had been found stuck up in a tree with his neck snapped right outside of my apartment. He had apparently been wanted for petty crimes anyway, I saw as I gave rapt attention to the screen, and a mugshot was shown of him. My eyes widened when I realized that it was the same guy that had tried to attack me. The reporter said that they had no suspects, but they would keep us updated and the segment changed to the weather.

"Stella Martin?" Jaeger said curiously.

I sighed heavily through my nose and rubbed my temples. So Winter  _was_  around… but that just raised more questions.

I couldn't focus on anything at work. I forgot my phone in my apartment, so I couldn't talk to Isabel, and I couldn't exactly confide in Dr. Chambers.

Winter was supposed to be on a very important mission today and I couldn't help but piece together that he was likely going after Captain Rogers.

I had just sat down in the break room and pulled a sweater on to keep myself warm when one of the STRIKE agents appeared in the doorway.

"You're needed in the lab," he clipped and I jumped up to follow him before he finished his sentence.

Winter was back but… he didn't look right. I padded up to him and studied his face. He seemed to be in an altogether different place. It wasn't unusual for him to stare straight ahead when we worked on him, but this seemed like it was more than that. It was like he didn't know anyone else was there.

"What's the matter with him?" I asked Christopher quietly.

"I don't know," he shrugged, unperturbed.

"We don't need to worry about that, he's due for another mission in the morning and he needs to be ready," said the other doctor by Christopher's side.

I swallowed and edged over to Winter's arm.

It had a big hole in the deltoid where several plates where crushed and he had a circular electrical burn on his forearm.

My eyes kept flickering up to his face while I repaired his arm. He was staring straight ahead with glassy eyes. I noticed his hand was shaking a little.

"I don't know if it's safe to be near him right now," I said softly.

"He's fine," said the doctor working beside me.

Winter's head snapped up and his pupils dilated like he was in bright light. He whipped around to look at his metal arm and utter horror crossed his face like he didn't know what it was.

Without warning he struck the man working next to me, sending him flying backwards, and Christopher ran to help him. The guards pointed their guns up at him and I whipped around to bark at them.

"Stop it!" I snapped, getting to my feet defensively.

"Get away from him, Doctor!" Dr. Chambers thundered and I heard Winter fidget behind me.

I ignored him and slowly turned around to look at Winter. He was sitting up on the end of the table, poised like he wanted to run away.

"Winter, can you hear me?" I asked gently.

He was focused on the floor, both of his fists clenched and his muscles strained and his chest heaving. He was shaking.

He looked like he was thinking a million things all at once; he looked  _terrified_.

"Winter," I breathed.

His eyes flicked up to me and he squinted at me.

"Sir, he-he's unstable," I heard Christopher tell someone behind me. "Erratic. He isn't responding to anyone but her."

I swallowed and blinked. I felt an overwhelming sense of fear for Winter. What would they do to him if he wouldn't listen…?

I heard someone walk up next to me and stare down at Winter.

It was Pierce.

I backed away to stand by Christopher, my hands shaking under my sleeves.

"Mission report," Pierce demanded.

Winter didn't seem to hear him, he just kept staring at me and my heart constricted unpleasantly.

"Mission report, now," Pierce said again.

Pierce leaned down to stare into Winter's eyes and he suddenly struck him hard across the face and his head snapped back. I flinched involuntarily.

"That man on the bridge… who was he?" Winter asked, lazily looking to the corner of the room, his face pinched in thought. He looked up at Pierce, confused.

"You met him earlier this week on another assignment," Pierce told him flatly.

Winter studied Pierce, his eyes darting back down to the ground.

"…I knew him," he croaked, his head turning to look at all of us standing behind Pierce as if he was searching for someone to tell him if he was right.

Pierced sighed and settled into a chair in front of Winter.

"Your work has been a gift to mankind," Pierce told him and Winter glared up at him. "You shaped the century, and I need you to do it one more time."

Winter thought about that for a second and his eyes drifted to the floor again.

"Society's at a tipping point between order and chaos," Pierce went on. "And tomorrow morning we're going to give it a push."

"HYDRA is close to giving the world the freedom it deserves," Pierce said forcefully. "But if you don't do your part, I can't do mine."

Winter's eyes grazed over us all again. "…But I  _knew_  him," he insisted, his face pinched in conflict.

Pierce sighed heavily, not having the answer he wanted. He stood up and glared down at Winter.

"Prep him," he said simply and Winter's eyes found me and my throat constricted.

"Sir, he's been out of cryo freeze too long…" Christopher said quietly. Pierce glanced at him in irritation.

"Then wipe him, and start over," he ordered.

My eyelids trembled. What did that mean...?

Christopher and the other scientist walked up to Winter and Winter was staring at me heavily. He knew what they were going to do to him, but I didn't.

I bit the inside of my cheek as they pushed him back into the table.

Christopher put a mouth guard in his mouth and Winter's eyes bored into me, fury and terror and so much  _rage_.

I forced myself not to let out a gasp as they placed electrical pads on his head and I realized that they were going to shock him into forgetting about Captain Rogers.

Winter was panting now, his chest lurching like someone that had just been pulled out of water and his hands were shaking. I felt like I was going to faint.

Winter started screaming as the electricity went into his head and I clenched my jaws shut to stop from screaming too.

Pierce left with one of the STRIKE agents, just left Winter there to be tortured and I wanted to tear the throats out of everyone in the room, even Christopher and Dr. Chambers.

It was clear to me now, as I watched Winter thrash and writhe in agony, that HYDRA didn't care about him or me or anyone for that matter.

HYDRA wasn't good, HYDRA wasn't fighting for peace. HYDRA was an abomination built on death and steeped in blood.

"Doctor, Director Pierce wants a word," one of the STRIKE agents told me nonchalantly as if we were at a dinner party.

I nodded stiffly and followed him out of the caged room.

Pierce was talking with a different STRIKE agent and he glanced at me and dismissed the agent.

"Doctor Martin, it's going to be absolutely vital that you do your job to the best of your ability tonight," he told me, studying my face.

I tried my best to look like I didn't feel like throwing up or fainting. "…To repair his arm, sir?" I asked, forcing my voice not to shake.

Pierce laughed and my hands formed fists under the sleeves of my sweater.

"That's  _part_  of your job, you're right, but your most important job is keeping him calm," he told me, jerking his head to the caged room where Winter was still screaming.

I blinked, not understanding.

"Think of it like this," he said, striding across the room to grab a glass of water from one of the tables. "Have you been around horses much?"

I shook my head.

"My grandfather owned a horse farm when I was young," he told me, leaning against the table. "He broke a lot of stallions. It was important to  _break_  the stallion of course, but it was also important to calm them down so that they wouldn't hurt themselves. Do you know how he did that?"

I shook my head again. I briefly thought of lunging at him, maybe I'd be able to break the glass he was holding, grab a shard, and plunge it into his jugular vein before any of the STRIKE agents shot me.

"He would put a goat into the nervous stallion's stall," he said simply. "The presence of the goat would calm down the horse, that easy. It didn't always happen that way though; sometimes the stallion would rear up and crush the goat. I remembered one day a black stallion named Striker trampled one of the poor goats and we couldn't even get it out of his stall for three days. But that sort of thing was rare."

"You need me to keep him calm when they're done wiping him," I clarified.

Pierce nodded. "Exactly."

I nodded to show that I understood. I understood now, why I was hired. I was disposable, an easy mess to clean up.

"Good," Pierce said, standing up, sniffing nonchalantly and glancing into Winter's cell of a room. "They should be about done wiping him and then you'll need to stay with him all night. I don't imagine that he'll rear up at you, but if he does, there will be two agents stationed outside the door."

"Of course, sir," I said, careful that my voice didn't drip venom.

"Very good, Doctor," Pierce said warmly. "I'll see you both in the morning."

Pierce left and most of the STRIKE agents followed.

I just stood there for a minute, not wanting to go back into that prison cell and see what they had done to Winter. What  _I_  had done to him.

I swallowed and forced my feet to take me back into the room.

Winter was lying there motionless, his eyes closed and for a second I was worried that he was dead.

"He should wake up in a few hours," Christopher said, glancing at me over his paperwork. "Director Pierce is going to speak with him in the morning. Until then just try to keep him calm, okay?"

I nodded numbly.

He left with the other scientist and only Dr. Chambers remained with me. My skin crawled where I could feel Dr. Chambers looking at me and I wished he'd leave.

"Doctor Martin," he said quietly.

"What?" I said flatly.

"I know that you must disapprove of this, but it's the only way to be sure that he's compliant."

I didn't respond.

"…Since you're going to be stuck here all night with him, there's something that you should know," he went on.

I padded up to Winter's side and looked at his arm. I hadn't been able to repair it completely before.

"There is a safe word that will shut him down if he becomes violent," Dr. Chambers said and I looked at him, furrowing my eyebrows.

"How can a word shut him down?" I asked lowly.

"It was necessary," he said simply. "The word 'Sputnik' will stop his heart momentarily and give you enough time to get away from him."

I studied his worn, unreadable face, anger spurring my belly.

"…Fine," I said, turning away from him. "Is that all you wanted?"

"Doctor, he isn't a person, not anymore, you shouldn't be so  _infatuated_  with him if you know what's good for you."

" _Is that all you wanted_?" I repeated harshly.

Dr. Chambers sighed. "Yes. Good luck, Doctor."

I gripped the table next to Winter to steady myself for a minute, staring at the shiny metal of Winter's arm. I heard the cell door squeak shut as Chambers left.

I felt my face flush and tears pricked my eyes and I let out a quiet sob. I shook for several minutes, trying to stifle my crying, but I couldn't help myself.

"I'm sorry," I gasped quietly. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'm – so –  _sorry_  –!"

Winter didn't stir and I sniffled and wiped my eyes with a paper towel and sighed heavily.

For several hours Winter slept, motionless. I wondered if he dreamt. I hoped he didn't. I sat next to him in a hard plastic chair, not wanting to fix his arm until he woke up. The guards stationed outside left after a few hours, but I didn't care. I was glad that they were gone. I should have been to afraid to sleep, but I found it hard to stay awake. It was deafeningly quiet down there, besides the faintest humming of the machines and Winter's breathing it was silent.

I drifted off after a while; the stress of the day and the silence lulled me to sleep in spite of my anxiety.

I woke up because something touched me and my eyelids fluttered open. I saw Winter's face in a haze, staring at me in confusion and I sleepily smiled at him.

My eyes widened when I remembered where I was and I sat up quickly. Winter was frowning at me in confusion. His eyes had bruises under them and he had burns on his face where the pads had set.

"Winter," I said, my voice thick from sleep and I cleared my throat. "How-how do you feel?"

He narrowed his eyes like that was a trick question and he looked around the room.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Stella Martin," I said, picking at my fingers. "You're in a HYDRA facility."

He nodded and frowned, looking away from me. I watched him, my stomach twisting.

I wanted to let him loose, let him run away, but he wouldn't know where to go and he'd just come back here.

I was sick with rage, looking at him now. Whatever was going to happen in the morning, I desperately craved HYDRA to burn. I wanted Pierce dead and all of HYDRA dead with him. But most of all I wanted Winter to escape by some impossible miracle.


	5. Collateral Damage

Winter was silent, studying my face and I knew that he didn’t recognize me. Months of gradually gaining his trust little by little, all gone because Captain Rogers had set of some sort of spark of recognition inside of him. How in the hell could he _possibly_ know Captain Rogers anyway? I realized that I was glowering at the burns on his forehead, and I forced my eyes to the ground instead.

I got up and shuffled over to the other side of the room to grab a bottle of water and some food that I had stuffed in my purse earlier. I sniffed loudly and wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my sweater.

I brought the food to him, a peanut butter and banana sandwich, a peach, and the water and I sat down heavily in the plastic chair at Winter’s feet. Winter’s eyes moved between me and the food. I could feel that my face was puffy from crying, but I didn’t care anymore. It was safer to show what I felt in front of him than it was to in front of anyone else.

“What is this?” Winter asked, looking down at the sandwich suspiciously.

“It’s got peanut butter and banana on it,” I said hoarsly. I coughed to clear my throat. “You don’t have to eat it.”

I pressed my knuckles into my eyes and sighed.

“…They…need me for something…?” Winter mumbled after a few minutes of silence.

I swallowed and sat up. “…Yeah. I don’t know what for – they didn’t tell me.”

I sat up and glanced at the clock on the wall. 4:57 am. I briefly thought of all the people being jarred awake by their alarm clocks across the city.

“They’ll probably come soon,” I said in a brittle voice. “Pierce, I mean.”

“…He has new targets for me?” Winter asked gruffly.

I wrapped my arms around myself and I pulled my sweater tighter. “…Yes.”

Voices bounced off the walls and my head snapped up to search for the source behind me. My wide eyes locked with Winter’s when I turned back around and I felt my stomach drop. Tears pricked my eyes and I swallowed hard to stop myself from crying.

“ _I’m so sorry_.” I whispered.

Winter narrowed his eyes. I wanted to say something, anything, else, but my throat wouldn’t let any sound out. I just stared at him, my bottom lip trembling in fear. Winter’s expression changed slightly; was it possibly recognition that crossed his face?

The cage door screeched open and I flinched involuntarily and I closed my eyes for a second.

“How is he, Doctor Martin?” I heard Pierce’s voice ask.

My hands were shaking in rage again. “…He’s calm, sir,” I said in a honeyed voice.

“Excellent,” Pierce said approvingly. “That will be all for now then, doctor.

I glanced between Winter’s eyes one more time and I stood up. I walked out of the room, nodding at Pierce as I did.

Feeling sick to my stomach, I walked into my lab I was relieved that there wasn’t a bot for me to work on. Dr. Chambers was engrossed in working on a large gun of some kind, and he didn’t look up at me when I entered. I sat down in a chair close to the lab windows and pulled my knees up to my chest and chewed on the skin of my fingers.

“Doctor Martin, do you know what I consider to be my greatest achievement?” Dr. Chambers barked loudly, startling me.

I stared at him, surprised. Was he _drunk? Here_?

“I must _humbly_ admit that it was wiring the Winter Solider with that safe word,” he slurred, looking up at me and letting the tool he had been holding slip out of his hand and hit the ground with a clank,

“You – you did what?” I stammered in shock. “How?”

“Keaton was a brain surgeon,” he said brightly. “You’d be surprised how much brains are like machines once you dig into them.”

My back stiffened and I put my feet on the ground. _What_?

“What are you talking about, human brains aren't even comparable to a robot,” I said quietly.

“They are though!” Chambers insisted. “He kept thrashing around and screaming though. Of course, I’m used to the bots doing that sort of thing, but he made a different sort of outburst entirely –”

“ _Attention all S.H.I.E.L.D. agents,_ " a voice suddenly came over the intercom. “ _This is Captain Rogers speaking_.”

Dr. Chamber’s face hardened and I perked up to listen to Captain Rogers.

“You’ve probably heard a lot about me over the last few days. Some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think that it’s time you learned the truth. S.H.I.E.L.D. has been taken over by HYDRA and Pierce is their leader. STRIKE and INSIGHT are HYDRA too and I don’t know how many others. But I know they’re in the building.”

Dr. Chambers held my eye, a dangerous glint forming in them.

“They almost have what they want; absolute control. They shot Nick Fury and it won’t end there. If we launch those helicarriers, then HYDRA will be able to kill whoever they want unless we stop them. The price of freedom is high, it always has been, but it’s a price I’m willing to pay. And if I’m the only one, then so be it. But I’m willing to bet that I’m not.”

Silence followed Captain Roger’s speech and I felt myself start to panic. I didn’t know about the helicarriers. I didn’t know that they wanted to kill people. _My god what have I helped do._

Chambers was glaring at me, seeing how I was going to react. I was standing up now, facing him and trying to discreetly run my hand over the table to find something to defend myself with.

He moved to lunge at me, shouting hoarsely, and my hand found something hard on the table. I lashed out at him with it, a metal pipe, and I clocked him straight across the head with it. His face went blank and he crashed to the floor and I gasped and dropped the pipe.

“Shit!” I hissed, leaping over him and throwing the door open.

I forced myself to walk, not run, so that I wouldn’t look suspicious, but there was no one to notice me.

An alarm blared over the intercom saying “ALL SHIELD AGENTS REPORT TO DESIGNATED SAFETY ZONES.”

The elevator was down, so I had to take the stairs, four flights of them, and by the time I had ran up them I could hardly breathe. I heard gunfire on the other side of the stairwell door. After I caught my breath, I eased it open a sliver and peered through. Everything seemed clear for moment, ignoring the distant gunfire and screams.

I slipped out and bolted for the nearest exit, but I ran right into a gunfight between who I assumed were S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA agents.

I ducked into an alcove by a steal beam, bullets ricocheting off of metal all around me, and covered my ears and tried to make myself as small as possible.

The gunfire ceased suddenly, and I dared to open my eyes. Five agents lay on the ground, blood spurting out of their bullet-ridden bodies and I let out a strangled cry and covered my mouth with my hands. I fell backward back into the alcove and my head swam. This was too much… I couldn’t get out of here, there was no way…

“Oh god…” I choked and blacked out.

Loud booming startled me awake and the ground shook under me. I scrambled out of my hiding place. I felt something wet on my legs and I looked down to see that sticky crimson blood covered my pants. Panic spurred me into action and I sprinted, not going in a specific direction, desperate to escape this hell.

I passed an agent, S.H.I.E.L.D. or HYDRA it didn’t matter, and they shot at me. My left arm stung, but it didn’t hurt enough to slow me down, so I just pushed myself to run faster. I just kept running because I didn’t know what else to do.

By some miracle I made it out of the building and onto the bridge and earsplitting explosions ripped through the air and I looked up to see something that made me stop dead in my tracks. One colossal helicarrier was crashing into the S.H.I.E.L.D. building, one was already down in the water, and another was falling out of the sky in a ball of fire and black smoke.

I couldn’t do anything but gape at the ships for a second, utterly horrified. Winter was on one of those things. I let out a strangled scream, unable to do anything else.

This was HYDRA’s legacy. These burning ships raining down from the sky. How many people died on them? How many more were killed inside of the building?

Tears streamed down my face, but I knew that I couldn’t stay here. I climbed on part of one of the ships to get over the spikes that had gone up on the bridge and I miraculously made it out and away from the hellfire-engulfed buildings.

No one was on the streets that were usually packed full of people, not a soul. I stumbled down the sidewalk, shell-shocked. Ambulances and firetrucks flew by me, their sirens digging into me like knives.

I found a car that had been abandoned still running, like whoever was driving it was so horrified at the destruction that they jumped out and ran away. I drove it back to my apartment and crashed it into a pole right outside of my building.

“Stella Martin!” Jaeger exclaimed in alarm. “You’re bleeding.”

I stood still in the doorway of my apartment, unable to move.

“I can’t stay here,” I whispered hoarsely.

“Stella Martin needs medical attention. I will alert the authorities,” Jaeger chirped.

“No!” I said, alarmed.

I strode over to Jaeger and turned him around to wretch the control panel off of his back. I took out the chip that held his characteristics and personality and Jaeger let out a distorted “StElLA _Marrr_ -ten” before he shut off.

“I’m sorry,” I sobbed, pressing my forehead onto Jaeger’s shoulder. “I can’t take all of you with me – I’m – _sorry_!”

I got to my feet, still crying hysterically, and I ran around my apartment, throwing clothes and sketches and cash into a duffel bag.

I ran out of my apartment and down the empty street. I ended up stumbling to the park that I always went to and I collapsed on the ground and leaned against the poles holding up the swing set. The explosions had stopped in the distance.

I stared at the ground, not able to fully understand what was happening. My job was gone, I didn’t have a home anymore. As far as I knew, I was a fugitive of the law. I heard a police siren screaming my way and I pulled my knees up to my chest and hid my face in my knees and clamped my hands over my ears.

“Stop, stop, stop, stop _, please,_ ” I breathed.

I halfway expected the police to pull up to me and throw me in the back of their squad car, but they didn’t.

I looked back up, a fresh wave of horror washing over me. Winter was probably dead, his body entombed in the smoldering wreckage of those helicarriers. I couldn’t even cry now. The world was spinning, I felt like dying in that moment.

“…Devushka,” I heard a rough voice say and my head snapped up.

Winter was standing there, next to me, staring down at me tiredly. I leapt to my feet in disbelief.

“W-Winter?” I asked, reaching out to him.

I gawked at him, realizing that I wasn’t imagining him being there, and I felt tears flood into my eyes.

“Oh my god,” I cried, leaning into his chest. “Oh god, I thought – _oh my god_!”

Winter allowed me to cry for a minute as blind relief flooded through me.

He was soaked, like he had been in a lake and my fingers dug into the leather armor on his chest like he would disappear at any second if I didn’t hold onto him.

“What happened?” I managed.

“You’re bleeding,” Winter said, ignoring my question.

I sniffed and looked down at myself. My left arm was steadily leaking blood, but the rest of the heavy stuff wasn’t mine…

“It’s just my arm, I’m fine,” I told him. I stepped back from him and looked him over, my eyes widening. His right arm was clamped close to his body like it was broken and his face was bleeding and scratched, but he was here and he was alive.

“We need to get somewhere safe,” Winter told me gruffly, his eyes scanning around us.

I nodded, blinking and trying to get ahold of myself.

“I – we can go to my friend Isabel’s house,” I stammered. “She would take us in – I don’t know where else we could go, and – you’re hurt.”

Winter frowned down at me.

“We don’t have a lot of options here,” I argued.

Winter sighed, glancing behind me.

“Will she tell anyone about us?” He asked.

I shook my head.

Winter pursed his lips. “…Fine.”

The car I had driven was totaled and unusable and Winter said that we would just have to walk.

Sirens rang through the air and the sound scared me. Winter stuck to my side when they would go by so that we would look like we were together and I held onto his bionic arm so that it wasn’t so conspicuous. We could be a normal couple if we weren’t the only ones on the streets. No one approached us; all of the police in the city had a lot more to worry about than two ragged people stumbling down the streets.

We made it to Isabel's house and I knocked on the door, worried that she wasn't home. I noticed an orange tabby cat sitting on the windowsill inside of the house, watching us suspiciously. After a few minutes I heard movement behind the door and the doorknob rattled. Isabel peeked through the chained door at us and her eyes widened when she realized that it was me. The door snapped closed and I heard her fumble with the chain and she threw the door open.

"Stella!" she exclaimed, pushing her glasses up. "What is going on?! I heard on the news that S.H.E.I.L.D. was under some sort of attack and I've been trying to call you for hours!"

Her eyes widened when she looked me over and she covered her mouth in horror.

"Stella is that your blood?" she quaked.

"Some of it," I said, throwing a glance behind us. "Can we come in? I don't want to be out on the street right now."

She nodded from behind her hands and moved to let us inside.

Isabel's apartment was a small; one bedroom, one bathroom, a cramped living room connected to a tidy kitchen. There was a desk under the windows in the living room and an overstuffed couch sat in front of a tv and a small table with four chairs around it in front of the kitchen. The cat had climbed down from the window and was warily peering at us from behind a fern by the door.

"Who is this?" Isabel asked after she shut and locked the door and pulled all of the curtains closed.

"Um," I glanced at Winter as he scanned the small apartment. "This is Johnny."

Winter looked at me out of the corner of his eye and I hoped he would just go with it. Isabel stared at the two of us and I realized how unfair it was to just drop all of this on her, she had no obligation to help us. Isabel shook herself and marched into the kitchen.

"Who's hurt worse?" She asked as she dug around under the kitchen sink.

"He is –" I started.

"Take care of her first," Winter interrupted me.

I opened my mouth to argue but Winter shot me a look of 'don't argue'. Stubborn boy. Isabel pushed everything on the kitchen island to one side.

"Sit," she demanded, pointing to the tabletop.

"He's a lot worse off than I am," I protested. "His arm's broken and –"

"Well he's not covered in blood, and frankly he doesn't look like he wants me to touch him, so sit," Isabel insisted.

I frowned but I reluctantly hopped up on the counter and let Isabel cut the sleeve of my sweater off of me.

"Okay, it's not bad actually," Isabel said when she had carefully peeled my sweater away the wound. "Is it from a bullet?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't hurt as bad as I thought it would," I said, pulling my eyes off of Winter to look at Isabel.

"That's because the bullet just grazed you, it's very shallow as far as bullet wounds go."

I pursed my lips. "Oh."

She cleaned it with some sort of solution and wrapped it up and I glanced at her curiously.

"Why do you know how to dress wounds?" I asked. "Is that something you run into a lot being a museum curator?"

I was hoping one of them would laugh to ease the horrible tension, but neither of them did.

"It's just generally good knowledge to have," she said, checking my bloodstained pants to see if the blood was actually mine. "In case of situations exactly like this one."

"Fair enough," I shrugged.

Isabel changed the bandage on my skin graft from my earlier injury too and she seemed content that I was okay.

"Okay, it looks like you're fine," Isabel said, standing up. "Where did Johnny go?"

My heart skipped a beat and I looked wildly around for him. He wasn't in the living room anymore and I felt my stomach twist.

" _Winter_!?" I called, jumping off of the counter and searching the little flat for him.

One of the doors I tried was locked and there was light coming from under the door. I sighed in relief.

"Winter?" I asked, knocking on the door.

I heard cloth rip on the other side, but he didn't answer me. Isabel padded up behind me and crossed her arms in worry.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Fine," he clipped.

I heard an awful slimy sort of sound like someone twisting a knife into someone's side and I gagged silently.

"Winter let us help you,  _please,_ " I managed after a minute.

" _No_!" he barked. "Go away, I'm fine!"

I turned to Isabel in desperation and she bit her bottom lip and shrugged.

"If he can take care of himself, you might as well let him," she said quietly.

"He doesn't have to take care of himself, though," I replied just as quietly.

I heard another fleshy sort of noise and I shivered in revulsion and moved away from the door. Winter stayed locked up in the bathroom for hours and Isabel turned the TV on so that we had something to listen to other than whatever the hell Winter was doing to himself. I changed clothes and cleaned most of the blood off of me with a rag, and I felt somewhat better. My hands were still shaking badly enough that I couldn't hold a cup. The fall of SHIELD was the only thing on the news now, at least 80 people were confirmed dead at this point and they were still pulling bodies from the wreckage.

"Does Johnny have a metal arm?" Isabel asked in an undertone after a while.

I glanced at her from where I was curled up on the couch.

"Yeah," I said softly. "Don't ask him about it though, okay?"

Isabel nodded. "Of course not."

"He's not…" I started and then sighed. "HYDRA was using him to hurt people, but… he's not bad. It wasn't his fault."

Isabel nodded again. "I understand."

We sat in silence for a few minutes and I stared blankly at the television.

"Izz…" I whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I think… I think that I might have helped kill all of those people…" I breathed in a brittle voice. "I didn't work for SHIELD, I worked for HYDRA. I didn't know what they were doing until it was too late –"

My voice cracked and I felt tears well up in my eyes. Isabel scooted to sit next to me and she put a hand on my shoulder.

"I didn't know how –  _awful_  – HYDRA was until I was in too deep," I cried. "They tortured him, and I helped – _them_  – _do it_  –!"

I broke down into sobs and Isabel held me to her and I buried my face in her shoulder and cried.

"None of that's your fault, Stella," Isabel said firmly, rubbing my back.

"Yes it is!" I blubbered. "People died because of me, I was part of HYDRA and I'm to blame as much as any of them are!"

I cried on Isabel for a while and she held me and did her best to comfort me. I calmed down after a while and she got me some tissues and a wet cloth to wipe my face off with. It was dark outside now and I had started to yawn a lot.

Isabel noticed and got me the softest blanket that she had and several pillows.

"If Johnny comes out, he can have the couch and you can sleep in my bed with me. If you're alright with that of course," Isabel said, crossing her arms self-consciously. "I'm sorry that my place is so small, I just don't know how else everyone can have somewhere to sleep."

"That's perfect, Izz," I said, smiling somewhat. "Thank you so much."

She nodded, giving me a reassuring smile. "I'll just be in my bedroom if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you," I said and she disappeared into her bedroom.

I turned the volume down on the TV and curled up in the blankets.

I drifted off into an uneasy sleep and when I woke up it was still dark out and the TV was off. I sat up, feeling uneasy, and after my eyes adjusted I realized that Winter was sitting in one of the armchairs by the window.

"Winter," I said softly.

His head turned and he looked at me, his face unreadable through the darkness.

"Aren't you tired?" I asked through the silence.

"No. It isn't safe enough here to sleep," he rasped.

I frowned and pulled the blanket up around my shoulders. It was cold in here even though it was midsummer. I heard the ticking of a clock through the quiet. I felt at peace here, curled up in the blankets with Winter in the room. I felt safer here than I had in my own house for a long time. I laid back down and got comfortable in the blankets.

"Are you hurt badly anywhere?" I asked.

"No, I'm fine."

"Is your arm broken?"

"Yes, but I'm fine."

I huffed through my nose. "Did you at least set the bone so that it won't heal crooked?"

"Yes. This isn't the first time I've broken something."

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. I shifted around and the couch creaked.

"…I'm sorry, by the way," I said softly.

"For what?" Winter asked, confused.

"I don't know… for not helping you. For not… helping you escape from the hell that you were in," I whispered.

"…You couldn't have done anything."

"I'm not convinced that's true."

Winter was quiet for a minute and I felt heavy and guilty and filthy.

"You were the only one that was ever kind to me there," Winter said after a while. "You're blameless."

"Is that why you saved me from the fire?" The couch squeaked as I moved around again. "Do you remember that?"

"…I remember a few things; hearing you scream and carrying you through the smoke," Winter mused. "And after they… wiped me. You were there."

I heard the leather Winter was wearing shift. "…You were crying."

"I was scared."

"Why?"

"I didn't know what they had done to you. And while they were wiping you… the way you were  _screaming_ … It was the worst thing I've ever heard."

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. It was getting hard to keep my eyes open.

"It was all I could do not to punch Pierce in the mouth," I murmured sleepily.

Winter chuckled gruffly and I sat up a little bit to look in his direction, grinning.

"You punching Pierce… You're so  _small_."

"I'm not that small," I laughed, lying back down. "I could have gotten, like, three punches in before anyone stopped me."

Winter chuckled again.

"Go to sleep, devushka," Winter said softly.

I put my head down on the cool pillow and closed my eyes. I fell asleep not long after that.

We spent two weeks at Isabel's to recover and even though I left with her to get groceries and things, Winter didn't leave the apartment at all, or at least not to my knowledge. I slept curled up with Isabel after the first night in hopes of getting Winter to sleep on the couch, but if he did go to sleep, he always woke up before I did. He never ate anything that Isabel made either, and after a few days I realized that he would only eat anything if I made it for him or if he made it himself. Isabel wasn't offended, she rationalized that it made sense that he didn't trust her. Isabel's cat, Poppy, took a liking to Winter and she rubbed against his leg often, purring. Winter didn't seem to mind. I saw him very gently patting her a few times and smiling to himself.

"What are you guys going to do now?" Isabel asked me when we were out walking one day.

I stared down at the ground. That was the nagging question, never far behind me like a stranger I couldn't shake off.

"I have no idea," I admitted quietly, bumping into someone that was going by us the other way. "I keep thinking that I'll just wake up one day and Johnny will be gone, but…"

I sighed and shrugged.

"I don't know why he's stayed this long," I mumbled.

Isabel raised one of her eyebrows at me. "You really can't think of  _any_  reason he's still around?"

I smirked halfheartedly.

"Stella, he's not going anywhere," Isabel said confidently.

I wasn't so sure.

That night I was fast asleep in Isabel's bed, dreaming, when I was pulled out of my sleep by strange noises.

I was in a city that was always day and always night split right down the middle. I was alone in the city; there weren't any cars or stores or anything, the place was like a map of a video game that hadn't completely loaded. I heard shouts echoing off of the walls and I followed them, trying to find someone else in this barren place, but the screams were coming from everywhere and it was impossible to find the source.

"Where are you?" I shouted, my voice warping and echoing loudly with the other voice.

The voice manifested into color, crimson and violet and a sickly green whirling around me violently.

"Where are you?!" I screamed again, but my voice was lost in the frenzy of color and sound.

I jolted awake and sat up, gasping. I still heard the voice, like someone struggling to get out of barbed wire. Isabel had woken up too and she moved to turn the lamp on by her bed and push her glasses on.

"Is that Johnny?" she asked, sleep slurring her speech, and my stomach twisted.

"Winter?" I called, jumping up out of the bed.

I ran into the living room, hitting my shins on something in the dark and I fumbled blindly for a light. Isabel flipped it on and I was horror-struck to see Winter thrashing around on the couch like someone was attacking him.

"Winter?" I said loudly over him.

He didn't seem to hear me and a scream of pain was drawn out of him from deep within his chest. I gingerly padded up to him and touched his arm, hoping to calm him down. His eyes flew open and he screamed again and I recoiled and fell backward onto the floor. Winter leapt up and spun wildly around, his eyes wide and unhinged. His eyes found me and he turned to me, every muscle in his body tensed to defend himself or flee.

"WHERE AM I!?" he demanded loudly. " _WHO ARE YOU?!_ "

I raised my hands and slowly rose to my feet and Winter's eyes darted between mine like he was feverishly trying to figure out if I was a threat.

"You're safe," I said softly. "From HYDRA, from Pierce, from all of that."

He narrowed his eyes at me.

"I'm Stella Martin, remember? I was one of the scientists that worked for HYDRA. HYDRA fell and you found me and we came here to recover."

He glared at me, trying to decide if I was lying or not. His eyes darted to Isabel where she was standing in the hallway. His eyebrows knit together and his eyes dropped to the floor as he pieced things together in his head. His muscles slowly relaxed and his fists unclenched.

"…Winter?" I asked quietly after a minute.

His eyes slowly fixed on my face. Recognition flickered across his face and I gave him a small smile.

Winter suddenly turned and darted to the door, throwing it open and sprinting into the night.

 


	6. Trigger Word: Sputnik

Panic hit me like a punch to the gut and I ran out after Winter.

"Winter!?" I shouted, looking frantically around for him. "WINTER!?"

Deafening silence answered me. He had vanished into the night like a ghost. Isabel and I searched for him for hours, hoarsely calling his name, but Winter didn't want to be found so we couldn't find him. We gave up when light started to bleed across the sky. We had made it all they way to the reflection pool in the National Mall.

I collapsed by the water, staring blankly down into it. He was gone. Just like that.

"Stella?"

I was never going to see him again.

"Stella?"

Winter…

"Stella," Isabel said gently, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I straightened up a little bit and sniffled.

"I'm sure he'll come back," Isabel assured me, giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

I put my hand over hers.

"No he won't," I rasped.

"Hey!" I heard a new voice call and I tensed up.

I looked up out of the corner of my eye and saw a man jogging up to us.

"Are you ladies alright?" he asked, slowing down to a stop next to us.

"Yeah, we were just looking for our dog," Isabel lied smoothly. "He got out and bolted off and we haven't been able to find him."

"What kind of dog is he?" The man asked.

"A German Shepard named Baltar," Isabel told the man.

"Hm," The man mused, glancing over the reflection pool. "I haven't seen any dogs like that this morning."

"Oh, that's okay," Isabel said, disappointment coloring her voice. "C'mon Stella, he might have gone back home."

Isabel gave me her hand and she pulled me up. The man was frowning at me, probably wondering if I was crazy, and I wiped my eyes and gave him a small smile.

He nodded at me and smiled back. "It's okay, I'm sure you'll find him."

"Thanks," I said softly.

Isabel called a cab and we rode back to her apartment, a flame of hope burning in my chest that maybe, just  _maybe_ , Winter had come back. The hope drowned when we walked through the door to a house that was deathly still and deserted.

Isabel told me that he would come back any day, that he didn't have anywhere else to go. Any day turned into any week. Nothing. I still slept with Isabel in her bed, I couldn't stand to be by myself. I couldn't get a job; I was too afraid to do anything. I cut my hair even shorter than it was and I started wearing fake glasses whenever I went out. I was living in constant fear now, I couldn't even start to rebuild my life when all I thought about was HYDRA or SHIELD coming for me or where Winter was and if he was alright.

Summer was decaying into a brilliantly colored autumn. Isabel worried that I wasn't eating enough, and she was probably right. All I ever did was sleep. Everything seemed too bright and too hazy for my eyes. Isabel was constantly putting bandages on my hands and I felt like a burden to her, regardless of what she told me.

In October Isabel drove me to West Virginia to see all of the leaves changing color. We went to an orchard and picked a bunch of apples in the chilly sunshine and I felt... something. Like I wasn't the ghost that had haunted Isabel's life for months. Like maybe things would be okay if I could just stay under the trees in the silent, sweet air.

We got back to Isabel's house late in the evening. I didn't remember the last time I felt so happy.

I went into her flat first, carrying a sack of apples and I fumbled around for the light. I gave up and set the apples down on the kitchen table in the dark. One bounced out of the bag and rolled off the table. I bent down to retrieve it and I noticed a pair of feet standing two inches away from me, feet that certainly didn't belong to Isabel.

My breath stuck in my throat and I lept to my feet and chucked the apple at the intruder's head, which they easily dodged, and lashed out them, but they were too fast and they caught my arm as if I were a child throwing a tantrum. I squealed and tried to knee them in the groin but they blocked me again. I just started thrashing, trying desperately to get out of their hold and I heard Isabel shout "Stella, what's wrong?"

A light was flipped on and I stared wide-eyed into my assailant's face only to realize that it was the confused, scruffy face of Winter. I gasped and fell still, Winter still holding onto my arm.

"W-Winter?" I stammered. "What – what are - ?"

He let go of my wrist and stepped back from me, studying me silently. I couldn't do anything but gawk at him. I felt tears bubbling up in my eyes.

"Where have you been?" I said in a small, brittle voice.

Winter's eyebrows knit together like it was perplexing to him that I was behaving this way.

"I have to figure out who I am," Winter said softly. "I used to be someone… I used to have a name. I need to know who I was so I can... recover."

"…That's why you left?" I asked, swallowing to try and get rid of the thickness in my voice.

He nodded.

"You could have told me that," I mumbled, wiping at my eyes with my jacket sleeve.

Winter reached out to tilt my chin up and he lowered his eyebrows at me before gently removing the fake glasses I had been wearing, making my heart jump into my throat.

"I know what your name used to be," Isabel commented and we both turned to her.

Isabel glanced in between us.

"There's an entire exhibit about you at the Smithsonian," she explained. "I was going to tell you, but you left before I got the chance."

"Was it…" Winter began but paused and frowned as if he was struggling for the right word.

"Bucky," they said in unison.

Isabel pushed her glasses up. "Your name is Bucky."

Winter studied the ground for a minute.

"I need to see the exhibit," he said.

"I can get all three of us in first thing in the morning," Isabel said matter-of-factly.

"What else do you know about me?" Winter asked, staring at Isabel intently.

"I know that you used to be friends with Captain Rogers," Isabel said slowly. "You had supposedly fallen from a cliff and died in 1945."

"No, I - I don't know him," Winter mumbled, backing away from me, panic slowly overtaking his features.

"All I know is... the mud and ice and… blood," he said to no one in particular, his voice raising.

"Winter," I coaxed, stepping toward him.

"What did Zola do to me?!" he asked, addressing neither us. "WHY DIDN'T I JUST DIE?!"

Winter clamped his hands on the sides of his head. "WHERE AM I!?" he bellowed, terror poisoning his voice and he fell to his knees. "LET GO OF ME!"

Isabel covered her mouth with her hands, looking at me for instructions.

"WINTER!" I pleaded over his shouting.

He hunched over, his hands clamped over his ears. I edged toward him and knelt in front of him, tears pricking my eyes from seeing him so scared and so confused.

"Winter…" I coaxed, reaching my hand out to him.

I gingerly touched his shoulder. He was shaking.

"…Stella?" Winter asked after a minute.

My throat constricted. That was the first time he had said my name. "I'm right here."

Winter slowly looked up at me.

"Will you help me?" he rasped. "I don't… I can't do this myself…"

I felt my heart leap and I scooted closer to him. "Of course I will."

Winter nodded and I rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.

"…I'm glad you came back," I said softly.

The edge of Winter's mouth twitched up slightly into the ghost of a smile. Isabel edged discreetly into her room to give us some privacy and I was grateful for it.

I curled up on the couch and talked to Winter for as long as I could before I fell asleep.

I started awake a few hours later when faint light was just starting to filter through the curtains in the living room. I gasped and my eyes darted around, Winter's name already on my lips.

"What?" Winter answered immediately and I heard his clothes shift. "Stella?"

I blinked several times and my heart slowed down.

 _Please don't go_. I bit back.

"…Nothing," I sighed. "Just…"

I rubbed my sleep-laden eyes, unconsciousness tugging on my body.

"I'm glad you're here," I mumbled, almost silent as sleep pulled me back down to the couch.

"Me too," he hummed back and I drifted back into sleep with his soft voice bouncing around in my head.

Isabel woke me up at eight and I hastily got ready. Winter had dressed himself in an oversized jacket and a baseball cap and regular jeans. He let me pull his hair back into a messy bun for him to keep it out of his eyes.

"How are we going to get in?" I asked from the back seat of Isabel's car. "Aren't there metal detectors at the entrances?"

"We'll go through a back entrance," Isabel said simply. "I do work there, you know."

I nodded and leaned back in my seat. Winter was staring outside of the car window, his eyes scanning the people and passing cars. My eyes flickered to his hand where it was resting on the seat between us and I briefly wanted to take it. He had grown some scruff on his face and in his civilian clothes he looked like a regular guy, as long as you didn't look at his left hand too closely or glance into his eyes. His eyes were always too wide like he didn't know what was going on, always suspicious as he ceaselessly searched the faces of the people around us for HYDRA agents.

Isabel parked her car in the back of the museum and confidently led us through a backdoor that she had a key for.

We walked through a large warehouse sort of room where there were aisles and aisles of wrapped up items on shelves that stretched toward the ceiling.

"If anyone asks, you two just got married okay?" Isabel said quietly over her shoulder.

"What?" I said stupidly, immediately turning scarlet.

"If anyone asks, you two just got married and I'm letting you guys behind the scenes as a wedding present," Isabel said, glancing down one of the aisles.

I exchanged a look with Winter and he gave me the smallest smirk and I felt his arm snake behind my back which made my stomach feel like it had a frog leaping around in it.

"Hey, Isabel!" came a loud voice and I saw a thin, curly haired man in a tweed jacket running up to us.

"I misplaced some files about, you know, that science fiction exhibit, and I was wondering if they ended up in your office somehow?" he puffed as he caught up to us.

"You left them in the breakroom and I brought them back to your office," Isabel said shortly, pushing up her glasses. "They're on your desk."

"…Oh," the man said, his eyes wandering up to the ceiling. "Thank you, I would have gotten in a heap and a half of trouble if I had lost those."

He turned to us, giving us a wide grin and flashing us buckteeth. "Who are your friends?"

"This is Alex and Chris," Isabel said smoothly and I smiled at the man. "I'm just showing them around."

"Nice to meet you, Alex and Chris," the man said, shaking my hand and sticking his hand out for Winter to shake. Thankfully he was reaching for his right hand and Winter took it and nodded curtly. "I'm Tristian, and if you ever need to know anything about fossilized artifacts, I'm your guy."

Tristian's phone beeped and he let go of Winter's hand, checked it, and made a face.

"Oh heavens, I have a tour group waiting on me!" he exclaimed and sprinted off ahead of us. "I'll see you later, Isabel!"

Isabel had crossed her arms and I smirked at her as we moved on.

"He seems nice," I giggled and Isabel sighed.

"He's  _nice,_ " she scowled. "I'd like him more if he didn't think 'I'm Ace' meant 'Try harder'."

Isabel sighed, exasperated, and I laughed. "Poor dumb thing."

"I guess," Isabel mumbled.

The Smithsonian had just opened and we had to worm our way through several school trips that filled up the lobby. I briefly wished that I was one of them; young and carefree and about to enjoy a day away from school. Tristian was herding a group of wide eyed elementary schoolers around and he grinned at us as we walked by him.

Isabel led us to the right hall and I tried not to bump into anyone. Winter seemed to be getting tenser with every step that we took. There was a huge mural of Captain Rogers painted on the wall that we passed as we entered the exhibit.

There was a digital screen showing Captain Roger's transition from a short, skinny boy to the superhuman he was now. One wall was decorated with another mural showing seven men, led by Captain Rogers, and there were outfits on mannequins under their portraits.

Winter immediately walked past me to a glass screen with a picture of a solider on it. James Buchannan "Bucky" Barnes, it read underneath, March 10, 1917 to 1945. Winter was staring at the picture, and now that I looked at it, I realized that it was the same face that I had gone from being afraid of to being afraid for.

I moved through the people to stand next to Winter. A voice was telling us about how Captain Rogers and Bucky had been best friends and that he was the only 'Howling Commando' to give his life in service of his country. There were clips playing of a younger, short-haired Winter standing at Captain Rogers side and laughing with him.

"…Winter," I said softly, glancing at his face.

"That's me," he said, disbelieving. "I don't…"

I glanced up at the uniforms on the wall. Winter was painted there too, standing to the right of Captain Rogers.

"This is all that there is of you, I'm afraid, but it's a start," Isabel said, skirting around a little girl that was looking up at Winter's picture.

Winter didn't respond. The little girl reached up and touched the picture of Winter's face.

I thought that Winter would want to stay there and look around some more, but he didn't. He said he wanted to leave and I didn't argue. We passed by models of spaceships and satellites suspended in the air and I had just asked Winter what he wanted to do now when I realized that he wasn't beside me anymore.

I searched around, alarmed, until I saw him standing in front of a satellite model and I breathed a sigh of relief and weaved through the crowd to him.

"Do you want to go back to Isabel's and see what else we can dig up?" I asked him, nodding at Isabel from across the room and she started making her way over to us.

Winter didn't respond and I looked up at him. His face was blank and pale and his entire body was rigid. A spark of fear tugged at my stomach.

"Winter?" I asked, putting my hand on his arm.

He felt stiff like a wax model, staring intently at the satellite.

"Sputnik one was the first artificial Earth satellite," a speaker was explaining. "The Soviet Union launched it into an elliptical low Earth orbit on 4 October 1957 and…"

My stomach dropped when I realized what was wrong. Sputnik. SPUTNIK!

Winter was tottering, any second he would collapse to the ground. I whipped around to see Isabel standing next to me.

"Isabel, something's wrong!" I shouted. "Winter…!"

Winter toppled over and I felt as if it took a lifetime. I tried to catch him but he was too heavy and he pulled me down with him. I hastily moved to take his pulse and I realized that he didn't have one. His heart had stopped, eyes glassy and blank, fixed on nothing above me.

I heard an alarm blare from everywhere all at once and I looked up to see that Isabel had pulled a fire alarm on the wall next to us. Panic surged through the crowd and people started shoving each other to get to the exits and no one payed attention to us lying on the ground.

"What happened!?" Isabel exclaimed, kneeling next to us.

"His heart stopped!" I screamed over the pandemonium. "What do we do!?"

"Chest compressions!" Isabel shouted back. "We have to keep him breathing!"

"I don't know how to do that!" I screamed, hysteria taking over my thinking. "ISABEL HE'S GONNA DIE!"

Isabel pushed me out of the way and started pushing on his chest and counting under her breath.

"Pinch his nose shut and exhale into his mouth," Isabel instructed and I did.

He was so still… this wasn't right…

"Please, please, please, please _, please no,_ " I hissed, shaking his head. " _Winter please_."

In reality we were only keeping him breathing for about a minute, but those sixty seconds felt like eons. Winter gasped after two breaths and relief washed over me as he sat up and coughed.

"We need to get out of here!" Isabel shouted. "Can you stand?"

Winter leapt to his feet and grabbed my arm and we ran after Isabel. She led us out of the museum and back to her car and we raced back home, passing several firetrucks rushing to the Smithsonian.

At last, we made it back to Isabel's apartment and burst in the door, panting. Isabel immediately locked the door behind us and clutched the stitch in her chest. Winter staggered over to the couch and I slumped against the wall, shaking.

"That… could have gone better," Isabel panted.

"Winter?" I barked out, louder than I meant to and I tottered over to him.

He glanced up at me and shook his head. "Fine – I'm fine," he managed.

I swallowed, hard, and sank to the couch beside him.

 _You should have known_. Spat a voice inside of my head.  _Winter's not even been back for a day, and you allow this fiasco to happen. What if his heart hadn't started back up? He could have died and it would have been all your fault._

I was urgently tearing at my fingers again, ripping the bandages off and scratching at the already-raw skin.

 _How could you be so moronic?_ Hissed the voice. _He's going to leave again, just wait._

Winter reached out and clasped my hand and I looked up at him.

"What's the matter with your hands?" he asked quietly, frowning at me.

"…Nothing," I said thickly. "I just pick at them sometimes."

Winter's eyes dropped to my hands and he glared down at them.

"Why?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I - I don't know."

I heard Isabel typing and I glanced over to see her intently focused on her laptop in the armchair next to me. She peered at me over the top of her laptop and chewed her tongue fretfully. Winter was still holding my hand and I was trying my hardest not to let it shake.

There wasn't a lot of talking in Isabel's apartment the rest of the day, just Isabel's fingers on the keyboard and the tv that I switched on to distract myself. Winter was silent, musing over the information he had been given, reaching out every so often to stop me from ripping at my fingers.

I knew Winter wasn't going to find the answers he needed here in D.C. He was going to go back to where he used to live, go overseas to see where he died. And he had asked me to go with him. I wanted to. I wanted to so badly. I would just be dead weight to him, though. I wasn't strong. I didn't even know how to shoot a gun. Maybe I would even get him killed. I turned my head to watch him.

I caught his eye and he moved to look down at me.

"What?" he asked quietly.

My eyes drifted down to the ground and I shrugged halfheartedly. Winter kept his eyes on me though, and I looked back up at him.

I sighed softly and scooted a bit closer to him, pulling my knees up to my chest. His bionic arm felt warm and I wanted nothing more than to curl up next to him and sleep for a decade or two. Winter moved his hand slightly and brushed my leg with his thumb, still studying me. I smiled somewhat and put my chin on my knee. Well… he was here now, anyway.


	7. Kindness of Strangers

Isabel gave us all of the information that she dug up online the next morning. Every file on Winter had apparently been dumped onto the internet, along with every secret SHIELD or HYDRA had ever tried to keep, but they had been taken down within half an hour after they had been put up and every site that claimed they had the files wanted your credit card number.

Isabel said that she found the address of where Captain Rogers used to live in Brooklyn, at least, and it was said that Winter had used to live on the same block. They were the same buildings, they hadn't been changed in 75 years, but that part of town was run down and less favorable than it used to be. She gave us the coordinates of where Winter had supposedly died in the Alps. He had been drafted right after America joined WWII and he had gone through the ranks and became a Sergeant. Winter was in the 107th infantry when he was captured by HYDRA for the first time and they used him as labor to build their ships and they likely preformed experiments of some sort on him. Captain Rogers had saved him and 400 other men and after Winter fought alongside Captain Rogers, taking out HYDRA bases until he fell from a train on a cliff and 'died' in 1945.

"That was all I could find, I'm afraid," Isabel said, after she had told us this.

"Are-are you sure all of that was about Winter?" I stammered, trying not to stare at him.

Isabel shrugged and looked down at her laptop. "Everything seems be conclusive with him being James Barnes. All of the archives, all of the facts, what Captain Rogers said." Isabel frowned. "I wish I could have gotten ahold of those HYDRA files before they were taken down, though."

I regarded Winter with worry. He was glaring at the ground like he was trying to fit these pieces into the puzzle of his past.

"We need to go to Brooklyn," Winter mused.

"It's about five hours by car with no traffic," Isabel said instantly.

"Too bad we don't have a car," I added.

"That won't be a problem," Winter said, crossing his arms.

My eyes darted between Winter and Isabel.

"S-should we go now?" I asked. "Like  _right_  now, now?"

Was I ready to go now?

Winter nodded. "The sooner we go, the better."

It only took about ten minutes to get ready and to cram my clothes and the scraps of a project I had been working on into my duffel bag. Winter didn't have anything to pack, but Isabel traded him a bag with some clothes and things in it for a ghost of a smile and a rare 'thank you'.

"I'll call you wherever I can find a phone," I promised her, hugging her tightly.

Isabel squeezed me and my feet left the ground for a second. She set me back down and smiled sadly at me.

"Take care of each other, okay?" Isabel said thickly, pushing up her glasses in an attempt to seem unruffled.

I nodded and smiled, tears pricking my eyes.

It felt weird not getting into a car and driving off, we just walked down the street in the growing darkness and Isabel's apartment fell slowly behind us along with her and Poppy's silhouettes in the window.

"Do you think anyone will come after her because we were there?" I asked lowly, worry suddenly gripping my stomach in a vise.

"…I hope not," Winter replied.

We walked for about ten minutes until we found a poorly-lit parking lot and I tried to seem casual as I leaned against the brick wall of a nearby building while Winter worked on hot-wiring the car. The car rumbled to life and Winter jerked his head for me to get in. I scrambled in and slammed the door and we sped out of the parking lot.

We drove for two or so hours before I fell asleep.

I was startled awake by something that I couldn't figure out. It was pitch black outside and for a split second I saw a face in the darkness, thrown into sharp relief by the edge of the headlights, and I gasped and recoiled away from the window, putting my elbow in a drink that had been in the cup holder.

"What?" Winter instantly barked. "Stella, what is it?"

"I…" I gaped, staring out of the window. It had looked like a gaunt, skeletal face with eyes much bigger than any I had ever seen...

"I – I was just dreaming, I guess," I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.

"What did you see?" Winter persisted.

"It – I mean it looked like a face," I chuckled at myself, shifting around. "But it couldn't have been; it was too…  _grotesque_  to be a human face."

I glanced at Winter but he didn't seem at all convinced.

My eyes drifted to the clock. 2:47 am.

"We should be getting there soon," I said quietly, setting my feet up on the dashboard.

Winter watched me for a minute before looking back to the road. We drove in silence until the lights of towns could be seen through the darkness. The trees fell away and were replaced with towering buildings and I knew that we couldn't be far from Brooklyn.

"Where was the address, again?" Winter asked and I jerked out of my half slumber.

"Uh…" I yawned, checking the paper Isabel gave us. "It just says 'Brooklyn Heights' and 'Middagh Street'."

I almost said 'It's awfully late, wouldn't you rather just find a hotel and see it in the morning?' when I noticed the hard look on Winter's face. He was dead set on seeing it right now, so I could just suck it up and yawn for a bit longer.

We found the right street, nothing special, just a few burnt out street lamps and graffitied alleys. Winter seemed to know where he wanted to go now and he parked on the street in front of a looming, dark, dilapidated brick apartment building.

Winter got out of the car the second it was off and I hesitated, gripping a flashlight I had packed, wondering if the floors of this place would crumble under our feet. Winter came around and pulled my door open and waited for me, a shadow obscuring his face. I threw my duffel bag over my shoulder and eased out, hovering next to Winter as he stalked up to the skeleton of a building.

Winter went around the side of it to the right and I trailed close behind him. He ambled up a small porch and stood in front of one of the doors, silent. I peered around him. The door looked like it had once been very sturdy, but time had taken its toll on it. It was closed but it didn't look like it would be break down.

Winter moved to stand in front of a brick that was behind us and nudged it with his boot. I almost expected there to be a key underneath of it with the certainty that he had moved it, but there wasn't, just a spider that scurried away once it was disturbed.

Winter turned back and looked at the door. He gently tried the handle, but it was locked.

"It doesn't look like it would take a lot to knock the door down," I said softly.

Winter glanced away to look at the open area to our right.

"Wait here," he said quietly and leapt silently over the railing and disappeared around the side of the building.

Deafening silence settled and I felt nervousness stir my stomach as I glanced behind me. Something darted out of my line of sight when I turned around, but the poorly lit street was empty besides that. I clutched the flashlight a little tighter and backed up to get my back against the door. I bumped into something alive and definitely not the door and I gasped and recoiled, ready to bash something with my flashlight, but it was just Winter, standing in the open doorway and looking down at me strangely.

"I thought I saw something," I hissed, glancing behind me again.

Winter took my wrist and led me into the apartment, scanning the street.

"Stay close to me," he murmured.

My flashlight swept across the floor as we went inside and I noticed that this place wasn't quite as dirty as I had imagined it would be. It was a small apartment, it looked like it had one bedroom and one bathroom and it made Isabel's apartment look like a castle. There were wires and pipes sticking out of the floor where I guessed that sinks and appliances had once been at the far end of the room and there was a big x-eyed face spray painted on the living room wall.

"Footprints," Winter said lowly and I looked down at the ground.

"Maybe they're just from some homeless people," I replied in a hushed voice, my flashlight sweeping across the floor and the walls.

Winter's head jerked to the side and he stared out of the window. "Maybe."

Winter lumbered around the tiny apartment and I couldn't help but think about how much he looked like a spirit in the darkness. He wandered around for an hour in complete silence and I was yawning more and more and I was having trouble keeping my eyes open. I sat down against the wall in the living room under the graffiti and rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands. I must have dozed off because I jerked my head up to see dusty daylight and Winter sitting in the middle of the room, facing the opposite wall.

"Winter?" I asked, sleep slurring my voice.

He didn't respond and I pushed myself to my feet and padded over to him.

Winter was staring at the brick wall, and the look on his face reminded me of how he looked right after he had fought Captain Rogers for the first time and recognized him; it was like he was in an altogether different place. I gently sank down to kneel next to him and I reached out to put my hand on his arm. He didn't react.

Winter stayed like that for most of the day, unmoving and mute.

I decided to let him be and I dug the bits and pieces of scrap I had been tinkering with out of my bag. Ideally, we needed a thing to watch out for us, something to protect us when we couldn't stay awake. I wanted to create some sort of guardian, but I didn't know how I would be able to with my very limited resources. For now it was just a dream, something to distract me from the way Winter was staring straight through the wall.

My stomach started to growl in the afternoon, but I didn't want to leave Winter. I didn't like this abandoned apartment filled with ghosts and dust. I heard glass break somewhere outside and my hand slipped on the hardware I was working on and I jabbed my hand with a screwdriver.

" _Shit_!" I hissed and I my eyes jumped up to the boarded up window. A shadow passed across the streaks of light leaking through the wooden planks. I gripped Winter's arm, but he might as well have been made of stone.

I froze and barley dared to breathe. As silently as I could, I padded up to the window and squinted out through the gaps in the wood. There wasn't anyone that I could see. I stood watch for a bit, my stomach in a tightening vise of unease. My hand was bleeding where the screwdriver had cut me and I ripped up my fingers with my nails, smearing the blood everywhere.

Taking a steadying breath, I took a step back from the window, deciding that it was nothing. I turned around to look at Winter and my stomach dropped when I realized that he wasn't the only one in the room.

I couldn't even gasp before the shadow of a person took off, giggling, and darted into the one bedroom and slammed the door. The scream I let out jarred Winter beside me and I fell backwards, the concrete floor biting into my palms.

"Stella?" Winter barked, leaping to his feet.

" _There's-someone-in-the-bedroom_!" I hissed out, pointing at the door in terror.

Winter's eyes darted up to the door and he eased a gun out of his belt and pointed it at the door. He moved across the room to the door without making a sound and paused at it. My heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest and run away. He kicked the door in with an earsplitting crash and whipped his gun around the bedroom, scanning the inside with wild eyes. He relaxed after a minute and turned to look at me, narrowing his eyes.

"They're gone," he said quietly. "Must've gone out the window."

I let out the breath I was holding and I pushed myself to my feet and inched toward him. He was right, there wasn't anyone behind him inside of the room and the dusty window had been pried open.

We left immediately after that, I didn't feel safe there to begin with, and Winter seemed like he was ready to go. We decided to stay at a hotel while we figured out what to do next. Winter waited in the car while I got the hotel room; I was a lot less noticeable than he was.

"Second floor, I think it's number…" I dug the key card out of my pocket. "256."

Winter nodded and parked the car.

I was ecstatic to have a bed to sleep in tonight, dusty as it was, and I dropped my duffel bag onto the bed closest to the window and flopped down onto it.

"There's two beds," Winter said, lingering in the doorway.

I lifted my head up from the bed, raising one eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, I figured you wouldn't want to share a bed," I replied.

Winter's eyes darted to the window, the open curtains letting sunlight in.

"That's noticeable, it would have been better to have just gotten one with one bed," he clipped, marching across the room and throwing the curtains closed. "I won't sleep anyway."

I sat up and looked at him, somewhat stung.

"Where's your laptop?" Winter asked, glancing around the apartment and not at me.

I dug it out of my bag and handed it to him. He snatched it from me and sat down at the little table in the corner of the room and turned it on, fixated on the screen. I watched him for a minute, irritated. When was the last time he had even used a laptop?

"I'm gonna take a shower," I mumbled and I closed the bathroom door.

Winter stayed on my laptop all day, doing god knows what, and I just decided to mess with the hardware I had been working with the day before. I was trying to create a sensory apparatus, but for now all it did was turn from blue to red if I got within a foot of it.

Winter was right about not going to sleep, I didn't know how much longer he could go without it.

"You must be tired by now?" I asked the next day as he drove us around in our stolen car. "You haven't slept in days…"

"I'm fine," he insisted, despite the growing bruises under his eyes.

"You have to sleep sometime," I went on. "It'd be better to sleep while we're relatively safe than to collapse from exhaustion when something really happens, wouldn't –"

"I said I'm fine," Winter growled and I felt blood rush to my face.

We didn't talk much for a few days, we just drifted from motel to grimy motel. He refused to sleep. Winter said that he had something that he needed to take care of, and that he would need the car. He said that I would be safer if I wasn't with him and if I was moving around, so he dropped me off at a mall and told me that he would meet me back outside by a specific tree in three hours. I nodded and went into the mall to get out of the cold autumn wind and I felt guilty for being so relieved to get away from Winter's heavy silence for a bit.

I immediately wandered into an electronics store that was on the top floor and looked at what they had. Nothing that I needed, but I still liked looking.

I wandered lazily around, looking at the stores. I sat next to the large fountain in the middle of the mall and worked on sketches for a while. I found a candle in a store that smelled strikingly similar to the way Winter smelled when he wasn't sweaty. I smelled a bunch of different candles and I glanced up out of the window to I met eyes with someone and my stomach did a complete back flip.

It was Captain Rogers.

I ducked behind one of the tables instantly, praying that he hadn't recognized me, earning a disproving look from one of the employees. I ignored her and crept around to the other half of the store that was all beauty products and I saw Captain Rogers and a black man walking with purpose into the candle store. I noted that he looked familiar, but I couldn't think of why in my panic.

_Oh god please no._

I darted out of the store as soon as they went into the other side and I tried to force myself to walk and not sprint, my eyes darting wildly around for somewhere,  _anywhere_  to hide.

My eyes found a women's restroom and I scurried towards it and I heard someone shout "Hey!" behind me as I bolted inside of the door.

I tried to not gasp when I slammed the door behind me and I walked to the corner on the other side of the sinks. There weren't any windows in the bathroom. Oh god. I was trapped. I covered my mouth and tried to stop myself from crying, fear twisting my stomach. What were they going to do when they caught me…?

I shouldn't have to be this scared of him, he was likely friends with Winter once. Winter had changed since then though, and it was more than likely that he had too.

Three pretty black girls walked in and I tried to force myself to stop making a scene as they went up to the mirrors.

"What the hell was up with those guys?" one of the girls said, leaning over the sink.

I stopped listening, my blood pounding in my ears. This was it. I was cornered like a rat in a cage. At least Winter wasn't here.

"Babe are you alright?" I realized one of the girls was asking me and all three of them had looked away from the mirrors and they were studying me.

I lowered my hand and wiped my eyes with my sleeve.

"T-those two guys out there are looking for me-" I quaked. "I don't know what to do…"

The three girls looked at each other, anger hardening their faces.

"Okay, listen to me honey," one of the girls, the shortest one, said in a soothing voice. "We're gonna go out there and distract those boys and you're gonna run the opposite way and take a long hallway to the left, okay? It'll spit you out right by the food court and you're gonna run up to the Chick-fil-A. Tell them Kourtney sent you, and you gotta hide, and they'll let you stay there until it's safe for you to go, alright?"

I nodded, my knees feeling weak.

"Okay," said one of the other girls, walking up to me, her high heels clicking on the tile floor. "If all of it goes to hell, you jab em and you run like hell, okay?"

She handed me a small knife with a sharp blade and a pink handle.

I nodded, unable to speak, and the girls shared a look of determination and it occurred to me that this probably wasn't the first time they had found a girl scared for her life cowering in a bathroom.

They swept out and I darted over to the door and listened. I heard arguing and I cracked the door open. The girls were lividly quarreling with Captain Rogers and the other man and I took this as my chance to escape.

I tore out of the bathroom and sprinted down the hallway at full speed, not even daring to look back. I ran as hard as I could and threw myself down the left hallway. My lungs burned and my feet hurt with every slap against the polished floor, but I kept running. I ended up right in front of the Chick-fil-A and I ran up to the counter, panting and out of breath, and the older woman behind the counter stared at me in surprise.

"Kourtney – sent me – I need to – hide –" I panted. "Please –!"

The woman nodded and hissed at me to jump over the counter. I did and she immediately swept me out of sight and behind some of the machines.

"Stay here honey," she instructed and I nodded, too out of breath to say anything before she walked casually back to the counter.

I sank down to sit on the floor, praying to whoever that Captain Rogers wouldn't find me here.

"What does the guy look like?" A different girl asked me and I jumped.

"Uh t-tall, blonde, muscular, the other guy's black and he's muscular too," I stammered.

The girl glanced up and peered over one of the machines.

"Is one in a gray t shirt and the other in a red jacket?" she asked and my heart clenched in terror.

"Yes," I whispered, and the girl nodded. She went back to making waffle fries a few feet away from me.

I stayed in the corner of that Chick-fil-A for what felt like an eternity, closing my eyes and praying that they would pass by.

"They're gone, honey," the original woman said, walking back behind the machines to talk to me. "I sent 'em toward the top level."

I breathed a sigh of immense relief. "Oh, thank you."

"No problem," she said, giving me a sad smile. "You better scoot before they come back though."

I scrambled to my feet and nodded. She led me to the back of the restaurant and out of a back exit.

"T-thank you so much," I blubbered, tears forming in my eyes. "Really, thank you so much."

"No problem, honey," the woman said, giving me a comforting hug. "Do you have some place to go?"

I glanced at the clock on the wall. Winter was probably waiting for me.

"Yeah I have someone waiting for me," I sniffled.

"Go on then," the woman insisted kindly.

I thanked her again, overwhelmed by the kindness of these strangers and she gave me a knowing, sad smile and I ducked out of the back door.

I hauled ass over to the tree I was supposed to meet Winter under and sure enough he was there, leaning against it, his face tilted to the ground. He looked up when I approached him and his expression immediately hardened when he saw how panicked I was.

"Captain Rogers is here we need to leave  _now,_ " I blurted out before he could say anything.

His eyes widened and he scanned the parking lot behind me and his arm snaked around my back and we hurried to the car and slammed the doors and sped off.


	8. Priestess of Hera

We got the hell out of Brooklyn after that.

Winter fussed over me for a while, showing genuine concern for me, and it made me feel a lot better. We stayed in New York, careful not to wander past the outskirts of any city, sleeping in dusty motels that had cracks in the walls and smelled like cigarettes.

Winter eventually did fall asleep a week after I had run into with Captain Rogers; I just woke up in the middle of the night to him snoring beside me face down on the bed. I grinned to myself, threw a blanket over him, and fell back asleep.

Winter would drift back into his mind sometimes, every once in a while he would just sit down on a bench while we were out walking or I'd wake up to him sitting in a chair and staring at the motel wall and he wouldn't move for a few hours. I usually just sat next to him and worked on my creation that was growing bigger every time I got my hands on something from a junk yard or when Winter came back from wandering around with bits and pieces of things that I knew full well that he was stealing.

It was November when the incident happened. It was plastered all over the news, all of the stores closed and no one dared venture out onto the streets.

Tony Stark, one of the Avengers, had created a robot with artificial intelligence and it had turned on him. The robot, called Ultron, built itself an army and used it to lift an entire city in Sokovia into the sky. Winter and I couldn't do anything but watch on the small, fuzzy screen of the tv in our motel room as the Avengers fought against Ulrton's robots, but it seemed hopeless. The city was large enough that when it dropped it was going to kill hundreds of thousands of people in Europe. Along with Captain Rogers.

Winter wanted to find somewhere safer, but I told him that there wasn't a point. If Ultron won we wouldn't be safe anywhere. I remember that I was squeezing Winter's hand when the footage showed the city exploding in the air, raining down buildings and masses of rock into the forests and water surrounding the crater where the city used to sit. People had been killed, a lot of people, but not nearly as many as would have died had the Avengers not defeated Ultron. I cried out of relief, burying my head in Winter's shoulder.

In wake of the city being destroyed, a lot of political leaders lashed out at the Avengers, and I remember Winter staying up late, fixated on the screen, as the secretary of state complained about Captain Rogers, blaming the fall of the helicarriers in D.C. on him and now this.

"Captain Rogers saved a lot of people," I mumbled, curled up in a blanket on the bed behind where Winter was sitting. "They can't think anyone's buying this, can they?"

I, personally, was afraid of Captain Rogers with everything I had in me, because he was going to stop at nothing to find Winter and I didn't know how that was going to bode for either of us. He seemed to be a good man, as all of Winter and my research pointed out, but we couldn't trust him.

One of the Avengers had died in the accident, a man named Pietro Maximoff. He and his sister, Wanda, were superhumans; he had impossible speed and she seemed to be telekinetic. That was literally all that was said of their powers on the news, but the same politician that had bashed Captain Rogers spat that they were abominations and that the surviving sister and others like her needed to be thrown in prison or heavily monitored and kept away from civilization at the very least. There were pictures online of shabby memorials built in Pietro's memory out of stuffed animals, candles, and flowers. He had saved a lot of people, and no matter what anyone said, it didn't seem like people were going to forget that.

Christmas Eve came without me realizing it until I saw the date on a newspaper when Winter and I were out walking. The motel we were staying in at the time was next to an old church with a tall, dark bell tower and on Christmas Eve at midnight, I walked outside and stared up at the tower, its loud bells announcing that Christmas was here. Snow was falling in big, fluffy clusters and the streetlights of the town made the sky a bright orange. My face split into a grin as I looked up into the sky and the falling snow kissed my face and I laughed, loudly and freely for the first time since we had left Isabel's. I fell backwards into the snow, happy to feel the cold padding of it beneath me and I couldn't wipe the grin off of my face as I stared into the sky and watched the snow fall. The bells stopped, fading and echoing through the town for a minute, and then everything was quiet again.

Winter appeared above me, looking down at me curiously and I chuckled and held my hands up for him to pull me up. He hoisted me up out of the snow and I just looked at him for a minute in the silence disturbed only by the soft sound of the snow piling up. He gently brushed the snow out of my short hair and I smiled contently. I stood on my toes to gently kiss his scruffy cheek and my heart thudded loudly.

"Merry Christmas, Winter," I hummed softly, leaning into him.

He looked down at me, eyebrows raised in surprise. A small smile spread across his face. "Merry Christmas, Stella," he said quietly.

We stood outside in the quiet cold air until I couldn't feel my fingers and then we went back inside. I sat in the rickety motel chair in front of the window and watched the snow fall until I couldn't stay awake anymore. Winter was already fast asleep and I only hesitated a minute before I crawled under the covers and curled up next to him, feeling warm and safe.

January went by without incident.

The robot I had been working on was coming along alright; the circuits and inner wiring of it were working fine, but… the thing didn't have any framing or a body of any sort. I had named it Io. I wanted to go to a scrapyard of some kind and find some pieces to make my creation's body out of, but there didn't seem to be anything like that around where we were drifting through.

I all but forgot about the strange shadows and faces I had seen the day we went to Captain Roger's previous apartment.

Winter told me that he was going away for a short time, and by now I was used to him leaving for a couple days.

"Be careful," I told him, pulling his hair out of his face for him.

He smiled down at me. "I always am."

I lounged around the hotel room for a few days, rewiring things that didn't need rewired in the inner mechanics of what was almost a robot. If Io had had a body it would have been ready to go; it had an apparatus that allowed it to detect smells, it was wired to be friendly to Winter and I exclusively unless I ordered it otherwise, it responded to my commands as much as it could.

I didn't start to worry until the third day when we had arranged to move from the motel to another one.

I left the motel casually; Winter had taken the car, so I was left to carry my duffel bag down the road with me.

It was cold outside, but it wasn't too bad. It was snowing lightly, but there wasn't any wind. I had enough layers on to keep me warm for a while.

We had planned for this though; if Winter didn't come back before I had to leave the motel, we were going to meet up in an abandoned barn in the woods.

I waited there for two more days, eating the protein bars I had brought with me and keeping a very small fire going just enough so that it could keep me warm. There was no sign of Winter. Worry was snapping at my stomach now; Winter knew when I would have to leave the motel and it wasn't like him to let me wait for him this long. The longest he had been gone had been four days.

Two more days. Nothing. I jumped at every creak in the old wood of my shelter and I felt like I was being watched from the woods.

I couldn't deny it any longer. Something had happened to Winter. It had been a full week now.

I didn't know where to  _begin_  to look for him. He could have gone anywhere; I didn't even know what direction to head even if I mustered up the courage to hitchhike.

But I couldn't just sit here. I had to do  _something_.

I left a note on a piece of paper for him on the off chance that he came back here that read:  _I'm safe and I've gone out looking for you. I'm headed north and I probably wont make it far without a car. – Stella_

I did end up convincing a truck driver to let me ride with her for a few towns. I wasn't intimidating in the slightest and it was February now, so I hoped that I could lean on the sympathy of strangers to get me to where I needed to go, at least for a short time.

By some miracle the trucker stopped in a town with a huge scrapyard on the outskirts of it and I felt hope flutter in my chest.

I had just enough cash on me to rent a motel room for two days if I didn't eat anything.

The second it was dark enough I whisked out of my motel room, leaving most of my clothes and the tools I had collected, some from Winter's thieving and some from my own, in the hotel room. I took what little food I had left, my room key, and the wires and boxes of mechanisms that was Io.

The scrap yard was four or five miles away from my motel and I cursed the cold as I walked. I didn't think that I would die or anything, my nose was just cold and runny. At least it wasn't sleeting or anything.

My feet ached by the time that I got there, but I had more important things to worry about. The barbed wire fence surrounding the place was somewhat run down and it wasn't hard to find a hole in the bottom of it big enough for me to squeeze through.

I didn't turn my flashlight on in case someone would see it, but it was so dark that I couldn't do what I needed without light. I smushed my hand over the lens of the flashlight so that I could just barely see the piles of junk that I was looking at.

It wasn't hard to find things that I could use; there were plenty of sturdy pipes and thick pieces of steel and lead were lying all over the place, I just didn't know how I would lug it back to the motel. I ended up making a ramshackle cart with metal disks for wheels; it certainly wasn't ideal, but it was better than nothing.

I piled things onto it that I thought I could make use of and hauled the cart to the fence. I had to take everything off of the cart in order to wretch it under the fence and it took me fifteen minutes to coax the largest piece of warped metal through the hole.

I hauled it all back the way I had come, my fingers cut in a bunch of different places and numb from the cold, but my determination kept me going. I stayed away from the road enough so that no passing cars would easily see me, which made the journey a lot tougher.

I made it back in twice the time that it had taken to get there, and by the time I pushed through the door of my motel room it was 3 am.

I collapsed on the bed, exhausted, cold, and filthy, and immediately fell asleep.

The next morning I automatically reaching out for Winter, but he wasn't there and dread clenched my stomach.

I sat up and looked at the pile of scrap in the corner of the room. How was I going to put Io's body together? I didn't have  _any_  of the tools I needed to actually do anything that needed done.

I got up and paced around, nervousness latching onto my stomach. Who knows what pain Winter could be in while I just sat here.

A blowtorch and a welding mask were the bare essentials of what I needed to put Io together, but this town didn't have a hardware store, so buying them was out of the question even if I did have money… My eyes flickered to the gun Winter had given me poking out of my duffel bag. Maybe I could rob a hardware store? Or use someone's workshop at gunpoint?

I huffed in anger at myself at the thought. I had to think of something else, and quickly.

I glanced at the TV. The local news was on, some segment about a teenager that had run away from home a few towns over.

"Lucas is a big boy, big enough to be the best in his little  _shop_   _class_ , but he ain't as big as he thinks he is," a woman with missing teeth was nonchalantly telling the camera. "Don't doubt that he's alright, but he's dead wrong if he thinks he can make it on his own."

The screen broke off to a picture of a thickly muscled boy covered in freckles with a phone number underneath, urging anyone who had information on him to contact the number or call 911. I frowned, briefly hoping that no one contacted the number; something about that woman seemed not quite right, like she didn't really care that her son was missing.

I glanced back down at my bruised, cut up hands, when a thought hit me like a train.

The woman had said something about shop class. Shop classes usually had blowtorches and power saws and all of the tools that I desperately needed, and likely, the high school just up the road from my motel would have one!

"Oh my god!" I hissed out loud, slapping myself on the forehead.

That would be  _perfect_  if I could manage to break into the high school! I laughed out loud and clapped my hands together, grinning like a maniac at the TV screen. This was working out. Once I had Io up and running, I'd be able to find Winter!

It seemed like it took forever for the day to pass; I would have to wait until well into the night before I dared to get close to the school.

I put together diagrams of exactly what I wanted to do, so that hopefully, I would be able to get in, build Io's body, and get out without being noticed. Although power tools weren't exactly quiet… It was a feeble plan, admittedly, but it was all I had.

I realized that I had gotten so cold and cross in the scrapyard the previous night that I hadn't gotten all of the parts that I had needed. I cursed myself for not being thorough enough, now I would have to go all the way back in the cold and then walk back to the motel and drag all of the parts to the high school.

Thinking of the long, cold journey ahead of me, I begrudgingly packed myself up to go back to the scrapyard just after the sun had set. I couldn't risk going to the school yet anyway, and at least this way I would have something else to think about for a little while.

I dragged the stupid inconvenient cart behind me through the snow again and I wormed through the hole in the fence. Again.

This time I was looking for bits of sharp metal; Io needed at least three rows of teeth if it was going to be able to defend us the way that I wanted it to.

I threw the pieces that I found into my bag and I was digging some more beams that would help support Io's frame out of a scrap pile, when I heard something behind me. Thoughts of HYDRA agents flashed through my head and I whipped out the gun I had in my bag, aiming it wildly behind me at the noise.

"WOAH WOAH WOAH!" a voice shouted and I saw a dark figure throw their hands into the air. "I'm not doing anything! I'm just scrounging around, I know the people that own this place; I'm allowed to be here, go ask!"

My gun stayed trained on the figure and my eyes narrowed. I hoped they couldn't see how much the gun was shaking. The person pulled their hood off and through the faint light of a distant streetlight, I saw that it was just a kid; he couldn't have been older than sixteen regardless of his large size. I sighed in relief and lowered the gun.

"I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else," I apologized, putting the safety on the gun but keeping it in my hand.

"Well, I'm glad I'm not whoever you thought I was," the teenager said and I went back to looting through the piles of scrap, keeping an eye on the teenager. I didn't have time for this.

I didn't say anything but the kid didn't go away and I looked over my shoulder at him.

"Don't you have homework to be doing or something?" I said impatiently. He scuffed his feet in the dirty snow, not looking at me.

I stopped digging through the rubble as realization dawned on me.

"You're that kid that ran away from home, aren't you?" I asked and he instantly jumped to defend himself.

"What, are you gonna call the cops?" he stammered. "Cuz, you're trespassing  _and_  stealing, so they'd just arrest you too!"

I just stared at him for a minute.

"…I had to run away from home, too," I said quietly. "The cops would be more than happy to find me, happier than they'd be to find you."

"Oh," the teenager, who I remembered the newscast had said was named Lucas, said. "Are you a criminal?"

I opened my mouth to lie, that no, I wasn't, but he interrupted me as he laughed to himself.

"Nah, who am I kidding? There's no way you're a serious criminal," he chuckled. "You look too nice."

I rolled my eyes and went back to searching, finding a nice curved piece that would make an excellent tooth or claw.

"Hey..." I said, turning around to the boy again. "I'm looking for someone, actually. He's like 5'10'' or so, long brown hair and a scruffy face. He looks homeless, sort of, but he's really muscular."

Lucas knitted his eyebrows together. "No, I haven't seen anyone like that around here."

"Oh," I said, kicking myself for getting my hopes up.

"What are you doing out here in the cold anyway?" I asked Lucas. "Don't you have a friend you can stay with?"

"Yeah, I'm staying with a friend in town," Lucas said. "Why are  _you_  out here?"

"That's complicated and you'd be better off not knowing," I said, wrenching a large piece of metal up to check underneath of it.

The kid was quiet for a minute.

"I think… that I have everything I need," I said, half to myself as I stood up. "I need to go now, but uh, be safe," I told Lucas, throwing my bag over my shoulder.

"Where are you going?" Lucas asked curiously, following after me.

I eyed him over my shoulder. Even if he told someone about me, he didn't know who I was. He probably didn't even know what HYDRA was. But HYDRA was very thorough…

"Nowhere," I said. "Do yourself a favor and go back home."

"…I don't want to," Lucas said, stopping.

"Why not?" I asked, distracted.

He stared at the ground. "My momma beats me. A lot."

I stopped in my tracks and turned around to look at him.

Lucas was a large kid, he looked like he weighed 200 pounds at least. And now that I looked at him, I noticed that his nose looked crooked like it had been broken and then healed up and two puffy, black, scared eyes.

"I'm sorry…" I said quietly. "…My mom used to beat me too."

It was a lie. My parents had been nice, albeit distant. They hardly said anything when I left home to go to Stanford. But I felt like if I lied to establish a connection with his boy, he'd be less likely to tell anyone that he would be more likely to lie on my behalf. A shitty thing to do, yes, but it was the safest option.

Lucas nodded, his eyes falling to the ground. "Is that what you meant when you said you ran away from home, too?"

"No…" I said, crossing my arms. "There are…  _bad_ , people following me and a friend of mine. I don't know what happened to him either, they might have caught him."

I looked into Lucas's grimy face. "I'm trying to find him."

"I'm here because I'm building a robot that can hopefully help me find him, but I have to build its body first, and I'm going to try and break into the high school to use their garage or something to help me do it."

"How are you gonna get there?" he asked instantly.

"I'm going to walk, I don't have any other option."

"My friend has a truck," Lucas piped up. "She could drive us."

He must have seem the doubt on my face, because he assured me that his friend was apt at breaking and entering, but that didn't exactly calm my nerves. However, fifteen minutes later, I was in the back seat of a battered pickup truck that smelled strongly of pot, and Lucas's friend was driving us to the high school without the headlights on. Lucas worried that we would get caught, while his friend, Josie, insisted that she would make sure that we didn't, because if they were caught she would be violating parole and she would be sent back to juvenile detention. Josie seemed to think that this was comforting, but I didn't find it so.

Josie pulled up to the side of the high school to a garage door and she got out and lit a cigarette, motioning for us to stay in the car for a minute. She was gone for a few tense minutes, but then she reappeared and simply fit a key into a door by the garage door and motioned for us to follow her inside.

"Don't turn the lights on," she said, walking into the middle of the room and turning a single lightbulb on that was at the end of an extension cord, one that you could hook onto something. There were four tables in the room, and I felt hope stir in my chest.

"Whatcha need, sis?" she asked, walking to stand next to me as Lucas got the scraps out of the truck.

"A blow torch and a welding mask for starters," I said quietly and she nodded and walked away.

An hour later I was in my element, shaping my robot out of the scraps. It wasn't quiet work, but Josie said that the walls were sound proof. I didn't know if I believed her.

I crafted Io's head to look like a wolf skull with three rows of sharp, rotating teeth. Lucas hovered over me as I worked, fascinated, and although it annoyed me, I felt like it was the least I could do to let him watch what I was doing. After several hours of hard work, I was drenched in sweat and I was shaking, but I had done it.

Io looked up at me with blue lights for eyes, her head tilted curiously. She was the size and build of a wolf with chunky and mismatched plates covering her body. She had clawed feet and strong, fast legs made out of several pipes and beams each, and I glowed with pride looking down at her.

"That's amazing," Lucas said in awe, staring down at her and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"No threats here, Io," I told her. She blinked and sat down, opening her mouth slightly.

"What do you call this fucking thing?" Josie asked, looking thoroughly impressed, an expression that probably didn't often cross her features.

"Her name is Io, like the moon or the Greek priestess of Hera," I said, leaning down to look into her blue eyes, not even minding that Josie asked Io's name right after I had said it. Io wasn't perfect, but she had a nasty set of teeth and if I gave her a sample of what Winter smelled like, hopefully,  _hopefully_ , she would be able to find him.

Josie looked up, seeming startled.

"If you're done, let's get the shit out of here," she hissed.

I loaded Io into the back of the truck along with the scraps that I hadn't used and I threw a tarp over it all and hopefully we had cleaned up convincingly enough that no one would know that we had been there.

Our plan started to fall apart when we got pulled over by a cop. I felt like I was going to vomit and Josie and Lucas had a heated exchange in whispers in the front seat.

" _Just chill the fuck out_!" Josie hissed right as the cop walked up to the window.

"Do you know why I pulled you over, Josie?" the cop asked, frowning at her.

"No, Mr. Baker, I don't," Josie said sweetly.

"Well your right tail light's out, but now that I know it's you, you're also violating curfew," he said, looking down at his pen pad.

"I have an adult with me, though," she protested, jerking her head back to me. "She's my aunt. We just wanted some late-night drive through from Kirkland, sir."

The cop glanced back at me, frowning.

"I'm sorry, sir," I said, trying not to let my voice crack. "She's right, I'm her Aunt Stella; we were –"

"Can I see some ID ma'am?" the cop asked me coldly.

I nodded and fumbled for my wallet and I handed my driver's license to the officer. He squinted at the rectangle of plastic. He sighed and handed it back to Josie.

"Well, fine," he said, straightening his sunglasses that he was wearing at four in the morning. "But you're still getting a ticket for your tail light."

I dared to breathe again after he had given a ticket to Josie and driven away.

"I hate that fucking guy.  _A hundred fucking bucks_!" Josie moaned. "Although, that could have been a  _lot_  fucking worse."

"I feel sick," Lucas mumbled and I put my forehead on the back of the seat in front of me.

"Hey, it's fine man," Josie said, hitting his arm. "He didn't see the fucking robot dog in the back and he didn't drag you back to your parents, so this whole thing was successful as fuck."

Josie dropped me off at the motel and I thanked her and Lucas vehemently.

"I just hope no feds come after you, cuz I fucking hate messing with feds," Josie laughed and I laughed too and privately thought that it wasn't unlikely to happen.

I packed up all of the things in my room, and I dropped off my room key to a very tired man at the front desk. I wanted to get away from this town as quickly as possible, but I couldn't walk… I ended up scaring someone out of their keys by having Io bark and growl threateningly at them, which I wasn't proud of, but I didn't have any other choice.

We left the little town, not daring to go over the speed limit, and I headed back to the last place that I had been with Winter. We stopped outside of the motel room I had last seen Winter in, early in the morning before dawn. I dug Winter's shirt that I had sealed in a plastic bag out of my duffel bag and I let Io inspect it.

"Track this," I told her, and she picked the shirt up in her mouth and swallowed it to hold it in the apparatus that detected smells that was in her throat.

She tasted the air and put her skeletal snout to the ground, her mouth open to detect any sign of Winter. Thankfully no new snow had fallen since I has last been here and Io picked up a trail almost immediately.

Io chirped that he had headed south and that struck me as odd. Her tracking mechanism was so precise that it didn't matter that Winter had left in a car, she was still able to direct me where to go. We stopped in Albany and Io led me to a seedy part of town to a warehouse. She stopped inside, looking around for a minute, and I held my breath.

"The target is no longer here, the scent is four days old," she informed me, sitting down and staring up at me, her blue LED eyes glowing out of her skeletal face expectantly.

 _Four days_. He could be anywhere. I tore at my thumbs with the sudden worry that he had gotten on a plane. There was no way we could track him if he had flown overseas…

"There were others with the target," Io told me, still snuffling around. "And there were two more men here two days ago."

My blood turned to ice. Someone had him and I wasn't the only one looking for him.

"Where does the scent go next?" I asked her and she trotted to the door.

Io and I followed the trail for several days, but Winter never stayed anywhere for very long. We found blood splattered on the floor in one of the locations and felt the vice of panic tighten around my stomach.

I dropped to my knees as Io sniffed it and she confirmed that it was, in fact, Winter's blood. I just sat there and watched her numbly as she scraped at the blood stained concrete and picked up a sample in her jaws.

I heard something brush across the pavement of the abandoned building behind me and I felt the back of my neck prickle. Io whipped around and bared her teeth and I scrambled to my feet to face whatever was behind me.

At first I didn't see anything, just the sunbeams of weak winter light across the dusty concrete floor, but after a minute I realized that there was a face peering out of the darkness at me, a horrible, skeletal face with huge, unblinking eyes.

The person jerked, as if they knew that I had realized they were there and they tore out of the building, their heavy footsteps breaking the silence.

Io charged after them immediately, and I just gawked after them. That was the same face. The same face I had seen months ago with Winter, right after we had left Isabel's apartment. Whoever it was, had been  _following me all this time_.

Io came back a few minutes later to inform me that the person had escaped and I felt my hand find my gun at my hips.

"Be on guard, Io," I said softly. "Let's get out of here."

We hastily got into the silver car that we had stolen a few days ago, (of course we changed vehicles every few days, just in case) and we sped off.

"How old is the blood, Io?" I asked after we had found a motel for the night. I usually just found a truck stop and slept in the car; it was cheaper than motels every night, but I couldn't stand to spend a sleepless night glancing out of the windows tonight.

"22 hours old," Io said in her robotic voice. I nodded. We were getting closer anyway…

I felt guilty not being out searching, but that thing had frightened me enough that I didn't want to for a while. I thought that I wouldn't be able to sleep, but I was so exhausted that the instant my head hit the pillow I was out.

A low growl startled me awake a few hours later and I sat up to see Io's eyes gleaming in the darkness. Fear clenched my stomach and I fumbled for the light. The lamp flickered on and I realized that Io was growling at me, her jaws bared as her eyes bored into me.

"Io it's me," I said, unnerved.

"No," she said, pacing slowly at the end of my bed.

I swallowed hard and watched her for a second, terror growing in my stomach. After a minute I realized that she wasn't looking at me… she was looking  _above_  me…

My eyes slowly moved up to the ceiling and I was paralyzed in fear.

There was that skeletal, horrible thing, perched on the ceiling like a spider. They didn't move; they just stared down at me, an inhumanly large grin spread across their face. Through my horror I realized that they were actually wearing a mask, one that gave them the appearance of having a boney face and horrible teeth and eyes. It was a very convincing mask and my fear wasn't relieved knowing that they weren't a ghoul.

"What do you want?" I quaked, trembling down in my bed.

The person giggled and Io's growling grew louder.

Suddenly my light went out and Io jumped up onto the bed, snapping at the ceiling and I fell out of the bed onto the floor, wildly groping for my gun in the dark. I managed to get the light back on after a few gut wrenching seconds, but the person was gone.

Io sniffed all around, throwing glances at the ceiling in confusion. The window was open, the freezing air blowing the curtains around. I got up and slammed the window shut, my heart pounding, and I sank to the floor under the window.

"Are they gone?" I whispered and Io glanced up from the ground.

"They are gone," she affirmed and went back to sniffing around.

I tried to get my heart to stop leaping around like a scared rabbit and I glanced at the mirror across from me.

There was a yellow sticky note attached to it that read "See you soon".


	9. My New Shadow

I didn't sleep for three days. I couldn't stop shaking. I followed where Io led me, but the trail just spiraled from one empty building to another.

I thought that I saw the masked person who was following me in a crowd going across the road as I was stopped at a red light, leering at me out of the group of people. It wasn't them though, it was a kid wearing a bandana over his mouth with the print of a grinning skeleton mouth on it. I drove for three hours straight after that, my knuckles white as I gripped the steering wheel.

Was I going crazy? Maybe I wasn't really being followed at all, I tried to convince myself; maybe I was just seeing things because I was so tired. I knew better though. I  _had_  seen it, staring down at me from the ceiling of that motel room like I was a little moth in its horrible web.

Io told me that the person hadn't had a traceable scent; that they left no evidence behind of their presence. That didn't make me feel better.

After a week of running, steeped in fear and fueled by as much coffee as I could get my hands on, I decided to confront the thing following me. Maybe Io would be able to catch it and kill it or incapacitate it enough so that it would  _quit following me_.

I found an empty parking lot and whipped hastily into a spot and jumped out, pacing back and forth under the lights of the street lamps, biting at my fingers.

"Be on guard, Io," I muttered, my eyes darting wildly around for movement.

A tense hour passed in which nothing happened. Io's eyes flickered warily from underneath the car. Every passing car drove nails into my nerves. Maybe it didn't want to be confronted.

I sensed something all of a sudden; the back of my neck tingled and I jerked around to see them standing there under the streetlight, their head tilted as their mask grinned hauntingly at me.

My hand instantly found my gun at my hip. "What do you want?" I said, trying to sound demanding and confident, but my voice cracked as I spoke.

The person took a tottering step toward me, but I whipped my gun out and aimed it at them.

"Take one more step and I  _will_  shoot you," I barked.

The person stopped, standing crookedly, almost as if they were a marionette with broken strings. Io had crawled out from under the car, pacing back and forth in front of me, baring her rotating sets of teeth and growling lowly.

" _Who are you_?" I hissed, deranged from exhaustion and fear. " _Why are you following me_?"

The person slowly moved their hands to their face and grabbed their mask, moving it away from their face with agonizing slowness.

Behind the mask was a woman, about my age, with startlingly blue eyes. Part of her head was shaved and the rest went down to her elbows, so blonde that it looked white under the streetlights. She was very pale and thin, resembling a short, frail ghost. She stared at me, expressionless, and I tried not to let my hands shake.

"You're never going to find him like this, you know," she rasped quietly. "They're moving him on purpose."

My eyes widened. "Winter? Who's moving him?"

She didn't answer and she looked up at the smoggy sky. "It's funny, actually. You're looking for them and they're looking for you."

" _Who_?" I barked again.

She suddenly started speaking very fast to the hazy sky. "You ought to be thanking me; I'm the only reason they haven't caught you."

" _What-do-you-mean_?"

She looked down at me, her large icy eyes piercing through me. "I've been keeping them off of your trail, haven't you noticed?"

I narrowed my eyes at her, not understanding.

She huffed and crossed her arms. "You could say 'thank you'."

"Why – why would you be keeping anyone off my trail?" I asked, confused.

The woman shrugged, looking down at her black-painted nails. "I don't like them, so I'm pissing them off however I can. You'd be surprised how angry they are that they can't find you."

She glanced behind her for a moment, seeming unfazed by my gun or Io's teeth.

"You should go," she advised casually. "Standing out in the open like this is going to get you shot."

"WHO ARE YOU KEEPING AWAY FROM ME?!" I shouted, but I had barely gotten the question out when the light she was standing under popped and flickered off.

I stumbled backward to get my back to the car, eyes flitted around wildly.

"They are gone," Io said, slinking back to my side.

I heard feet on gravel somewhere in the distance to my right and I grit my teeth and got into the car and drove off.

The pale woman wasn't bothering to hide the fact that she was following Io and me around now. She seemed to appear out of nothing; Io and I would be investigating a place that Winter's scent was in and I would hear "Tsk, tsk" and turn around to see her standing in a shadow with a frown on her face. "I know where he is" or "You're looking in all the wrong places" she would say, mockingly, and Io would snap at her. She would dart out and vanish before Io or I could catch her.

I felt it safe to assume that HYDRA had found Winter and that's who was looking for me. I didn't have the faintest idea what HYDRA had done to irritate my mysterious shadow, though. She acted like she knew where Winter was, but no matter how much I shouted after her, she refused to tell me. She was infuriatingly vague about everything she said to me. My sanity was at a breaking point. I didn't know when the last time I had slept more than two hours was. My hands were always bleeding, always shaking, always grasping for something just out of my reach.

Io led me to a back alleyway in some city I didn't even pay attention to the name of, where we found more sticky, wine-colored blood splattered on the concrete, a lot more than there had been at the previous location.

I collapsed onto the ground, my body wouldn't hold me up any longer. No sleep, no food, no help. No Winter.

"Oh, come on, you can't give up now!" the woman's voice came from behind me. "You're almost close to him!"

I didn't respond. I had told Io not to growl at her anymore; she was around so often that I couldn't think through Io's snarls, but Io still eyed the woman vigilantly.

"Hey," the woman said again, the glee falling from her voice, and I heard her take a step toward me.

I didn't react whatsoever.

"I can help you find him," she said after a minute as if she had a candy bar she was trying to bargain for a favor.

"…You won't," I replied in a brittle voice.

"Sure I will, if you ask nicely," the girl said and I turned around to look at her.

Her carefree expression faded as she looked at me and she clasped her hands together in front of her, almost as if she was embarrassed.

"Please?" I pleaded, my voice breaking. "Please help me find him."

She blinked and her eyes fell to the ground.

"Yeah. I'll help you," she said quietly. "We gotta hurry, though."

I got to my feet, daring to hope that maybe this girl  _was_  actually going to help me. Io and I followed her back to our car and she told me to drive to New York City.

"Why is he back there?" I asked as I drove, Io sitting next to me in the passenger seat and the girl sitting in the back, munching on a bag of chips.

The girl shrugged. "It's not like he wants to be."

My stomach twisted.

We drove in silence for a little while and I glanced at her in the rear-view mirror.

"What's your name?" I asked and she glanced up at me and put a finger in the air while she chewed the mouthful of chips she had.

"People call me Ghost," she said after she had swallowed her chips.

"Do you call yourself Ghost?" I asked and she looked at me strangely.

"I mean… Yeah," she said after a minute, seeming like she was almost going to tell me something else. "Just… call me Ghost."

We got back to New York City after a few hours and Ghost directed me to Queens, to an abandoned church with broken windows and white walls blemished with graffiti. I parked the car out of sight of it and got out with Io. It was getting dark, but it wasn't quite dark enough that we wouldn't be seen, especially with Io.

"Be careful," Ghost warned me, trailing behind me. "He probably isn't the only one in there."

My hand nervously found my gun. I had two guns and Io's teeth, but I wasn't an expert marksman and Io could only fight so many people at once. And god knew what shape Winter was in after weeks of being captured…

A thought occurred to me that maybe Ghost had been leading me to Winter's dead body and I turned around to ask her if this was a trick, but she had vanished.

I swore under my breath. Maybe this was a trap. But I couldn't risk it  _not_  being one…

"Scout ahead, be in stealth, but be ready for offensive measures," I hissed to Io and she darted ahead through a hole that was broken into the door.

I stared up at the looming, dilapidated sanctuary, my stomach writhing. It was possible that he wasn't even here, Ghost could have just been lying. Something about the atmosphere made me uneasy though, the air was tense like a storm was just about to break.

I eased the door open with my gun, ready to shoot at any second, and stepped inside the musty chapel. Io blinked her eyes twice to let me know that this room was clear. We searched the entire place, but it seemed abandoned.

I was bitterly resenting myself for placing a shred of hope in Ghost, when I noticed Io purposefully sniffing a dusty bookcase on the wall of the chapel.

Curious, I went up to it and inspected it. I pulled on it and it seemed affixed to the wall, which was strange. It slid a little bit and I realized that it could be pushed to the side. I nudged it open as quietly as I could to reveal a small trap door set in to the floor of a tiny room.

I just stared at it for a minute, fear gnawing at my stomach. What if I was too late? Swallowing my nerves, I pulled the little door open gently, miraculously not making a sound. I peered down to see a bare room light by florescent lights and a door on the other side from me that was slightly ajar. I heard voices.

Dizzy with fear, I pulled the bookcase closed behind me and told Io to wait to go down until I whistled for her. I crept down the ladder as quietly as I could. I padded to the door, terror twisting my stomach so much that I thought I might faint, and I peered in the crack in the door.

The back of a familiar blond head made my heart skip a beat and my eyes widened in shock. It was Captain Rogers.

I burst in the door, one of my guns pointed at Captain Rogers, the other pointed at the black man who had been with Captain Rogers before, but my eyes were fixated on a figure huddled on the ground behind Captain Rogers. It was Winter, looking pallid and sick, his metal arm stuck inside of a machine that didn't fit this place that was as tall as the ceiling. I gawked at him in horror, realization dawning on me.

"It's been you… this whole time…" I breathed, my eyes darting to Captain Rogers madly.

"No," he defended sternly, taking a step toward me. "I would never –"

"STOP TALKING!" I screeched and he obeyed.

Winter was trying to get my attention, but I was so focused on Captain Rogers that I could hardly see him, rage making my hands shake.

"Get away from him," I demanded. "NOW!"

Hands in the air, he slowly moved away from Winter to go stand by the other man. I whistled loudly and I heard Io leap down through the trap door and she prowled into the room, her teeth rotating angrily and oil dripping from her jaws onto the concrete floor. I padded over to Winter, my gun trained on the two of them, trying to force my hands to stop shaking.

"Are you alright?" I hissed down to him.

He didn't respond. Captain Rogers shifted and Io growled loudly and my finger twitched on the trigger of the gun.

"Stop moving around, Captain Rogers," I said in a slow, honeyed mask of confidence. "I designed her teeth to strip steel and lead, so… what do you think they'll do to your skin?"

Io's teeth whirred and I tried my best to look like I wasn't terrified out of my mind. I felt Winter's hand on my hip, grasping at my shirt, but I didn't let myself look down at him.

"Winter, what's wrong, talk to me," I said out of the corner of my mouth, a new jolt of fear twisting my stomach. Why wasn't he saying anything…?

I heard Winter's raspy breathing, like someone with a raw throat trying to form words.

"Never mind, then," I breathed madly, tears forming in my eyes. "I'll get you out of there in a second –"

I was going to shoot  _at_  the both of them, hoping to aim to the right of them and scare them off, but Winter seized my arm and yanked me down and grabbed my face to make me look him in the eyes. He shook his head, his eyes wide as his mouth struggled to form words.

"…Don't… Stella…" he rasped like he had daggers in his throat. "…P...lease…"

Tears flowed down my face and my bottom lip trembled. "Winter we –  _can't_  – trust them!"

Winter's eyes were wildfire and he pursed his lips and shook his head vehemently. I was sobbing now; I couldn't help it. I had thought Winter was dead for weeks, barely surviving under the weight of the exhaustion and the  _constant_  terror.

"You  _– trust them_?" I choked in disbelief.

Winter studied me for a moment and his eyes flickered to Captain Rogers and the other man and then back to me. He nodded curtly.

He let go of my face and held it out to me for the guns. I closed my eyes and swallowed, hard. What if Winter was wrong? What if I could save both of our lives by shooting the both of them, right now?

But what if _I_  was wrong…?

After a tense minute I slowly put the guns in Winter's hand and let out a soft sob. He put the guns on the ground and squeezed my shoulder and tears dripped down onto my pants. I heard Io snap at one of the two of the men and I glanced up at her.

"Io, heel," I said, my voice cracking and I coughed.

She kept growling at them though, taking a step toward them.

"Io," I repeated, frowning and sniffing.

She didn't respond. I huffed and looked behind me to find a bit of pipe on the ground.

I picked it up and threw it at Io and it clanged off of her flank and she turned to look at me. I motioned for her to come to me and she immediately shut her jaws and padded over to me.

I sniffled and grabbed her head to inspect her hearing mechanism, throwing a glance up at Captain Rogers and the other man who were both studying me. To my surprise they didn't look angry.

I worked on fixing the broken wire in what served as Io's ears. Captain Rogers and the other man spoke amongst themselves and I kept throwing glances at Winter, wishing that I was alone with him.

"I've got someone coming in the morning to get him out of there," Captain Roger's friend told me.

I scoffed and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "We don't need anyone, I can get him out just fine."

I let go of Io and snapped my fingers around her head to see if she responded. She did. I stood up and looked at the machine for the first time. Blades had Winter's arm jammed inside of the mechanism and I reached in gingerly, trying to see if his arm was severely damaged, but he grabbed my wrist and shook his head angrily.

"Are there traps in it?" I asked him and he shrugged somewhat.

I pursed my lips. I turned to Captain Rogers and his friend.

"Can one of you two go and get my duffel bag out of my car? It's a block away on the left, a white Mazda Sentia," I said quietly, my eyes down on the ground in front of him.

Roger's friend nodded and left to go get it. Silence followed and I turned my back on Captain Rogers, shame and fear making my face burn.

"How long ago did you find him here?" I asked Captain Rogers, over my shoulder.

"About…" Captain Rogers checked his watch. "45 minutes ago."

I nodded and looked up at Winter. "How long have you been stuck in that thing?"

He held up three fingers.

"Three days?" I clarified and ne nodded.

"Jesus," I sighed.

"Here's your bag," Rogers's friend said, swinging open the door and holding out my black duffel bag to me.

My eyes met with his for a second but I quickly looked away. I stood up and shuffled toward him. My hand was shaking as I reached out for my bag and I thanked him curtly.

I gave Winter a water bottle that he downed in three gulps and a protein bar that he practically inhaled. Captain Rogers and his friend, who I heard him call Sam, left the room and I heard them talking to themselves as they stood outside of the doorway.

I was still for a second, staring down at the ground. My eyes flicked up to Winter's and my throat constricted. I flung my arms around him and squeezed him tightly and he held me back without hesitation, wrapping his one free arm around me protectively.

"I thought you were dead…" I whispered hoarsely. "I was so…  _scared_ …"

His arm tightened around me, and even though he couldn't speak, I took it as "I'm sorry".

I clung onto him for a solid minute, sniffling and trying to compose myself. I heard a shoe scrape across the ground and I pulled away from Winter and glanced behind me to see Captain Rogers and Sam standing there and blood flushed to my face.

Winter eyed them both over my shoulder too, looking confused. I noticed a large bump on his forehead and I brushed his hair out of his face and sighed.

"Let's get you out of there," I said softly and I got to my feet.

I unscrewed the panel on the back of the machine, hoping to reverse the blades to make it spit out his arm. I dug around in the machine for about half an hour while Sam and Captain Rogers got bored and wandered out to inspect the church.

I had so much grease on my hands that I had to get up and wipe my hands off on a rag, sighing as I stood next to Winter.

I heard a metallic whir come from the machine and suddenly the blades around Winter's arm shrieked to life and started pulling Winter toward the rotating blades.

I gasped and grabbed onto him and he pulled against the machine, throwing a fearful glance at me.

"CAPTAIN ROGERS!" I screamed desperately. " _HELP_!"

He burst through the door and sprinted over to Winter, grabbing onto his arm and pulling and the blades slowed on Winter's arm and whined in protest.

I sprinted around to the other side of the machine, my eyes finding the wire feeding power to the machine. I pulled out a pocket knife, knowing full well that it was going to shock me, but I cut the wire anyway. The machine threw up sparks and my body twitched violently away from the machine and I fell to the ground, writhing.

I didn't feel or hear anything for a second. I faintly heard a lot of yelling just before I blacked completely out.

 

* * *

 

 

I started awake and sat up and I instantly regretted it. Every muscle in my body burned like fire and I gasped, my eyes wildly flashing around me. I was in a hospital?

Someone hurried in at the sound of my distress, a tall Asian woman that I had never seen before.

"Dr. Martin?" she said briskly. "My name is Dr. Cho, can you hear me?"

I blinked several times and groaned again. "Wh-where am I?"

"At the Avenger's Facility, safe," she told me. "How do you feel?"

"Like I've been hit by a truck," I winced, focusing on Dr. Cho. I couldn't help noticing how pretty she was.

She smiled kindly. "I'm sure that you do. I don't know exactly how much electricity went through your body, but it probably should have killed you."

I almost blurted out something about how I must have died because she looked just like an angel, but I coughed instead and blushed.

"How did I get here?" I asked, pushing myself up, but I felt searing pain in my hand and I dropped back to the bed. My hands were now heavily bandaged.

"Mr. Wilson brought you here," she said, busing herself to check my vitals. "I was sure that you were already gone, you were so limp."

She noticed me looking at my hands and she smiled sadly. "You suffered second degree burns on your right hand where the electricity entered your body."

"Wonderful," I mumbled.

Dr. Cho's smile widened. "I can fix all of the damaged cells in your hand easily, Dr. Martin, it is nothing to worry about."

I looked up at her, raising one eyebrow. "How are you going to do that?"

"One moment," she said simply and left the room.

I looked all around me, fear churning in my stomach. What if I hadn't gotten the machine to turn off? Sam Wilson came into the room and he seemed relieved to see me awake.

"Oh, thank god you're up," he said, smiling. "You had us worried there for a minute."

"How did we get here?" I frowned.

"Well, you know how Steve's thing is his strength, and, like, Thor's is his hammer?"

I nodded.

"Well my thing is flying."

I narrowed my eyes.

"It's true," he insisted, putting his hands up in the air and I laughed somewhat.

"So, what, you flew me here?"

"Sure did."

"What about –" I glanced at the door and blinked a few times. "Captain Rogers?"

"Just were we left him, unless that dog of yours ate him," Sam said, smirking. "He prefers 'Steve', by the way, he says 'Captain Rogers' makes him feel old."

I chuckled a little and Dr. Cho came back into the room, pulling an egg shaped machine behind her. Sam scooted out of her way and I inspected the machine curiously.

"What does that do?" I asked.

Dr. Cho beamed like she had been waiting for me to ask. "It's an invention of my creation, I call it the 'cradle'."

She pushed the machine by my bedside and it whirred on with a soft mint light.

"It rebuilds lost tissue, urging your own cells to knit back together faster than ever thought possible," Dr. Cho said proudly. "Here, I'll show you."

She helped me lie down on a bed inside of the machine and I watched in amazement as the colored lights whirred over my body and my eyes widened as my burns  _shrunk_. It felt strange, like my hand was asleep and it itched like a poison ivy rash like I had gotten once, but in just 60 seconds, my burns were healed as if they were months old.

"That's…" I laughed, smiling. "That's  _amazing_!"

Dr. Cho glowed happily.

"I have a burn on my leg as well," I remembered, turning to Dr. Cho. "It's, I mean, it's several months old, but would it work on that too?"

"Of course," Dr. Cho nodded.

The burn on my leg was old, but it still wasn't completely healed and the scar that was forming was a warped, angry red. The cradle fixed it within a minute though, a painful mar that I thought I would have forever was suddenly gone.

"Wow," I said in a hush, awed.

"You should rest for a short time, but other than that, you should have no farther complications," Dr. Cho said, smiling and I turned to her.

"This-this is –" I babbled and then broke off and laughed in awe. "This is unbelievable."

I glanced between Sam and Dr. Cho. "This technology is going to save  _hundreds_  of  _thousands_  of people."

Dr. Cho nodded and grinned. "I certainly hope so."

"Unfortunately it isn't ready to be used on the public quite yet," Dr. Cho said, her eyes falling to the ground. "But I am striving to get it ready so that I might lessen the pain in the world."

I stayed at the Avenger's Facility over the night to rest and around one or two I jostled myself awake out of a bad dream and I saw a beautiful dark haired girl standing in the corner in the room, her bright blue eyes watching me curiously.

"Who…?" I tried to ask, but my eyes suddenly refused to stay open and I heard the woman mutter something that sounded foreign to me. I mumbled incomprehensively a few times before I was overtaken by sleep. I woke up in the morning having forgotten all about her.

Sam and I left the facility in the morning, using one of Steve's motorcycles rather than Sam's 'flight'. I didn't know what to think about his proposed 'flight', but he seemed kind enough.

We arrived back to the church in under an hour and I noticed that the car I had left had been taken, leaving shards of glass in its place. I didn't mind. I rushed back to the basement of the church ahead of Sam, worry gnawing my stomach that relaxed when I burst into the room to see Winter right where I had left him.

I sighed in relief when I saw him and Winter lurched like he was trying to get up, staring at me in distress, and Io nuzzled my hand in greeting and I patted her head before padding up to Winter and kneeling beside him. He strained on the blades against his arm, trying to get closer to me, and he reached out and touched my face. Color rose to my cheeks, very aware that both Steve and Sam were watching us and I let out a nervous laugh.

"I'm okay, Winter, really," I assured him. "Sam brought me to the Avenger's Facility and there was this woman who had invented this machine that accelerated cells healing and she used it on me, and I'm okay now."

Rage contorted Winter's features, but he still held onto my face.

" _What were you thinking_?" he demanded angrily, his voice still rough from misuse.

I blinked and shook his hand off of my face.

"I – that was the only way to get that machine to stop right away – it could have cut you to pieces –"

"You should have let it!" he interjected lividly. "You  _knew_  what cutting that wire was going to do –"

"What else was I supposed to do; let it  _kill_  you?" I retorted angrily.

"I would have been fine, if you hadn't been so  _thoughtless_ , you could have just turned the damn thing off!"

"There is no 'off' switch, it's internally wired to a power source!"

Winter looked like he was trying very hard not to lose his patience and he didn't retort for a minute and he just glared at me and I crossed my arms and glared back.

"Yikes," said a voice I didn't recognize and I turned to see a man in a black and red suit with an insect-like helmet with red, buggy eyes suddenly standing by Steve.

"What the fuck?" I yelped, recoiling.

"Oh, sorry!" the helmeted man said and he pressed a button that retracted the helmet from his face. I still had no idea who he was. "My name's Scott, uh, he asked me to come." He gesturing to Sam.

I stared at him in distrust. Io didn't seem too worried about him and I scrunched my nose at her for being such a bad guard dog. She tilted her head to the side and trotted over to me.

"Nice, um, robot dog," Scott said, trying to make conversation. I just gaped at him.

"What, what is that suit for?" I asked after a minute.

"Oh, well, it'd be easier to just show you," Scott shrugged. "I'm gonna use it to get him out of that machine." He nodded to Winter.

"I can get him out just fine," I said quietly.

"Obviously  _not,_ " Winter growled and I shot him a glare.

Scott was quiet for an uncomfortable second. "Okay, well, I'm gonna get on that."

He disappeared suddenly and I jumped to my feet.

I looked between Sam and Steve. " _What_?!"

"He can shrink with the help of that suit," Sam explained. "He calls himself Ant-man."

I just gawked at him. "…Okay."

Steve shrugged. "I don't understand either."

Winter wasn't speaking to me or looking in my direction, so I got up and leaned against the wall next to him, crossing my arms.

"How are you feeling?" Captain Rogers asked me and I glanced at him, surprised.

"I'm okay," I said shyly. "Thanks."

I heard something in the machine rumble and I glanced at it in worry, automatically moving to pick at my newly healed fingers. Io was sitting by the door, making sure that no one entered and she turned around to look at me when the machine whined. I made a motion with my hand for her to stay where she was and she turned back around, staring up at the trap door.

Scott was only shrunk for about ten minutes before the machine screamed and with a metallic whine the machines blades spat out Winters arm.

Steve and I both moved at the same time to help Winter up but he waved our hands away and stood stiffly up with a groan. I wanted to touch him, I was still an anxious shell from having thought he was dead for so long, but he swatted my hands away when I gave a second attempt to reach out to him and my throat constricted.

"Any other bionic friends you need me to get out of any machines?" Scott asked, grinning, as he reappeared from seemingly nowhere.

"Not for now, anyway," Steve said, smiling warmly at Scott. "Thank you for your help, Scott."

Scott blinked a few times, like he couldn't comprehend that Captain America was thanking him for his help. "Yeah, yeah, of course. Anything you need help with, just let me know."

"We might have to take you up on that," Sam laughed and I glanced at Steve out of the corner of my eye. Worry and anger crossed his features and I briefly noticed how badly my fingers hurt.

Scott bade us farewell and he got into a beat up cavalier and drove off, smiling to himself. Winter and I were left standing outside the desecrated skeleton of the church with Sam and Steve, not knowing what words to put into the air.

"…What now?" I mumbled, crossing my arms against the bitter wind that was picking up.

"Let's go to a hotel for the night," Sam said, jumping up and down slightly. "We can figure out what to do next in some damn heat."


	10. Bar Fight

Winter didn't even look at me for the rest of the evening. We found a cheap motel and got three rooms, one for me and Winter, one for Steve, and one for Sam.

Steve seemed reluctant to say goodnight and to go to his room and I couldn't blame him. I privately fretted that if I fell asleep, even for an instant, Winter would disappear into the darkness. I could tell that Steve was going to spend all night fighting off sleep and straining to hear if Winter was still in the room next to him, so I hoped that between Steve and I, one of us would notice if Winter tried to leave.

I sat on the bed curled up in a ball, staring straight through the tv as it showed the local weather. The flickering television screen was the only light in the plain little room. Io was lying in front of the door, her blue LED eyes throwing a soft glow on the wall next to her. Winter was sitting in a chair in the corner, his face obscured by his hair and the shadows in the room. I assumed he was still awake, but I couldn't tell for sure.

Io made a noise that sounded like a sigh and I glanced at her. I picked at my fingers. I heard someone shift in a different room somewhere.

"…Stella," Winter rasped, barely above a whisper.

I didn't want to look at him. "What?" I replied, staring at the tv screen.

"Why did you hurt yourself for my sake?" he demanded quietly and I glanced at him in surprise.

His head moved and I caught a glimpse of the bewildered and hurt expression on his face in the pale blue light and his eyes drifted up to me.

"Why?" he repeated thickly.

I blinked and for a moment I couldn't say anything.

"… I – because –" I stumbled over the words, laughing somewhat in disbelief. "Because I want to  _protect_  you."

Winter narrowed his eyes and frowned at me.

"Stella, I don't want you to get hurt because of  _me,_ " he said forcefully, sounding angry again.

I just stared at him and he glared at up at me through his eyebrows and I felt myself shiver a little bit.

My eyes fell and I shrugged somewhat. "I didn't have to hurt myself. You were right; I was being stupid," I said softly, closing in on myself a little bit more.

"I didn't mean that you were stupid," he said instantly.

I tried to sniff discreetly and I turned my face away from him and rested my cheek on my knee. The television murmured quietly and I heard the chair Winter was sitting in shift.

"Stella."

I swallowed in an attempt to get the lump out of my throat but I didn't turn around. The glow of the tv was darkened and I glanced up to see Winter standing in front of me. He knelt slowly and I put my chin on my knee to watch him sink to the floor.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. I moved to sit cross legged and I studied his face. I noticed the lump on his forehead had turned purple. "I didn't mean to upset you."

I shook my head. "It's not that, really," I sighed. "I was just so scared that HYDRA was going to kill you – I –"

I choked up and pursed my lips. "I was _so_ scared."

"Me too," Winter said, taking my hand and holding it against his face. "I didn't mean to leave. I won't again, okay?"

I looked up at him, trying my hardest not to cry and doing a poor job of it. "You promise?"

He nodded. "I promise."

I sniffed and gave him a shaky smile and he half smiled back at me.

"Do you really think we can trust Steve?" I whispered, wanting to change the subject.

He glanced down at the ground, frowning in concentration.

"Remember when the helicarriers were being launched?"

I nodded.

"I was sent to fight him. To stop him from bringing the carriers down."

Winter straightened up and frowned. "He didn't want to fight me. He begged me not to."

Winter's face contorted into a scowl. "But he was my  _mission,_ " he spat. "So I had to.

"But after the carriers were destroyed and they were falling, a beam fell on me and trapped me. Rogers was bleeding and I had shot him six times, but…"

Winter knit his eyebrows together. "He still jumped down and managed to get it off of me. He wouldn't fight me after that, no matter how much I hit him, and it made me realize… I do remember him.

"I remember this skinny kid that was always getting beat up in alleys and I remember him putting newspaper in his shoes to make him look a little taller."

Winter frowned like it was difficult to remember all of these things and put them into words.

"…He's saved me more than once," Winter sat up and looked me in the eye. "I trust him."

I stared at a cut he had on his neck. "What if your memories have been altered?"

"I can tell which ones they've messed with," he insisted. "They tried to force me to forget all the stuff that happened, but… It's coming back to me. I  _know_  it's real."

I nodded slowly. "If you trust him… I'll trust him too."

Winter smiled somewhat. "I know you're scared of him, but you don't have to be."

I nodded again and wiped my eyes. "I hope you're right," I laughed weakly.

Winter smirked. There was a noise outside in the hallway and Winter and I both flinched and whipped around to stare at the door. Io had her nose to the bottom of it. For a tense minute we were both frozen until Io swung around to look at us.

"All clear," she said quietly and I let out the breath I was holding.

"This is awful," I grumbled. "I haven't slept in days and I'm not going to sleep tonight either."

Winter nodded in agreement. I did try to go to sleep, but I couldn't help feeling like every creak, cough, or shuffle in the motel was either HYDRA or Ghost creeping into our room. I needed to tell Winter about Ghost, but in the dark unfamiliar motel I felt almost like the mere mention of her name would summon her here, grinning and gleefully telling me that all of this has been an illusion and that I've really just been starving to death all alone in an alley somewhere. Winter had enough to worry about for tonight anyway.

Halfway throughout the night I was just on the cusp of unconsciousness when I heard the door creak open and I sat bolt upright to see Winter standing in the doorway, letting the yellow light of the hallway flood the dark room.

"Where are you going?" I hissed, throwing the blankets off of me. He put a finger to his lips and nodded his head for me to follow him.

Suspicious, I followed after him. Io got up to go to, but I told her to stay put and that I would call her if I needed her. She snorted at me and jumped up on the bed and curled up on it, watching me shut the door with her glowing blue eyes.

Winter stood in front of the room right next to ours and as I rubbed my eyes, I remembered it was Steve's room. He gently tapped on the door with his knuckle and not two seconds later Steve yanked the door open, looking concerned.

"Are you guys okay?" Steve asked, glancing between Winter and me. I crossed my arms and shrugged halfheartedly and my eyes fell to the floor.

Steve didn't ask any more questions, he just gave us a small, knowing smile and opened the door to let us into his room. Winter lumbered across the room and sat down at a little table in the corner and Steve slowly followed him like he wasn't sure how close he was allowed to get to Winter. My eyes darted to the open window and I watched outside for a minute, worried that maybe Ghost was already staring in through the glass and that I just didn't see her yet.

"Stella?" I heard Winter say and I snapped back to the safe little hotel room and I glanced at Winter. Steve and Winter were both staring at me and I realized it was because I was biting at my fingers again and I noticed that I had coppery blood on my lips.

Steve looked away but Winter kept watching me and I lowered my hands and shrugged apologetically.

"We won't stay here long enough for HYDRA to catch up to us," Steve assured me kindly and I shrugged again.

"You're probably right..." I hesitated, not wanting to bring that small skeletal girl to life by talking about her, but I felt safer in here with both Winter  _and_  Steve. "They're not the only ones that I'm worried about, though."

Winter stared at me intently and frowned and so did Steve.

"What do you mean?" Steve asked.

I moved to sit on the edge of the bed and I pulled my sweater around me tighter.

"There's a girl about my age that's been following me around since Winter and I were separated," I began. "I don't know how she was staying on my trail, but wherever I went she was there too. She didn't seem to want to hurt me, really, but she liked taunting me about you." I glanced at Winter. "She was the one that finally led me to the church too. Whatever she is… I don't think she's human."

Steve nodded like this wasn't unreasonable and I felt a little relief that neither of them were just brushing this off or not believing me.

"She seems like she isn't…" I scowled at the floor, not knowing how to put her into words. "She seems like she's not all there when you look at her. Like she's sort of transparent sometimes. She… got into my hotel room one night and I looked up and she was just sitting on the ceiling like a spider, just… watching me."

I noticed Winter glance at the window behind him and move to close the curtains.

"She also said that she was keeping HYRDA from finding me somehow," I mumbled. "She easily could have been lying, but… I don't know. I don't know what she wants and I don't like that."

Steve nodded, giving me rapt attention. "Can you tell me what she looks like?"

"She's my height, but she's thinner than me. She has really eerie blue eyes and white hair. She wears a mask over her face a lot, it has big mouth and a lot of teeth and really big eyes on it. She calls herself Ghost."

"Seems fitting," Steve said, frowning. "Thank you for telling me."

I nodded and rubbed my eyes and glanced at Winter. "Any secrets you'd like to share?"

Winter smirked slightly and Steve grinned.

"Rumlow was the one that trapped me in that church," he said seriously and I felt a pang of fear.  _Rumlow_. What an asshole. "He caught me and tried to brainwash me again, but he was moving too much and he didn't have the equipment to."

Winter was quiet for a minute and anger twisted his features as he glared at the table. "He said he was going to  _use_  you to make me comply when he found you..."

He gripped the table and the expression on his face was like nothing I had seen before. Winter was always hard, but this was something else. He looked  _wrathful_.

"He's got some sort of suit that makes him stronger and tougher. He never takes it off now," Winter finished shortly.

I yawned widely and I covered my mouth with my sleeve. "I never -" I paused to finish my yawn- "Liked Rumlow. He was always obsessed with HYDRA, like he worshipped it."

Steve nodded solemnly.

"Watch out for Rumlow and another enhanced," Steve shrugged. "I think we'll be alright."

"There are others like that?" Winter asked and Steve started explaining how two more 'enhanced' had fought against them on Ultron's side and then fought against Ultron on their side once Wanda realized what Ultron wanted. Winter hadn't paid much attention to the press conferences of Wanda and Pietro; he had been more interested in what was being said about Captain Rogers, but he had talked with me before about them. Maybe Rumlow had managed to do more damage than Winter wanted to think.

I ended up falling asleep still sitting up and jerking half-awake a short time later in the dark motel room. I noticed a lump under the covers next to me and in my haze I assumed it was Winter. I crawled into the bed next to him and rested my head on his arm and promptly fell asleep. I woke up a short time later having heard some noise and I registered that there were two other people in the bed I was in. Winter was curled up around me and Steve was pressed against my back with his arm under both of our heads. I stayed awake for a short time, wondering if this was inappropriate and if I should move. But... curled up between two of the strongest people in the world… this was the first time I had felt warm and truly  _safe_  for weeks…

I decided to let myself have this, and I shifted to scoot a little closer to Winter and I drifted back to sleep.

Winter shook me awake in the morning and told me that we were leaving soon. It was still dark and cold out and I was mostly still asleep as we packed up all of our things and left the motel in Steve and Sam's car. Sam drove the motorcycle, so Steve drove the car and Winter and I sat in the back. I wanted to go back to sleep, but I felt too uneasy to, so I stared outside of the window.

"Where are we going now?" I asked quietly.

"Well…" Steve began, glancing at us in the rearview mirror. "Going to the Avengers Facility would be the safest from HYDRA, but then we'd have to deal with Stark. He thinks you both still work for HYDRA, and I don't think I can convince him otherwise."

"Wonderful," I muttered. "How are we going to manage to hide from HYDRA, Ghost,  _and_  Tony Stark?"

Steve shrugged. "I don't know. For now we're going to my apartment, but I don't know how long we'll stay there."

I instantly thought of Isabel. I hadn't called her like I promised I would; I was too scared to contact her. I didn't want her to be in any more danger than she was already.

I was staring at the road in front of us, not really paying attention, when I realized that I was looking at Ghost who was standing in the middle of the road, her monstrous mask gleaming in the headlights.

Steve saw her the same time I did and he slammed on the breaks and swerved around her. The car screeched to a halt and Steve flung the door open to make sure that he didn't actually hit her and Winter edged out of the car too. I heard Io bark in the trunk and Winter let her out and I poked my head out of the door to watch her sniff around.

"Was that Ghost?" Steve called as Sam pulled up and turned the motorcycle off.

I nodded, my eyes darting around. She wasn't gone. There was no way. What did she want now?

I leaned out of the car and held my breath. Steve and Sam and Winter didn't seem to see her anywhere… but that just meant she was hiding.

I was about to step out of the car when I realized that I heard heavy breathing coming from behind me. I slowly turned my head to see the horrible mask Ghost was wearing grinning at me, mere inches away from my face.

"What do you want?" I quaked, maintaining eye contact with the large, awful eyes of her mask and banging on the door to get someone's attention.

She just rasped, sounding like someone dying of pneumonia, and didn't say anything for a minute and I hit the door with increasing urgency and I heard a gun click from somewhere behind me.

" _They're-coming,_ " she wheezed, barley in two syllables, and I heard a gun fire and Ghost vanished from the car.

I recoiled and nearly tumbled out of the car, but Winter caught me and scooped me up, instantly putting himself between me and the car.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked as Steve went to the other side of the car to look for Ghost, but I knew she was gone.

"I'm fine," I said as Winter allowed me to edge out from behind him. "She just said something to me; she said 'They're coming'."

"Who's coming?" Sam demanded and all four of us jerked our heads at the sound of an engine revving. Several cars were speeding toward us; their headlights quickly approaching down the dark road…

Winter pushed me into the car and slid across the hood to jump into the passenger seat, getting two pistols out from under the seat and I heaved Io in with me. Sam rather than Steve leapt into the driver's seat and we tore off.

Our pursuers were quickly overtaking us though, and I worried about Steve out on the motorcycle with nothing to protect him. We were shot at and I yelped and ducked behind the seat and Winter rolled the window down and shot behind us at the cars.

He hit his mark, and one of the cars swerved out of control and into the field on the side of the road and the three other black SUVs didn't pause in their chase.

"Well she wasn't wrong!" I yelled over the wind and Sam glanced at me in the rearview.

" _Who_?" he asked.

"Ghost, this superhuman girl that's been chasing me," I explained briefly. "She appeared in the car next to me and warned me that HYDRA was coming!"

"That sure was nice of her!" Sam shouted and had to duck to avoid being shot.

One of the cars exploded into fire and shrapnel behind us and I peered over the seat to see Steve swerving away from it and being shot at and I felt fear twist my stomach.

He caught back up to us and I noticed his shield on his back, which made me feel a little bit better. At least he wasn't  _completely_  defenseless, as small as that shield was.

I felt useless, cowering behind the seats. Io couldn't even help us in a situation like this. I briefly wished I had a grenade launcher like the one Winter had used to go after Director Fury.

We managed to get away from the people chasing us after a while, just as an icy sun was throwing light into the frigid air. The last SUV was taken out by Steve just yanking the driver out and throwing him onto the road. Steve's motorcycle roared and Winter retracted from hanging out of the window and I felt my fear lessen.

I poked my head up in the front of the car to look at him and I briefly noticed that crimson blood was oozing out of Winter's shoulder before he hastily covered it up with his hand.

"Oh my god, he's hurt!" I panicked, looking at Sam desperately.

"Okay, we'll stop here soon, but we can't just yet, we gotta make sure we're far from anybody else that's chasing us," Sam said, glancing down at Winter. "How bad is it?"

"I'm fine." Winter said gruffly and I reached out to see if I could help some way.

"Don't," he said shortly, waving my hands off. "I'm fine."

I huffed and gave him an exasperated look. "Winter, just let me help you. Please."

He frowned at me, but he moved his hand so that I could look at his shoulder. I squeezed it and I knew it had to hurt but Winter's expression didn't change.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what else to do besides putting pressure on it," I apologized.

"No, that's good for now," Sam assured me. "We'll stop soon, don't worry about it."

We drove for about half an hour in which I sat on the console between Sam and Winter and held one of my shirts on the wound in his shoulder so that he wouldn't bleed out. He didn't seem the slightest bit worried about his injury.

We stopped at a CVS in order to get more bandages, but Winter, irritated, waved my hands off and moved the red shirt he was wearing to show me where the bullet had gone into his upper arm and out the back side of it and that the bullet holes weren't even bleeding anymore.

"I heal fast," Winter explained shortly. "I'm fine. Really."

"How are you guys holding up?" Steve asked, walking up and leaning in the window. He noticed the blood soaked shirt and Winter's arm that I was holding and his eyes widened.

"I didn't know you got hurt," he said, reaching out to Winter, but he pulled his arm away from me and yanked his sleeve up to cover the wound. Steve didn't act upset, he just retracted his hand and didn't push.

"So it isn't bleeding now?" Steve asked.

Winter shook his head.

"Can I drive your bike? I'm sick of sitting in this car," Winter said gruffly.

Steve obliged and I got out to ride with Winter and I noticed that I had lost my coat somehow, but I just crossed my arms, determined not to say anything.

Steve noticed though, and he shed the brown leather jacket he was wearing and handed it to me.

"It's pretty cold on that bike," he said when I hesitated taking it. "I don't mind, I won't need it."

I gave in and took it and thanked him. It was too big for me, of course it was, Steve had to outweigh me by, what, 100 pounds? It blocked out the bitter wind though and I noticed that it also smelled nice.

I clung onto Winter as the bike roared to life and we sped off.

I decided that I really didn't like being on a motorcycle; I felt like I would fall off at any second if I didn't hold onto Winter with every ounce of my strength. By the time we got to Steve's building my legs were frozen and my arms ached horribly. I bandaged up Winter's arm once we were inside, but it was doing a good job of healing on its own, just after a few hours.

Steve only had one extra bedroom and he was more than happy to let Winter and I take it. I felt unworthy of Sam and Steve's kindness. I had almost shot both of them. Steve especially was very warm and patient with both Winter and me. The first night we were there neither of us slept and I stayed glued to Winter's side as he sat up on the bed and just stared at the wall all night. We were both always jumpy and Winter accidentally broke Steve's coffee table the next morning, but Steve didn't act as if it was even an inconvenience to him. He genuinely seemed like he enjoyed the silent, uneasy company we had to offer.

I felt like I was trespassing. Winter had been Steve's friend, but I never was. He didn't owe me anything. I brought my worries up to Winter and I wondered if I should just go stay at Isabel's, but he immediately rejected the idea.

"You're safe here. That's all that matters," he said simply.

I was still nervous around Steve and Sam, but it was getting easier to accept that they really didn't want to hurt me or Winter. Sam came over every morning at five to get Steve for their morning run, and after a few days, to the surprise of everyone, Winter started going with them. I thought all three of them were crazy.

I wanted to go see Isabel more than anything, but I was scared that if I so much as texted her Ghost would appear to haunt Isabel like she was haunting me. Isabel had to be worried, but… I couldn't risk her safety.

I asked Winter if I was doing the right thing and he didn't seem to understand the question. The way he saw it, there wasn't even another option to consider besides avoiding contact with Isabel. I realized that Winter wasn't the best person to ask that sort of question. He was recovering from what HYDRA had done to his mind, but he still had a very cold and misunderstanding disposition when it came to the way other people thought and felt.

I timidly asked Steve one night as he was cooking food for the three of us.

"That's never an easy call," Steve sighed. "I think you're doing the right thing, though. I know it might not feel like it, but you're doing what you can to keep her safe."

I nodded and sniffled. That eased my anxiety a little bit anyway.

"I don't understand what powers Ghost has, exactly." Steve mused half to himself. "She vanished from the car into thin air, but she's also got some kind of advanced tracking ability to be following you around so closely."

"Not to mention how she can cling onto sheer surfaces," I mumbled.

Steve nodded slowly, frowning at the food he was making. "Yeah… and that."

I woke up in the middle of the night once to hear Winter swearing softly from behind the bathroom door. I got out of bed to see that there was a trail of blood leading to the door and my breath stuck in my throat. I woke Steve up and he tried to get Bucky to let us in but he refused.

"He must have snuck out," I murmured, chewing on my fingers as I watched the door. "I knew I shouldn't have gone to sleep."

"This isn't your fault," Steve countered instantly and put his hands on his hips.

Steve reached out and grabbed the door handle and broke it off as easily as if it had been made of aluminum. The door popped open a tiny bit and I heard Winter grunt in protest.

"Buck,  _please,_ " Steve coaxed. "I know you're hurt, I want to help you."

I heard Winter shift behind the door.

"Please," Steve repeated.

I saw Winter's silver fingers pull the door open a tiny bit and Steve scooted through the door. I jumped up and tried to do the same, but Winter protested.

"Don't let Stella in." I heard him grunt and I frowned. "…I don't want her to see."

Steve looked down at me and smiled kindly. "Can you wait out here for a few minutes, please?"

I bit my lip and stood on my toes to try and see around him. "Is he okay?"

"He's going to be fine. I promise," Steve reassured me, shifting to block my view.

I crossed my arms and gave him a sour look. "Fine."

Steve smirked teasingly at me and closed the bathroom door. I heard him speaking gently to Winter but I couldn't make out what he was saying.

I sat on the bed and worried at my fingers for a while until Steve shouldered the door open, heavily supporting Winter who now had a bandage wrapped around his stomach.

"It looks worse than it is," Steve soothed before I could start fussing. "He's okay, he's just tired."

Winter gave me a weak smile and I pursed my lips in worry.

Steve helped Winter get into bed and he laid down on his side and covered his head with one of the pillows and groaned.

I crawled over the bed to him and picked up the other pillow and hugged it to myself.

"You suck," I mumbled, putting my chin on the pillow.

"I know," he replied, muffled by the other pillow.

Steve chuckled and I glanced at him.

"Uh, do you want me to leave you guys alone?" he asked shyly, shifting on his feet. "Because I can if you want –"

"No, stay," I interrupted and Steve blinked. "I'll feel better with you in here anyway."

Steve smiled halfway and a light pink colored his face.

I scooted closer to Winter and patted the bed beside me. "I mean it. I won't bite."

Steve chuckled and walked over to sit next to me. I turned my attention to Winter and rubbed his shoulder with my thumb. He sighed appreciatively.

"He must have gone after HYDRA or something, right?" I said quietly. "I wonder how long he's been doing that."

"Dunno," Steve answered. I glanced at him and I noticed how obviously  _exhausted_  he looked, but I caught his eye and he quickly looked away from me and changed his expression. There was no hiding the sleep deprivation in his eyes, though.

"You can sleep," I told him. "I'm not tired, I'll stay up."

"No, I'm alright," he insisted.

I frowned at him.

He gave me a small, tired smile. "I'm fine."

I pursed my lips, but I didn't argue.

"Can you pass me that book please?" I asked, pointing to the worn yellow paperback on the nightstand.

Steve did and I got comfortable and started reading.

Steve was fighting to stay awake as the night wore on, but it was obvious that this wasn't the first sleepless night he had had lately. He drifted off a few times but always jerked himself awake and I frowned at him.

"Please just sleep," I said gently after the third time he flinched himself awake.

He shrugged and put a hand over his eyes. "Even if I did, it wouldn't be any better. I have too many nightmares to get any rest."

I heard a door shut somewhere else in the apartment complex and I found myself wondering who else wasn't sleeping tonight.

"You can't keep going forever, though," I said softly.

He sighed. "What other choice do I have?"

I bit the inside of my lip. I heard Io's nails as she walked across the wood floor into our room and she hopped up onto the bed and curled up at my feet and looked at Steve.

"Some guard dog  _you_  are," I teased at her and she sighed.

I put the book down and crawled over to her and put my hands on her head and looked into her eyes.

"From now on I want you to tell me when people leave the house too, okay?" She blinked. "Even if Winter tells you not to tell me. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she chirped. "I will tell you when anyone leaves."

"Good," I said approvingly and I kissed her forehead.

Steve was asleep again when I scooted back to my spot and I smiled at him sadly. I moved him a little so that he wasn't sitting up so much and I resisted the urge to brush his cheek with my hand.

He stayed asleep for the most part this time; but he slept less soundly than Winter did. When Winter did actually sleep, he slept like he was dead and didn't move or talk with the exception of occasional snoring. Steve jerked around a lot in his sleep and mumbled things that I couldn't make out. I could see what he meant by nightmares.

I shushed him and rubbed his arm to try to get him to calm down and it seemed to work; he stopped twitching and his face slowly relaxed.

I sighed softly, content and comfortable and safe.

Steve stayed home for a few days and it took less than a week for Winter to heal completely.

I saw Ghost standing on the thawing, muddy lawn in front of Steve's apartment complex once, it was in the middle of the day and there she was. Watching.

I froze, knowing that if I so much as blinked she would vanish, and I dropped the cup I was holding to hopefully get someone's attention and it shattered on the wooden floor.

Steve and Winter both poked their heads out of their rooms to ask me if I was okay, but I didn't move.

Ghost raised one hand and waved at me slowly. She was moving strangely again, like invisible ropes were pulling on her limbs.

Noticing that I was acting strangely, Steve and Winter crept up to me and they both peered out of the window. Ghost was still there. She stopped waving and jerkily lifted her arm up to point at us.

I felt ice in my stomach and my eyes burned from not blinking.

"Is there something behind us?" I hissed and Winter whipped around to check.

"No," he answered, returning his attention to Ghost out on the lawn.

"What is she pointing at?" Steve mumbled, squinting at her.

I didn't blink, my eyes never strayed from her, but suddenly she was gone.

I blinked rapidly and let out the breath I realized I was holding.

Winter straightened up and turned around to look at me. Realizing that there were shards of glass all around my feet, he walked over and scooped me up in his arms.

"Ugh. She's so unnerving," I mumbled, resting my head against Winter's neck.

I noticed Steve shiver a little too. "I'd be less worried about her if I knew why she kept showing up."

"She might just be trying to scare us," Winter rumbled, gently setting me down on the floor.

I shrugged. "Maybe."

Later that night I was just about to go to bed with Io curled up next to me when a knock came at the bedroom door.

"You can come in," I said, sitting up.

Steve poked his head in and I instantly felt uneasy because of the look on his face.

"Dr. Martin have you seen Bucky?" He asked.

Dread clutched my stomach and I got out of bed. "No, not for a few hours."

I brushed past Steve into the empty main room of the apartment and I felt panic rise up in my chest.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you worry, it's just…" Steve shrugged. "You know. I didn't think he would leave without you."

"No he –" I broke off and I felt dizzy with fear. "He wouldn't, I –"

I took a deep breath to force myself to stop getting higher in pitch with every word that I spoke. "It's okay. We can find him. Io!"

Io jumped off the bed and came trotting into the living room. I noticed one of his jackets slung over the couch and I held it out to her.

"Let me look for him first," Steve asked and I stared at him.

"Io can find him right away, though," I argued.

"If he's confused he might not take Io so well."

"By that logic he won't take  _you_  so well either."

Steve smiled a little bit. "No, probably not."

I huffed and picked at my fingers in agitation. "Okay, fine, but I'm going too."

Steve argued, but I insisted, my voice growing in pitch as I panicked and panicked and panicked, and finally Steve gave in. He gave me some sort of device that would give him my location if I pressed the button and told me to press it if I found Winter or if I needed him.

He left the building to the right and I went to the left, walking quickly and tightening Winter's jacket around me. It wasn't so icy anymore, spring was creeping in, but it was doing so slowly and it was still rather cold and wet out.

I didn't know where to start looking for Winter; there weren't a lot of places open. He would likely be in an abandoned or closed building anyway.

I walked for ten or so minutes, discreetly investigating alleys, until I happened to glance into a bar and I stopped dead in my tracks.

Was that him sitting at the bar by himself? It was worth checking.

I pushed the bar door open and I noticed that a few large men were watching me from the pool table and I felt uneasy. It reeked of pot and sour whiskey in here.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I got closer to the man sitting at the bar and I realized that it  _was_  Winter; staring at the glass in front of him with blank, red eyes.

I was just about to reach out to him when I felt someone grab my arm from behind and yank me backward.

"Can't you read, little girl?" a large bald man growled at me and his foul breath made me dizzy. "No bitches allowed tonight."

I wretched my arm out of his grip and backed up toward Winter, but I bumped into someone else and whipped around.

There was a tall skinny man grinning down at me and I noticed that he had a swastika tattooed on his shoulder.

"Oh don't be so rude, Gunner," he said, stepping closer to me. "I think she's kinda cute."

I peered around the man to Winter, but he hadn't moved and he was just staring straight ahead.

"W –" I started, but the skinny man grabbed my face and cut me off.

"Don't worry about him, little girl," the skinny man growled wickedly.

I shoved his hands off of me and I realized that no one was going to help me. Winter was comatose, the five other men that weren't advancing on me were either playing cards or just drinking and not caring.

The skinny man raised his arm to grab me again, but a hand shot out from next to him and latched onto his wrist and twisted and I heard bone snap.

The man screamed and whipped around to see Winter with venom in his eyes, glaring up at him in rage.

I moved to dart behind him, but the larger man grabbed my wrist and yanked me into him, brandishing a knife and pressing it to my throat. I rifled through my pockets for the device Steve had given me, but I must have dropped it.

The skinny man was screaming at Winter and everyone in the bar (with the exception of the two men playing cards) had stood up at the sound of his wrist snapping. This wasn't going to end well.

The skinny man swung at Winter the same time that I made a fist and punched the large man in the balls.

He released me with a howl and all hell broke loose. Winter clocked the skinny guy in the face and I heard his nose break over all of the commotion and the rest of the standing men advanced on him. I managed to get away and crawl over to the bar. One of the men kneed Winter hard in the stomach, hard enough that it would have made me pass out, but Winter hardly even flinched and violently twisted the wrist of one of the men holding onto him, forcing the man to let go.

I wanted to do something. I wanted to help.

I noticed the bartender had gotten a .22 magnum out and was aiming it at Winter and fear gripped my belly. I stood up and grabbed the nearest thing to me, a bottle of vodka, and I threw it at him with all of the force I could muster.

It hit him in the head and he dropped the gun and toppled over and I jumped over the bar, intending to get the gun away from him.

He grabbed my ankle but I kicked him square in the face and then he was still. My shaking fingers found the gun in a bed of broken glass and vodka. I leapt up, still behind the shelter of the bar, ready to shoot someone if I needed to.

Winter was handling things on his own however; he was literally throwing men in every direction and the yelling and the shattering glass and yelling that filled the air was pierced every few seconds by the sound of bone snapping.

One of the men, the largest one that had grabbed me, managed to grab Winter from behind and was trying to wrestle him down onto the bar as he bellowed in anger. I grabbed another bottle and shattered it over the large man's head, spraying whiskey everywhere. Winter threw him off, but one of the other men grabbed my wrist and pulled me straight over the bar and threw me and I tumbled across the room.

One of the men advanced on me, and I noticed that he had a knife and that Winter was on the other side of the room, trying to fight through all of men holding him back as he desperately tried to get to me.

I reacted without thinking; I automatically raised the gun I had managed to keep in my hands and shot the man in the shoulder.

He bellowed in pain as his shoulder exploded into blood and I kicked his knee and he crumpled to the ground. I heard Winter roaring in fury followed by wood splintering.

Winter was in an unstoppable rage now, he had torn himself out of the throng of bodies and he had picked up an entire table and broken it over the man that had tried to attack me. I didn't need to do anything, I just backed out of the way and watched as Winter tore through the muscular, crude men as if they were made of paper.

After all of them were unconscious, Winter stood in the middle of the room amongst them, his blood-coated fists still shaking in rage.

"Winter…" I coaxed, stepping over the unconscious men to get to him.

He was glaring down at the ground, his jaw clenched. I gently put my hand on his arm.

"'M a monster," he slurred, and I shook my head.

"No, you aren't, you were defending both of us," I protested.

"I broke them."

I glanced down and noticed all of the blood and broken bones in heaps around me. That wasn't a false statement.

I noticed Steve darting outside of the window, looking in at us in panic. He went to open the door but I shook my head quickly and motioned for him to stay outside.

"Come on, honey," I said softly, gently taking his shaking fist in my hand.

He looked down at me and I smiled up at him. His dead raged expression lightened a little bit. I noted that he was definitely drunk.

He let me hold his hand and lead him out of the door. I glanced behind us one last time to notice that the two men playing cards had never gotten up and were still going about their game, completely undisturbed.

"What happened?" Steve asked the instant we got outside and I winced at how loudly he asked it.

"Shhh," I hushed him, trying to make sure things stayed quiet and clam now. "Those men attacked me and Winter rescued me."

Steve glanced at Winter in worry and I squeezed Winter's hand lightly. Winter frowned at Steve in confusion.

"Let's go home now," I suggested gently and Steve reluctantly nodded.

Winter was awfully unsteady; he could hardly manage to stay on his feet, never mind the side walk.

Steve ended up having to half drag him back to the apartment to which he mumbled halfhearted protests to.

Winter sat heavily down on the couch which groaned under his dropped weight. He put his head in his hands and didn't say anything.

Io trotted up to him and nuzzled his leg before curling up at his feet, content that everyone was accounted for.

"Winter how much did you drink tonight?" I asked gently, settling down next to him.

He didn't act as if he had heard me and he was completely still for a minute.

He jerked his head up and looked over at me, frowning.

"I don't," he started and then stopped. "I don't like that name anymore."

"What was my name?" he asked, looking over his shoulder at Steve.

"You're name is James Buchannan Barnes," Steve said firmly. "Most people called you Bucky."

"Okay," Winter swung back to look at me. "Call me that. I don't want to be who I was anymore."

"Okay," I agreed, tucking his long hair behind his ear.

"'Winter' isn't a name anyway," he mumbled, his eyes drifting partially closed. "It's a title; it's – it's a brand."

"Okay," I repeated, gently running my fingers through his hair.

He was still for several minutes. I noticed sirens wailing distantly as they sped by the building.

"I don't want to hurt people," he murmured and I noticed Steve fidget out of the corner of my eye.

"You won't have to, Buck," Steve said, leaning forward in the chair he was sitting in. "Never again."

Winter glanced at him tiredly and put his chin in one of his hands to hold his head up.

"I think remember your mom, Steve," Winter mused and Steve looked taken aback, but he smiled after a few seconds.

"Her – her name was Sarah," he continued, watching Steve. "She was nice…"

"She always loved you," Steve added and Winter nodded slowly.

"You wouldn't – you wouldn't stay with us after she died," Winter said, almost to himself as he sat up and stared out of the window. "You just stayed in that tiny little apartment all by yourself…"

I glanced at Steve, worried this was upsetting him. It was bothering him, I could tell, but he seemed happy that Winter was remembering something. "Yeah. I didn't want to be a burden."

Winter scowled and Steve chuckled a little bit.

I felt strange being here, with these two boys of war that had grown up in a world that didn't exist anymore. I felt a deep ache in my chest as I looked at them.

"I'm glad you weren't there," Winter said, turning his attention on me.

"Wasn't where?" I asked.

"In – in the war, Stella," Winter slurred. "It was horrible."

He got up and stumbled up to the window and looked out at the dark quiet street. "It was so  _cold,_ Stella. Too cold for you."

I made eye contact with Steve as I worriedly nibbled on my fingers.

"Too cold for anyone," Winter mumbled into the glass.

"This is the most I've heard him speak since… well, you know," Steve said in an undertone.

"Mm," I mused, watching Winter put his hand on the glass of the window.

"At least he didn't leave," I said quietly.

Steve nodded. "At least he didn't leave."

Winter suddenly fell over with a crash loud enough to wake up all of D.C. and I jumped off of the couch and Steve was instantly at Winter's side.

"He's asleep," Steve said, a slight smirk on his face.

I huffed in annoyance, my heart still thumping from that jump scare.

"Up you get, Buck," Steve groaned as he hauled Winter up. Winter must have been awfully heavy to give Steve strain and it occurred to me that maybe he was constantly  _trying_  not to throw his weight around when he was sober and that was why he seemed like an earthquake now.

Steve carried him into the spare bedroom that we slept in and set him down in the bed. He was snoring loudly now.

"I wonder how much he had to drink to get this drunk," I thought aloud.

Steve chuckled. "Way too much."

"I don't think that he's going anywhere in this state, but if he tries to I'll let you know," I said, crossing my arms and biting at my fingers.

Steve smiled at me. "Thank you, Stella."

Steve politely left us alone and I smiled to myself as I watched Winter snore with his mouth hanging open.  _Bucky_. I had to remind myself.  _He's Bucky_.  _Not Winter._

I got a glass of water to put on the nightstand next to him and I managed to work the leather jacket off of his unmoving body and I got in my pjs and crawled in bed next to him.

I read a chapter and a half of a novel I had found on Steve's bookshelves before Bucky startled himself awake and sat up and looked around him wildly.

"Bucky?" I asked, tentatively reaching toward him, worried that he was having some kind of flashback.

He turned to look at me, seeming surprised.

"You said it," he mumbled and I lowered one eyebrow.

"Said what?"

"My name," he leaned toward me eagerly. "Say – say it again."

I grinned. "Bucky," I repeated and he beamed at me.

"It sounds nice when you say it," he hummed and I blushed.

"It sounds nice when Steve says it too," I instantly blurted awkwardly.

"Everything sounds nice when Steve – says it," Bucky shrugged. "What was that other name he said I had?"

"Um, do you mean James? That's technically your first name, 'Bucky' is a nickname."

"Yeah, yeah that one," Bucky nodded. "You can call me either – either one, okay, just not 'Winter' anymore."

"Okay," I agreed and went back to reading.

"You can also call me 'honey' if you really want to," he slurred, grinning and leaning close to my ear and I felt my cheeks burn. "I should call  _you_  that more often, too."

"Honey," he mumbled, his nose touching my cheek. "Kotehok. Dollface. Babygirl. Do you like any of those?"

I knew that my face had turned bright crimson now and I giggled. "You are such a flirt."

Bucky chuckled drunkenly and scooted closer to me so that he was pressed against my side. "You're so pretty. I don't tell you that enough."

I closed my book and looked up at him, smirking. He was giving off a lot of heat, I noticed.

"You should really change shirts," I said casually, my eyes grazing over his goddamn huge biceps. "That shirt's... dirty."

It was really splattered with blood, but I didn't want to exactly say that.

"Can't," he mumbled, slouching over so that he was mostly laying on top of me. "'M too drunk."

I laughed and wriggled out from underneath him. "Fine, I'm getting it off of you then, that shirt is gross."

"'Kay," he replied, laying sideways on the bed and putting an arm over his eyes.

I pulled the shirt up, exposing his stomach, and he started laughing drunkenly.

"You're gonna have to work with me at least a little, sweetheart," I said, trying to work the shirt off of him but having no luck. "What are you giggling about?"

"Nuthin'," he chuckled to himself. "I just like it when you take my clothes off."

I rolled my eyes and he guffawed even louder, wriggling himself the rest of the way out of his shirt.

"What does kotehok mean?" I asked as he sat up and grinned at me.

"Oh, it means kitten," he said, reaching out to pull me closer to him by my leg. "'Cuz you're my kitten."

He nuzzled into my neck, his scruff tickling my neck and I giggled loudly.

"You better not call me that in front of Steve or Sam," I joked and he chuckled mischievously into my neck.

"I'm definitely gonna now," he slurred and I scoffed teasingly.

Bucky rolled onto his back and I looked down at him, smiling to myself. It was nice to see him so carefree for once.

"I'm tired," Bucky mumbled.

"Okay. Let's go to bed then," I hummed.

I switched the lamp off and moved to scoot close to Bucky. He moved his arm under my pillow and I rested my hand on his chest and looked up at him.

He was watching me intently and I chuckled softly.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I'm glad I met you," he said seriously. "HYDRA put me through a lot of shit, but… Now I have you."

I smiled at him and moved to put my leg over his legs. Bucky squeezed me and slowly moved to kiss my forehead.

"Goodnight, kotehok," he mumbled into my forehead.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," I chuckled contently and closed my eyes.

A deep rumble of thunder woke me up sometime later. I opened my eyes, not particularly startled, but definitely awake. I noticed that Bucky wasn't in the bed anymore.

I sat up and frowned, moving to turn the light on, but the power had been knocked out by the storm.

I yawned and eased out of bed and stretched.

Bucky wasn't in the room anymore and I poked my head into the living room.

"Bucky?" I whispered.

A loud clap of thunder answered me and the floor trembled under my feet.

I didn't like not being able to see and I was relieved when Io trotted up to me, her blue eyes cutting through the dark.

"Where's Bucky?" I asked her in a hushed voice.

She turned around and looked back at me, wanting me to follow her, so I stooped over to put a hand on her back so that she could lead me to him.

Io led me into the kitchen, strangely, where I could just see two shapes sitting on the floor.

A flash of lightening revealed that Bucky was huddled on the floor, facing the wall, and Steve was kneeling next to him and he was looking at me in the brief light.

It occurred to me that Bucky was probably having a flashback; he had to have had PTSD from the war and everything that HYDRA had done to him, and all of that alcohol couldn't be helping.

"Is he okay?" I whispered, stepping a little bit closer.

"I don't know," Steve answered. "Can you stay with him for a second? I'm gonna go get some candles."

"Sure," I replied and shuffled forward some more until I bumped into Steve.

He reached out a hand to steady me and I knelt down to sit by Bucky.

Steve got up and a flash of lightening illuminated Bucky's face and I had to force myself not to gasp.

He was staring tensely straight ahead, which wasn't unusual, but he was absolutely having a flashback of bombs and gunfire and being huddled behind anything large enough to shield him from the constant spray of bullets that hissed through the air like rain. He looked terrified.

"Bucky," I said in my normal volume, squeezing his arm. "Bucky, sweetheart, can you hear me?"

He didn't seem to.

A bellow of thunder shook the house and I felt Bucky flinch.

"It's okay," I soothed. "It's not bombs, it's just thunder."

He didn't move or seem like he heard me.

Steve came back in with an arm full of blankets and another arm full of candles and soon the kitchen was filled with warm, swaying light and Steve had wrapped a blanket around Bucky. Steve closed all of the blinds on the windows so that the light flashing wouldn't be quite so bad. Io curled up in the middle of the kitchen, tirelessly scanning the house for signs of danger as the storm battered the building into the night.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry im posting like 4 chapters at once haa

“Does it freak you out too?” I asked quietly, looking away from Bucky as I combed his hair with my fingers.

“…Sometimes.” Steve said quietly. “I can usually shake it off pretty well, but, not always.”

“…I’m sorry.” I said softly.

Steve shrugged. “I knew what I was signing up for when I joined.”

Thunder shook the house again and I yawned.

I dozed off eventually, curled up on the floor next to Bucky and I woke up a short time later to a particularly loud clap of thunder. I frowned and sat up, noticing that Bucky was mumbling something in Russian that I couldn’t understand. I looked around and saw Steve standing up and leaning against the fridge.

“He started doing that about fifteen minutes ago.” Steve said quietly. “I don’t suppose you know Russian?”

I shook my head and bit the inside of my lip.

“Sometimes he goes into his head and he won’t move or talk for a few hours.” I told Steve. “But this seems worse than that…”

Winter didn’t stop mumbling to himself until the storm blew itself out in the early morning. I drifted into sleep and jerked myself awake several more times and every time that I woke up Steve was still awake, watching Bucky with tired, worried eyes.

I woke up to morning light after what seemed like three nights and I yawned and sat up.

I had been moved back into the spare bedroom by someone; likely Steve.

Bucky wasn’t next to me. I noticed that the bathroom door was closed and I edged out of bed and tapped gently on it with my knuckle.

I heard shifting on the other side.

“Come in.” Bucky said quietly and I felt my face flush.

“Are you decent?” I asked.

“…Sure.”

I felt my face flush farther, but I poked my head in the door.

Bucky had filled the claw footed bathtub up with ice that he was lounging in, looking me over lazily.

I frowned, confused. “That can’t feel good?”

He shrugged and moved his gaze from me. “It’s familiar.”

I frowned a little bit and edged into the bathroom farther.

“How do you feel?” I asked after a minute.

“…Disoriented.” He mumbled. “Maybe a little hungover.”

I grimaced sympathetically.

“I’m sorry that you saw me like that.” He said bitterly.

“I’m not.” I answered and he looked up at me. I shrugged. “They were asking for it. If you hadn’t been there to beat them up god knows what they would have done to me.”

Anger crossed Bucky’s face.

I bit at my fingers and watched him in silence for a minute.

“I need to see Isabel.” I said finally. “I wanted to go back to the Smithsonian and see her there, I figured it would be a little safer than just waltzing up to her house.”

Bucky frowned.

“I knew you wouldn’t approve, but…” I shrugged halfheartedly. “I’d feel better if you went with me.”

Bucky contemplated that for a minute. “If you see her to let her know that you’re alright you could be endangering her.” He said.

I sighed heavily and sat down on the floor and put my face in my hands. “Ugh, I _know_. But I really really _really_ need to talk to her, Bucky.”

Winter put his chin on the edge of the bathtub and looked down at me.

He scowled somewhat.

“When are you wanting to go see her?” He gave in finally.

I lifted my head hopefully. “As soon as possible.”

“Alright.” He said quietly. “We should go today then.”

I pushed myself up and glanced around the room for a towel for Bucky and I strode across the bathroom to get one out of the linen closet.

Bucky got out of the ice bath, having no concern about modesty, and I felt myself blush into the closet.

When I got the courage to turn around after a minute to hand him the towel, I knew that my face was bright red, but I forced myself not to make any weird faces at him or let my eyes wander off of his eyes.

He hadn’t noticed and he nodded a curt thanks for the towel and started drying himself off.

I darted out of the bathroom just as Steve poked his head in the door.

“How is he?” He asked me.

“He’s –” I began, but stopped when I heard the bathroom door open behind me.

Bucky walked by me, not self-conscious in the slightest, using the towel to dry his hair.

“…Good.” I finished lamely.

Steve suddenly turned a very vibrant red, as if he had been lying in the desert sun for several hours.

“Oh, uh, I’m s-sorry.” He stuttered out clumsily and snapped the door shut.

Bucky raised one eyebrow at me.

“He doesn’t want to invade your privacy.” I explained. “Most people don’t want to be seen by other people when they don’t have clothes on.”

“Huh.” Bucky mused and I heard a belt rattle as he put pants on. “Should I act like that?”

“No, not necessarily.” I said, my back to Bucky. “Steve just doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I don’t care, though.” Bucky said. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah.” I answered, looking behind me to make sure that he was dressed.

Steve was sitting on the couch, a strawberry hue still coloring his skin, but he seemed nonchalant as Bucky told him that we were going for a walk. Steve smiled and said to call him if we needed him and we left him with Io.

We got a taxi to the museum and as I paid for our tickets I got Bucky one of those self-guided tour things with headphones that jabbered over everything so that hopefully he wouldn’t hear the word ‘Sputnik’ again.

I held his arm as we walked to help him avoid bumping into people and I started looking for Isabel.

We had the misfortune of bumping into Tristian and he recognized us immediately.

“Hey Alex and Chris!” He beamed toothily at us. “What brings you two here?”

“Do you know where Isabel is?” I asked him, glancing at Bucky to make sure that he was alright. His eyes were flitting through the crowd carefully, but he looked fine albeit uneasy.

“She’s back in her office.” He said, sniffing loudly like he had a cold. “I was just headed there myself, I could show you where it is.”

I couldn’t exactly refuse without suspicion, so I let him lead us to the back of the Smithsonian through an employee door.

I was just about to tell Tristian not to blurt out that we were here, but that was exactly what he did as we rounded a corner and he stopped in front of an open door.

“Hey Iz!” He said loudly and I scrunched by face up and resisted the urge to hit him. “Alex and Chris are here to see you!”

I instantly heard something being dropped and feet dashing across wood floor and Isabel leaned out of the door, eyes wide.

She gawked at us for half a second before regaining her composure.

“Tristian can you give the three of us a moment?” She asked calmly and I could tell that wasn’t what Tristian wanted to hear, but he reluctantly agreed and walked away.

The second he had rounded the corner Isabel swept up to me and lifted me off of the ground in a very tight hug that took my breath away.

“Stella where have you been!?” She exclaimed, trying not to raise her voice too much as she spun in a circle with me. “I’ve been so _worried_ about you!”

I hugged her back, happiness washing over me. “I know, I’m sorry. I was scared if I contacted you something bad would happen to you.”

Isabel sat me down, glowing at me, and I noticed Bucky watching us intently.

“OH, god!” Isabel exclaimed. “I have something important to tell you, come into my office.”

She ushered us into her office and closed the door and shut the blinds in the window of the door.

There were posters all over the walls and filing cabinets everywhere and a large desk that was neat but full of papers. A purple beta fish drifted around in a bowl on her desk.

“Sorry I had to take the other chairs out; Tristian leaves quicker if he doesn’t have anywhere to sit.” She said, pacing the room. “Steve Rogers and his friend Sam Wilson contacted me after the two of you left.”

I opened my mouth to tell her that we had already met up with them, but she didn’t pause to even take a breath in what she was saying.

“They seem trustworthy to me and they’re just trying to help you. In reality you would likely be much safer with the two of them then you would be on your own.”

“I know, they caught up to us and we’re both staying at Steve’s house.” I interjected quickly.

Isabel paused to take a breath like she was about to go into a well thought out speech about why we should trust Steve and Sam but she stopped herself and looked at me. “Oh. Well. Good.”

I nodded, picking at my fingers in worry. “Yeah, uh, he got caught by HYDRA again.” I said, nodding to Bucky who was still wearing the headphones and couldn’t hear anything we were saying. “Steve and Sam caught up to him before I did and now were doing our best to avoid running into them again.”

Isabel frowned in concern.

“There’s also been a girl following me around.” I said, shifting on my feet. “She calls herself Ghost and she can disappear into thin air and cling onto sheer surfaces and no matter where I go she’s always following me.”

Isabel shivered. “That’s startling. Is she…” She paused as if she was trying to find the right words, glancing at Bucky. “…Augmented? By HYDRA?”

I shrugged. “I have no idea. She said something about HYDRA pissing her off, which was why she was helping keep them away from me, so that isn’t out of the realm of possibility.”

Isabel nodded. “I can see why you avoided coming to see me.”

“Hm.” I hummed in agreement.

I didn’t want to think about HYDRA or Ghost, so I quickly changed the subject.

“How have you been lately?” I asked warmly.

“Good, I, uh, kind of have a girlfriend.” Isabel said shyly and I grinned. “Well not really; we just met two month ago, but she seems to really like me.”

“That’s great!” I beamed. “What’s her name?”

“Mary.” She blushed. “She really likes the exhibit that I’m working on.”

I was completely relieved. Relieved that Isabel had been safe in my absence and relieved that she was happy.

“Does Tristian know about Mary?” I asked teasingly and Isabel’s eyes rolled up to the ceiling in exasperation.

“Yes, he’s met her several times, but he acts like he’s the one dating me and I’m introducing him to my cousin or something.” She let out like she had been waiting to tell someone. “And he also figures that since I’m asexual that I couldn’t possibly be interested in dating anyone. I tried, several times, to tell him that asexuals will date people because we are still _romantically_ attracted to people, but it literally will not go through his head.”

I grimaced. “Have you told your superiors that he’s been bugging you so much?”

“Yeah, I have, but they say it’s harmless.” She said, crossing her arms. “And it is, I guess, it’s just _extremely_ draining.”

I glanced at Bucky. Maybe if Bucky said something to Tristian it would help make the message a little clearer.

“One of us could talk to him.” I suggested innocently.

Isabel laughed. “I’d _love_ that, believe me, but Mary really wants to be the one that breaks his heart.”

I grinned. “I’d probably like Mary.”

“You would.” Isabel said and a moment of silence followed.

“If you don’t leave too soon, well, and if it’s safe to contact me again… maybe you could meet her.” Isabel said hopefully.

“Yeah.” I said softly. “I’d really like that.”

I paused.

“I don’t think we’re going anywhere, but, I can never be 100% sure.”

Isabel nodded. “I understand.”

Isabel shook off the downtrodden look she had on and smiled at me. “It’s a relief to know that you’re both alright, though, and if you ever need somewhere to hide, my door’s always open to you.”

 

…

 

We talked with Isabel for about an hour, but she was at work after all, so we couldn’t stay all day. I promised that I would contact her again whenever I felt it was safe to and she assured me that that was perfect. I didn’t want to say goodbye to her again and I made my chest hurt to hug her in parting again.

Steve was visibly tense as we walked in the door, but he relaxed like he had been anxious for us to return.

We ate dinner together and Bucky and I retreated into our room for the night.

I woke up alone the next morning, but that wasn’t unusual. The boys usually got back from their morning run at eight and I was usually awake before that.

I made myself some coffee and watched the sky get lighter, happy that the dark chill of winter was gone.

Io was lying down in front of the door as usual when she leapt onto her feet and bared her teeth at it silently.

Panic twisted my stomach and I put my coffee cup down without making a noise and I backed into our bedroom where there were several guns under Bucky’s side of the bed.

I crouched behind the bed with my back to the wall, the handgun shakily trained on the door as Io paced in front of it.

For a few tense minutes nothing happened and all I could hear was blood pounding in my ears.

I frowned and lowered the gun, wondering if something was wrong with Io’s sensory apparatus.

There was an earsplitting crash behind me and I felt something grab be around my waist and shards of glass scratched my arms.

I whipped around to see some man with horrible scaly green skin had burst through the window behind me and he was dragging me out of it.

Io leapt on him but he swatted her off easily. I shot at him but I saw that my bullets weren’t piercing through the scales on his body. I also noticed that they weren’t scales; his body was covered in shards of a sickly green crystal. His eyes were yellow and slit like a lizards and he screamed at me, showing off long fangs of the crystals that covered his mouth and he leapt out of the window with me.

I heard Io screaming and I heard a crack as we hit the pavement and my vision left me.


	12. CHapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late night shenanigans and also tony stark

I woke up sometime later standing in the middle of a forest. It was night now and I heard crickets chirping around me. I had a splitting headache.

I gasped and recoiled, realizing I had metal plates all over my arms and a thought flashed through my mind that I had gotten impaled by something but when I clawed at them and they instantly fell off of me. The pile of metal that had clung onto my skin looked like pipes and black sheets of steel. I noticed a license plate among the scraps.

Fear rose in my belly as my eyes scanned the dark woods around me.

I had no idea where I was.

Head throbbing, I padded cautiously through the moonlight woods. Blood dripped into my eye and I wiped it off on the back of my hand. I was too scared to call out, scared that the crystal covered man might be in here somewhere too.

A gust of night air blew past me and I thought that I heard a voice.

I whipped around and saw a split second of movement as someone darted out of my vision.

“ _This way_ …” The voice whispered.

What the fuck no.

“ _Why should I_?” I hissed back.

“… _He’s still here_ …” The voice rasped. “ _Hurry_ …”

I heard an animalistic scream somewhere distantly and I flinched. I decided that between the whispering creature and the crystal monster, I would take the quieter of the two.

I followed where the voice led me, catching glimpses of something white in the woods ahead of me every so often. It took me several minutes to work out who I was following through my pounding headache.

“Ghost?” I asked softly.

“ _Keep moving, girl_ …” She answered in a quivering voice.

“Where am I?” I insisted.

“ _I’m trying to help you, just keep quiet_ …” She pleaded, unhelpful as usual. Fear colored her high voice and I couldn’t help but shiver.

I heard a loud snap behind me and I turned around to see something barreling though the woods after me, gaining on me quickly.

I felt something grab my wrist and I whipped around to see Ghost as she started pulling me through the woods.

“RUN!” She shrieked and the monster chasing us bellowed.

I ran after her blindly, thorny bushes cutting my legs and branches whipping my face. I eventually had the misfortune of tripping over a root and I crashed headfirst into the ground.

I saw the thing stampeding through the trees like a bull and I froze for an instant.

“GIRL FOR GOD’S SAKE!” Ghost shouted, heaving me to my feet and throwing me behind a tree and wrapping her arms around me.

I gasped out loud; it was like falling through a sheet of ice into the arms of a frozen lake.

She clamped a frigid hand over my mouth and hissed at me to shut up.

The crystalline beast skid to a halt right next to us, baring its needle pointed teeth and sniffing the air. It swung its head to look right at me, but its blazing eyes passed seemed to pass through me.

It growled and lumbered away, and I noticed that it had sharp spines made out of the same peridot crystals protruding out of its back.

Ghost and I stayed frozen for a few minutes, too scared to move.

“I think it’s gone.” Ghost whispered, letting go of me.

I shivered violently and hugged myself. I felt like it was winter all over again and I was asleep in that snowy barn, waiting for Bucky to come back and knowing he never would.

“Sorry.” Ghost apologized, her ice blue eyes flitting around nervously. “I know that’s not pleasant, but it was that or that thing was gonna catch you.”

“Wh-where are we?” I asked through chattering teeth.

“Oh, um,” She glanced around and shrugged. “I have no idea. Still in New York, like the state. Out in the middle of nowhere.”

“What happened to me?” I asked. “I remembered that guy grabbing me and pulling me out of the window, but that’s it.”

Ghost’s eyes wandered to the sky and she chewed on her lip. “Well that thing wasn’t alone. They threw you in a van and I followed you guys for a while and you made them crash. All the human people died, but that thing didn’t and neither did you.”

My throat tightened. “What? I don’t remember that.”

Ghost shrugged exaggeratedly. “I dunno man, I’m just telling you what I saw.”

I wanted to prod her more, but the cold was making it hard to focus. The night was wet and the wind was biting and all I had one were the shorts and tank top that I had fallen asleep in.

“Well…” I said after a minute. “Let’s start walking I guess.”

We walked for an hour until we found a road and it started to rain. I couldn’t feel my feet or my hands but I didn’t let myself stop. Bucky and Steve had to know about that monster. What if it went back after them?

After what felt like another hour we stumbled upon a gas station that was glowing like a grimey miracle.

The woman at the desk was bewildered to see me, soaked to the bone in my pjs, but she let me use her cellphone to call Steve. I noticed that Ghost hadn’t followed me into the store and she was nowhere to be found.

Steve picked up after two rings. “Hello?”

“Hi, Steve. Uh. It’s Stella. I’m in… um…” I pulled the phone away from my mouth. “I’m sorry, where-where are we?”

“…Arietta.” The woman said, still staring at me like I had two heads.

“Arietta.” I repeated to Steve. “I don’t know how I got here.”

I heard a shuffle and muffled yelling for a second and then Bucky’s voice came through the phone.

“STELLA?!” He shouted and I recoiled away from the phone. “WHERE ARE, YOU ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”

“Yes, I’m fine Bucky, I’m in Arietta.” I said, rubbing my bare arms to warm them up. “I’m just cold and I don’t know how I got here.”

I glanced at the woman on the other side of the counter. “Just get here as soon as you can, okay?”

“We’re on our way.” He vowed. “Stay where you are, Sam will be there before us.”

“Okay.” I said, giving the cashier an awkward smile.

Bucky fussed and grilled me about my condition and how I had gotten there. He panicked when I tried to hang up and give the woman back her phone and Bucky insisted that I stayed on the phone with him until he got there which would take at least three and a half hours even if they were speeding.

The woman seemed alright with it though, and she gave me a sweatshirt that she found under the counter to wear because I was still soaked and trembling from the cold.

Sam arrived half an hour later and marched into the gas station in full Falcon gear and the woman’s jaw dropped at the sight of him.

“Hey.” He said to me and I heard Bucky chirp ‘Who’s that’ on the phone.

“Hi Sam.” I smiled at him and he moved the red goggles away from his eyes.

“Here, I Bucky gave me some of your clothes because you said you were cold.” Sam said, handing me a backpack he had strapped to his stomach.

“Oh thank god, I’m freezing.” I said gladly and I grabbed it and scurried into the bathroom to change.

It felt amazing to get out of my wet clothes and I noticed that I had a large angry cut on my forehead in the mirror. I had blood smeared all over my face and when I leaned closer to the mirror I saw that little pieces of glass stuck out of the gash on my forehead.

I decided I would ignore them for now and I padded out of the bathroom in jeans and a sweater. I still didn’t have shoes but this was a significant improvement.

“Thanks for sending clothes with Sam.” I yawned into the cellphone. “This is much better.”

“Good.” Bucky said softly.

There were booths in the closed sandwich shop built into the gas station and I slunk in there while the cashier was chatting Sam up and I put my head on one of the tables.

“The cashier’s flirting with Sam.” I told Bucky sleepily over the phone.

“Are you still cold?” Bucky asked worriedly. I smiled.

“No, not anymore.”

I drifted off into sleep, curled up with the cashier’s cellphone. I stopped giving two word answers and then one word answers until I was just mumbling vaguely every time Bucky asked me if I was still there.

I woke up sometime later in a warm car and for a second I panicked and thought that I had been captured again and I sat bolt upright.

The car radio screeched static for half a second and the car swerved a little bit and I felt someone scoot close to me.

“Stella?” Bucky’s voice asked a bit loudly and my tensed muscles relaxed. I was okay.

“Hi.” I said quietly and Bucky’s eyes looked me over.

“What happened, who took you?” He demanded. He was livid and he was talking loudly but when he reached out to touch my face he was gentle. I put my hand over his hand and leaned into his palm.

I heard Io barking from in the trunk and I loudly assured her that I was alright and she settled down.

“I don’t know who or what it was.” I began tiredly. Sam and Steve were listening intently from the front seat and Steve glanced at me in the rearview mirror.

I told them all about the strange armored creature that had attacked me and pulled me through the window of Steve’s apartment. I rationalized that it had likely been allied with HYDRA because Ghost had said it wasn’t alone. I didn’t know how to tell them I got away from it and ended up in the middle of the woods because I still had no idea myself.

“Maybe Ghost got you out somehow?” Sam offered. “Maybe she can do more than we thought she could.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Well for now it it’s not a good idea to go back to my apartment.” Steve mused. “I don’t know where –”

He stopped abruptly to swerve around the crystal monster that had leapt out in front of the car and I let out a scream.

The crystal plated creature shrieked and thundered after us, overtaking us easily.

I felt Bucky grab a hold of me and brace for impact and Steve attempted to shake it off, but it caught up to us and swiped at the back tires, sending us spinning out of control and into a ditch with a crunch of metal and glass breaking.

I was dazed but unhurt; Bucky had shielded me from most of the impact, but when I nudged him he didn’t react and panic gripped my stomach.

I heard the humanoid creature snort outside as it circled the car. I checked Bucky over to find that he was still breathing but a bloody wound on his forehead had left him unconscious.

There was a loud scream of metal as the creature ripped a hole in the door and seized me in a taloned claw. It dragged me out, kicking and screaming and stuck its horrible snout in my face to look at me. It nodded to itself, seeming satisfied, and it started to lumber away while it carried me.

Io had wriggled out of the wreckage and leapt onto my assailant’s head and tried to sink her teeth into its neck, but she might as well have been trying to chew through diamonds. The creature got annoyed and seized her in one of its hands and twisted her, snapping the frame of her body and he tossed her to the side.

‘IO!” I screamed, beating uselessly on the creature. “LET GO OF ME YOU FUCKING MONSTER!”

I heard a whine of energy and a blue blast hit the creature and it was thrown several feet away and it dropped me heavily.

I whipped up to see Tony Stark in his suit as he zipped by me and continued assaulting the monster with blasts. I realized that there were other suites too, blaring lights down at me and telling me to remain calm.

They landed and closed in on me, their metal fingers reaching out to me, and I started screaming again.

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” I screeched hysterically.

“Remain calm, we are trying to help.” The suit told me.

I kicked it as one of the other ones caught my arm and I desperately tried to get out of their holds, but it was useless.

Steve had pulled himself out of the wreckage of the car and he shoved the robots away from him and stalked up to where Stark had managed to hit the crystal monster into unconsciousness.

“What the hell are you doing, Stark?” He demanded, ripping his arm out of the grip of one of the robots. “Let go of her, she’s dealt with enough for tonight.”

“Well gosh Cap, I would, but as it turns out she’s a HYDRA agent.” Stark replied, the suit of his armor making his voice sound slightly auto tuned. “So…” Stark shrugged. “I’m gonna have to take her.”

“Like hell you are.” Steve growled and stalked up to me, throwing the robots off of me. I landed on the ground heavily and Steve helped me up and shielded me from Stark while he argued with him.

I saw the robots scooping up the warped body of Io and I saw them using a laser to cut into the car.

Sam pushed past the robot the instant that a hole had been cut into the car, looking dazed but unhurt. I saw them drag Bucky out where he landed on the ground with a thump and didn’t move.

My throat constricted and I darted away from Steve and ducked under the outstretched arms of the robots and I knelt in the mud next to Bucky.

“Bucky.” I whispered urgently as I shook him. “Wake up.”

He grimaced with his eyes still closed and I breathed a sigh of relief. He blinked several times and sat up, confused.

I noticed that Stark and Steve had stopped arguing and they were looking at us.

“And then there’s him too.” Stark said, landing on the ground and walking toward us. “’The Winter Solider’ with about 29 assassinations under his belt including but not limited to: John F Kennedy, Robert F Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., and both of my parents.”

Bucky got to his feet and moved like he was going to run at Stark, but I got in front of him and pushed him back.

“I’m taking them both into custody.” Stark sniffed nonchalantly. “They’re fugitives, HYDRA agents, and they’re both dangerous.”

Five of the suits had lifted up the crystal coated monster and were flying away with it. I heard a weird ringing in my ears.

Steve stepped in front of Stark as he walked toward us and I noticed his hands shaking. “Step back, Stark.” He said in a dangerously calm voice. Sam was stalking around slowly by the car and I realized that we were going to have to fight if we were going to get out of here.

The suits were closing in on us and I started shaking.

“I’m taking them no matter what you do old man, you might as well get out of my way.” Stark said simply.

Two things happened at once then; one of the suits grabbed my arm and Steve shoved Stark hard enough to send him back several feet.

I whipped around and lashed out at the suit. I don’t know why or how it happened, but the suit let out a weird screech and the plating on its face crumpled inward and it fell to the ground.

Bucky had gotten ahold of a gun somehow and was shooting at the suits and I heard a lot of yelling.

Stark knocked Steve several feet out of the way and flew at us, tackling Bucky and throwing him against the car.

I moved to grab onto Stark, but one of the suits grabbed me from behind and I heard an electric whir and the suit’s hands shocked me enough that I lost control of my limbs and I slumped over.

I heard Bucky scream angrily and I blacked out.

 

When I woke up I was in a brightly light cylindrical room and I sat up and gasped.

For the second time today I didn’t know where I was and I couldn’t hear anything. I scooted back until I bumped into the back of the glass prison and my eyes whipped around wildly.

I saw Bucky next to me in a glass tube like mine and I stood up and called out to him.

Bucky didn’t seem to hear me, he was focused on something outside of his cell, but I caught his eye and he strode up to the glass of his cell and put his hand on it.

His lips moved but I couldn’t hear him. My eyes widened and I briefly thought that I had gone deaf until I heard a shift in fabric and I whipped around to see a girl with dark brown hair and blue eyes. She was wearing black boots and a red shawl over a black dress and she was frowning at me. She looked vaguely familiar. She must have been what Bucky had been staring at.

“Wh-where-” I stammered.

“You’re in a warehouse.” She said in a thick accent. “Stark brought you here.”

Relieved that I wasn’t deaf, I looked around me and I noticed the crystal humanoid sitting in the middle of a cell to the left of me, staring at me unwaveringly.

“He brought that here too.” She said, crossing her arms. I assumed she meant Stark. “What is your name?”

“…Stella.” I said quietly, deciding that they already knew who I was.

She stared at me as if she was waiting for me to say something else.

“What’s yours…?” I asked after a minute.

“Wanda.” The woman said. “Wanda Maximoff.”

She was the enhanced girl that had been all over the news.

“Is it true that you work for HYDRA?” She asked, her eyes glowing in the harsh florescent lights.

“…I used to.” I said.

“What about him?” She asked, jerking her head over to Bucky.

I swallowed. “He didn’t of his own will.”

I couldn’t tell if she believed me or not.

“And him?” She asked, nodding to the monster.

His eyes were burning through the glass straight into my skin and I shivered, unable to look away from it for a minute.

“I don’t know.” I said quietly. “Probably.”

I turned around to talk to her but she was gone and a door in the middle of the room opened and Tony Stark sauntered through it.

“Oh good you’re up.” He said nonchalantly. “Hungry?”

My eyes flickered to the plate of eggs, bacon, and toast that he was holding. I didn’t say anything.

Stark waved his head back and forth a little bit. “So no? Not really?”

I watched him and didn’t respond.

He shrugged. “Alright.”

He waltzed over to the crystalline creature’s cell and a small chute opened that he dropped the plate into.

The creature whipped around and crawled madly to the plate and wolfed it all down, belched loudly, slunk over to the other side of the cell, and flopped onto the ground.

 Stark sniffed and looked away from the creature back to me.

“Cap’s already told me at least seven times that you don’t have anything to do with that tall drink of water over there,” Stark said, nodding to the crystal creature. “But frankly, I just don’t believe him.”

I still didn’t say anything.

He just looked at me and bounced on his toes a little bit. “Uh. Russian? Is it Russian you speak?”

He turned around and tapped on a counter and typed into it.

“Ваша любовь убила много людей и сломал много вещей.” A voice said through the interface Stark was using and I blinked and shook my head.

“No, I – I speak English.” I stammered.

“Oh okay that makes things easy.” He sniffed. “Uh, first, I’d like to clear something up.”

I didn’t answer so he went on talking. “Is Cap your boyfriend or is Buckshot over there your boyfriend or is he Cap’s boyfriend? I know it’s rude to ask but I honest to god can’t tell.”

“I – none – none of us are dating.” I spat out, blood rushing to my face.

He raised his eyebrows. “Are you sure? That seemed like sort of a weak answer.”

I blinked and shook my head and stammered and he nodded like that made sense to him.

“Alright, since that’s all cleared up.” He said mockingly. “Is that armored enhanced a HYDRA experiment?”

I blinked and tried to answer before he said anything else. “I mean probably. I wasn’t introduced to it when I worked with them but there was a lot of stuff HYDRA did that I didn’t know about.”

“Yeah because it’s not like you ever worked with physically enhanced killing machines, right?” He fired back.

He paused in his barrage of questions and just stood there for a minute, studying me.

The door behind him opened and Steve stalked out, looking utterly livid.

“You’ve got no right to keep them here.” He barked at Stark instantly.

It’s not like they’re law abiding citizens.” Stark retorted. “They’re killers and I’m surprised you were harboring them.”

They got into a heated argument and I glanced over at Bucky. He was watching Stark, rage twisting his face.

I noticed that I had become a point of their argument and they were both looking at me now.

“She’s another problem altogether.” Stark was saying. “She’s an enhanced HYDRA spy, and while you’re smitten with the ‘cute little girl’ clichés, I’m not.”

Anger spurred my belly. “What are you talking about?”

“Your acting is poor.” He explained and I felt my face burn in embarrassment. “At the very least you could have taken an acting class to prepare for tricking Rogers, or whatever it is you’re trying to do.”

I couldn’t think of a comeback and I felt my nails biting into my palms. Steve was staring at me. Was he listening to Stark? He didn’t believe him… did he?

I had to focus on something else. Anything else.

“She’s not enhanced, Stark.” I heard Steve say. “And she isn’t a spy.”

“I have proof that she’s enhanced.” Stark said. “I guess I don’t have proof that she’s a spy, yet, but I am _swimming_ in evidence of her being an enhanced.”

I was ripping at my nails again and I was shaking, staring at Stark intently. “What…”

“Well for starters there’s this… thing.” Stark said, bringing up a picture of Io on one of the see through screens that were pretty much everywhere. Io looked like she was back in shape, like he had fixed her and she was pacing around in circles and looking around at everything.

“This thing,” He said, pointing at the screen. “Should not work.”

Steve shot a glare at Stark.

“There is not a reason in the world that this thing should work. It’s made of about 95% scrap and three pieces of stolen tech. It’s garbage.”

I was taken aback.

I got to my feet and stalked toward the glass. “What?”

“This is trash.” He repeated. “It shouldn’t work. But it does.” Stark crossed his arms. “It works because you wants it to.”

I just glared at him for a minute and I felt my left eye twitch.

“YOU made your first suit in a FUCKING _CAVE_!” I barked loudly enough that I noticed Bucky twitch out of the corner of my eye.

“Yes.” He sniffed. “I did. But you’re not me.”

Had I not been in a glass cage I probably would have strangled him.

“Anyway.” He said, turning back to Steve. “She also managed to rip apart two of my suits with her bare hands. She touched them and they crumbled apart. So, all in all, it’s good and convenient that you couldn’t handle that guy over there,” He nodded to the crystal monster. “Or I would never have caught up with these two.”

“You’re not keeping them here.” Steve growled.

“Well you’re not taking them.”

They started arguing again and I looked over at Bucky. He tried to say something to me but I still couldn’t hear it.

I heard a metallic ping and suddenly I could hear Bucky, as if his cell had been sound proof before.

“–ou okay?” He was asking and he paused and looked over at Steve and Stark again.

“ _You_ know you’re dangerous, right?” Stark asked. “You understand why you can’t be let out into society, right?”

Bucky glared at him and I noticed his fists clench. “I don’t do that anymore.” He growled.

“Wow!” Stark exclaimed mockingly. “That _very_ nearly makes up for orphaning me. Beautifully spoken. ”

Steve barked at Stark that HYDRA had been brainwashing and torturing Bucky for nearly 70 years, but Stark didn’t seem to care very much.

My stomach was burning in rage and humiliation.

Bucky was reminding me of the storm I saw when I first met him. Bucky always looked hard and angry but it was rare that he showed this level of utter hatred.

I on the other hand felt like I was going to cry.

I heard a booming crash and I flinched enough that I hit the side of the glass tube.

The crystalline monster was throwing himself against the glass in my direction, attempting to break through it.

I cowered as it thudded against the glass again and I looked at Steve desperately. Stark brought up a screen and typed furiously on it, throwing glances up at the creature.

Yellow gas filled up the chamber and the creature stopped trying to break out and lumbered around drunkenly, screaming and howling inhumanly. The way it was acting almost made it seem as if it was excited about something…

There was an explosive crash and I was knocked backward into the wall of the cell.

I blacked out briefly due to hitting my head and I awoke a few minutes later to the acrid smell of smoke.

I blinked, dazed, and I heard someone grunting. Part of the ceiling had collapsed on top of my cell and broken it and I saw someone trying to get into my cell. It took me the better part of a minute to realize that it was Steve.

The glass broke finally and Steve kicked the shards out of his way and leaned his torso in, reaching toward me.

“Stella, can you crawl over here?” Steve coaxed and I shook myself and crawled over to him.

He pulled me out and set me down on the ground, worry in his eyes. “You alright? Can you hear me?”

I nodded and looked around. There was shrapnel and smoke everywhere and the crystal creature was gone. Bucky’s cell had been flattened by more of the roof collapse.

I seized Steve’s arm in panic and tried to call out for Bucky, but I inhaled a lot of smoke and coughed loudly instead. Steve shed his sweatshirt and gave it to me to cover my mouth with and strode to Bucky’s cell.

Steve tried to lift the beams off of Bucky’s cell, but they were too heavy for him.

“BUCKY?” Steve shouted loudly and I flinched.

“I’m fine!” I heard a muffled reply and my stomach twisted. “I’m stuck.”

Steve’s muscles bulged as he tried to heave the shrapnel off of Bucky, but it was futile. They were dug too far into the ground.

I got on my knees and tried to peer under it and I could just barely see Bucky as he tried to lift the metal enough so that he could get out from under it.

I felt useless.

“Bucky!” I yelled and then gave into a fit of coughing.

He stopped trying to lift the metal and noticed me and got on his knees.

“Stella you have to go.” Bucky shouted and I felt my panic magnify.

“No!” I shouted back. “I’m not leaving you here!”

I heard gunshots somewhere nearby and Steve knelt over me to shield me.

“We can’t leave him here.” I said desperately to Steve.

“I can get him out.” Steve grunted, trying once more to lift the immobile wreckage.

“You have to leave though.” Steve said through gritted teeth. “It’s – HYDRA – They’re after you and Bucky.”

“I DON’T CARE!” I screeched and started coughing again, vividly remembering the bomb that had blown up part of HYDRA and nearly killed Bucky and I before.

I heard shouting and I heard a blast that had likely come from Stark’s suit. It was desperate and hopeless, but I knelt down next to Steve and started heaving on the wreckage too.

My body felt strange, like my very core was being tugged on by something I couldn’t see. I paid little attention to my body; all I could think about was Bucky and how we needed to get this wreckage off of him so that he would be safe.

There was a loud screech of metal and the tugging force on me magnified like my stomach was made out of lead, but I held myself up. Wires erupted from the ground, pushing against the wreckage alongside Steve and me. I noticed Steve staring at me like I had two heads out of the corner of my eye and slowly the debris shifted enough that Bucky was able to wriggle out.

I suddenly felt very weak and I collapsed down to my knees. Electrical wires wound together into thick cords had erupted from the ground and shifted the beam enough that Bucky was able to get out. Bucky and Steve were gawking down at me.

“Well Stark was right about one thing.” Steve murmured, kneeling down to help me get up.

I heard gunfire and Steve scooped me up and protected me with his body and I saw Bucky pick something up and throw it and the gunfire stopped.

“We need to go.” Bucky warned. Steve stood up with me and his hands lingered on my waist to keep me steady.

Bucky put his hand on my face. “Are you hurt?” He asked.

I shook my head.

“Can you run?”

I nodded.

Gunfire filled the air around us as we sprinted through the smoke. It turned out that I couldn’t run and I tripped over something in the blinding smoke but Bucky swept me up without missing a beat and pursued Steve through the smoke.

 


	13. chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour y'all, get yourself a nice cup of tea because smut lies ahead. I have also refused to watch all of the trailers for Civil War because i cannot handle it. I am the one that gave Tony a black eye. Enjoy.

Steve, Sam, Bucky, Io, myself, probably Ghost and maybe that crystal weirdo all got out and away from the fire, going as far as to retreat into Pennsylvania to hide.

“This sucks.” I said, leaning my forehead against the passenger seat window of our stolen car.

Io snorted from the trunk and Steve yawned in the back seat.

“Suck it does.” Sam agreed tiredly.

“What are we gonna do?” I yawned.

Bucky shrugged.

“We’ll figure something out.” Steve said firmly. “We’ll check into a motel somewhere and we’ll get on your laptop and we’ll find a direction.”

“Bucky smashed it.” I mumbled.

“They were tracking it.” He replied.

“Probably were.” Sam chimed in.

There was a muffled sneeze from the trunk.

“Why’s she sneeze?” Sam asked. “She doesn’t have, like, lungs.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, I didn’t program her to be a little shit but there she is. Be –” I yawned widely. “Bein a lil’ shit.”

There was silence for a minute and then Sam let out a noise like a balloon being let out of air and started guffawing loudly. I started laughing too, a barking, wheezing noise that came deep from my stomach and Steve started chuckling too and the car was filled with the uncontrollable sleep-deprived laughter of Sam and me.

The laughter cut off instantly when Bucky swerved into the opposite lane and almost collided head on with a semi.

Silence followed for a minute.

“Steve maybe you should –” I started

“Drive, yeah.” He finished.

We convinced Bucky to pull over and Bucky and I piled into the back and Steve and Sam got up front. Five minutes later Bucky and I were unconscious, snuggled in the back seat together.

I woke up some undiscernible time later in a bed that smelled faintly of cigarettes with Bucky curled up protectively around me. As much as I loved being in Bucky’s arms, he was snoring too loudly for me to fall back asleep.

I wiggled out of his embrace, yawning and rubbing my eyes. I grabbed a room key from the counter and stepped over Io. She sat up, almost making me tumble over her, and she asked me where I was going.

“Shh, I’m just going across the hall to Steve’s room.” I whispered to her. “Guard Bucky, okay?”

“Yes.” She nodded.

I glanced at Bucky to be sure that he was still asleep and I quietly slipped out of the door.

I tapped on Steve’s door and he opened it a minute later.

“What’s up? Are you okay?” He asked, frowning slightly.

“Yeah I’m fine, Bucky’s just snoring really loud.” I said quietly, nodding to our room behind me. “Can I hang out with you?”

Steve opened his mouth but I interrupted him.

“Oh, wait, I meant if you’re not sleeping.” I said quickly. “I’m sorry I didn’t think –”

“No it’s okay.” He said warmly. “Come in.”

I gave him a grateful half smile. “Thanks.”

Sam was sitting at the little table in Steve’s room, looking up from a stack of papers when I walked in to nod at me.

“You guys up doing homework?” I asked, sitting on Steve’s bed and hugging one of the pillows.

“Yeah, actually.” Steve replied, settling down at the table opposite Sam. “Hydra isn’t going to leave us alone, so Sam did some digging and I guess there’s a girl that might be able to give us insight into what they’re planning that lives about an hour away from here.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Oh, well that’s great.”

“Yeah.” Sam said and he and Steve just looked at me.

“Is… is that not great?” I said slowly.

“No it’s just…” Steve started and then paused. “Well, this girl is very particular about the people she wants to talk to and well… we were wondering – if it wouldn’t make you uncomfortable –”

“Zendaya Lightwell has a type, and her type is girls that look like you.” Sam said simply. “She wouldn’t talk to us and she has information that could save lives.”

I didn’t say anything for a minute and I felt my face redden. “You – you want me to try to get information out of some woman? How do you expect me to do that?”

“We – um – we aren’t sure just yet.” Steve admitted. “If that makes you too uncomfortable we can try something else –”

“No, I mean, I’ll try.” I shrugged, nervousness making itself comfortable in my stomach like a snake watching a mouse. “I don’t know how to go about doing that though.”

“Have a few drinks, try to talk to her, flirt.” Sam shrugged. “If that doesn’t go well we can think of something else.”

I bit at my thumb, running over a scenario in my head in which I spill my drink all over a tall, intimidating woman who snaps her fingers to summon two tall men who drag me into a back alley in order to break my kneecaps with a baseball bat.

“I can try that anyway.” I mumbled. “I don’t know how to flirt, though.”

“I can teach you.” Sam offered, smirking. “It goes without saying that I’m the best at that, but it seems like she prefers girls.” Sam shrugged. “I mean, I don’t blame her.”

Steve and I laughed. I always liked talking to Sam; he wasn’t nearly as serious as Bucky and made me less nervous than Steve did. Hanging out with him helped lessen my stress.

Sam and Steve kept talking, and even though the sun had barley set, I was finding it hard to listen to them and I ended up dozing off. When I woke up again the lights were off and I was tucked into Steve’s bed. I sat up and blinked several times. Steve was asleep on a couch that was much too small for him. I watched him for a minute, wondering how he had suffered and suffered and suffered, but ended up so kind. I put my blanket over him and slipped out of his room to return to Bucky.

Bucky was still sound asleep, but he wasn’t snoring anymore, so I laid down next to him, putting one arm under his head and pressing against his back.

He rolled over without waking up and snaked an arm under my waist and curled up into my neck. I kissed his forehead and went to sleep.

 

Zendaya was a powerful woman who was affiliated with the mafia, likely an enhanced with unknown powers, a possible HYDRA affiliate, and the owner of a popular club that was almost impossible to get into.

Sam managed to get our names on the list, but he gently informed all of us that we were going to have to step it up a notch with our outfits. I agreed, plus it would give me an excuse to go out and get something cuter than the usual stuff I wore. It was surprisingly hard to dress nicely when you were running for your life all of the time.

I went out and bought a black velvet dress that had a gold zipper on the right leg with sleeves that went down to my elbows. It had a scoop neck that showed off some cleavage, but not so much that it made me terribly uncomfortable. I got a pair of maroon heels to go with it. I thought that the dress suited me and I hoped that Zendaya thought the same thing.

“What do you think?” I asked Bucky as I sat on the counter of the motel and applied makeup in the mirror.

He shrugged. He was wearing his leather jacket, a white button down shirt with aviators hanging from the neck that I had unbuttoned a few buttons on. “You look different.”

I glanced up from doing my mascara. “Like ‘pretty’ different?”

He furrowed his brow at me, as if he thought that was a weird question. “Of course.”

I smiled and hopped off the counter.

Steve was wearing light blue jeans and a striped shirt under a dark gray jacket and Sam was dressed in a light blue shirt rolled up to his elbows, a gray vest and a dark tie. Sam had dressed all three of them.

I bit at my fingers as we got into a taxi. Sam chatted with the driver in the passenger seat and I sat squished between Bucky and Steve, wiggling my leg nervously.

“If anything bad happens, we’ll be right behind you.” Steve said quietly.

That helped, but only a little.

It felt as if I had eaten something squirmy for dinner and I found myself fantasizing about sinking through the floor of the cab, through the street, and into the sewers to live for several years.

I wasn’t sure how Sam managed to get us on the list that lets you walk past the line and the bouncers and straight into the club, but the next thing I knew I was in a dimly lit room full of people, head-poundingly loud trap music, and flashing green and blue lights.

“I don’t see Zendaya anywhere.” Sam shouted over the bass. “I’m gonna go get us drinks.”

I hovered behind Steve and Bucky as they weaved through the crowd to one of the blue lit pillars.

Sam brought all of us back drinks and I didn’t even look at what was in the glass before I snatched it out of his hands and gulped the fowl liquid down and made a face at the burning in my throat.

Steve and Sam both raised their eyebrows at me.

“It’ll help my nerves.” I explained loudly, grimacing. “Let me know if you see her, I’m gonna go wander.”

I forced myself away from the safety of my boys and meandered around the dance floor, which was a couple steps lower than the rest of the club. I bought myself two more drinks and I noticed that I was starting to enjoy myself a little bit. Every time I glanced around Bucky was leaning against the far wall watching me and Sam and Steve were farther away but they were giving me glances often enough to make sure I was okay.

I felt someone grab onto my elbow and I whipped around to see a tall, beautiful black girl with a head full of red tinged braids pulled into a bun behind her and full lips as purple as poison.

“Don’t turn around, but there’s a guy that’s been following you around for a while now.” She said quietly. “Big scruffy white guy. Do you know him?”

“I dunno.” I whispered loudly. “Where is he?”

“That’s him.” She said, nodding to a huge ginger guy that I had never seen before who met my eyes and quickly shuffled away.

I scowled, assuming she had been talking about Bucky. “Ugh, no, he’s nobody I know.”

I noticed Bucky had gotten caught up in a conversation with a tall brunette girl, but he was scanning the crowd and didn’t seem to be listening to her. Regardless, I felt myself blush angrily.

“Typical, isn’t it?” She scowled. “Sadly you have to expect that when you’re a pretty little thing wandering around all by yourself.”

It took me a couple seconds to understand that she had complimented me, but when I did I blushed and giggled loudly.

She smiled. “What’s your name?”

“Stella.” I blurted out.

“Stella.” She repeated, smirking. “That’s cute. I’m Zendaya.”

I nodded and smiled, having to force myself not to gasp loudly.

“Can I get you a drink?” She offered and I nodded enthusiastically. “Do you like tequila?”

“I _LOVE_ tequila!” I exclaimed. It was a lie; no one likes tequila and anyone that tells you that they do is lying.

Zendaya held out her arm and I happily took it. It was petty and I knew it, but I was tipsy, and I wanted to get really drunk and make Bucky jealous that I was hanging out with Zendaya instead of him.

After she took a shot of tequila with me and gave me another drink of a plum colored liquid she called ‘venom’ that tasted strangely like chocolate, I found myself jabbering on about my entire life to Zendaya. I told her all about the robots I had worked on, about Isabelle, about how hard I had studied in college and how little my parents had noticed.

Zendaya didn’t talk very much, but she was a good listener and nodded and commented when I stopped talking long enough to see if she was still paying attention. I noticed once how much she looked like a cat playing with a mouse, how her smile was a little bit too wide with, maybe, unless it was a trick of the light, too many teeth. But in my drunken haze, the thoughts quickly passed through my mind. Two more shots of tequila and one more shot of venom and I was loudly singing along to _Jenny_ by The Studio Killers, holding Zendaya’s hand and jumping up and down.

“Oh my god!” I shouted loudly, turning to Zendaya and nearly knocking the both of us over. “Do you wanna meet my boyfriends?”

She smirked. “I’d love to.”

I dragged her through the crowd, beaming and apologizing to other drunk girls as I bumped into them, to where Sam, Bucky, and Steve were all congregated by the wall.

“HEY!” I shouted as I stumbled up to them and threw my arms around Steve’s neck. “These are my boyfriends!”

Zendaya smirked wider. “All three of them, little thing?”

“Nuh uh.” I said, letting go of Steve who put his hand on my back to keep me steady. “Just these two.” I pointed right into Steve and Bucky’s faces and sniggered loudly.

“Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes, I assume?” She purred, putting her hand out to Sam. “Zendaya, as I’m sure you already know.”

“Uh yeah.” Sam said, taking her hand and shaking it and smiling at her. “It’s good to meet you.”

I giggled to myself and reached out my arms to Bucky and he walked over and I put my arms around his neck and buried my face under his jaw. “I drank a lot.” I slurred loudly.

“Yes, I know you did.” He said, amused. “I watched you do it.”

“Will you carry me?” I pouted.

“Not while there are people around to look up your dress.” He replied.

“Let’s go somewhere a bit quieter.” Zendaya suggested, glancing around her club as if it were a boring PTA meeting. “I feel as though there are a few things you’d like to ask me about.”

Stunned into silence, Sam and Steve followed her and Bucky mostly carried me after them while I tried to get the attention of every girl we stumbled past in order to tell them how pretty they looked.

Zendaya led us to a large mirror that stretched from the floor all the way to the ceiling. It looked out of place in the club – it looked ancient with its age spotted glass and intricately carved wooden frame. Everyone else was walking right past it without giving it a glance and when Zendaya’s hand reached out to touch the glass her hand just kept going and passed right through it.

“This way.” She said, still smirking unpleasantly at Steve and Sam, as she disappeared into the trick mirror.

The three boys exchanged glances and I poked Bucky in the cheek and started laughing loudly to myself.

The trick mirror felt cold to walk through, like striding quickly out of your house early in the morning to be met with a thick kiss of fog.  Behind the mirror was a staircase lined with flickering oil lamps that led down further than I was willing to go in my stilettos.

I jumped up into Bucky’s arms and gave him a large kiss on the cheek and asked him to carry me down the stairs with my lips still pressed to his face. I felt his face stretch into a grin and he began carrying me down the stairs.

The bass was still audible down in Zendaya’s hidden room, but it was much softer and my ears rang with the sudden absence of it and I wiggled out of Bucky’s arms.

The space Zendaya led us into was a stark contrast to the rest of the club; old hardwood tables overflowing with books and a system of speakers, jars of different colored things and makeup, a large fish tank took up most of the back wall was filled with eels peering out of old vases at us, and a large mantle with a roaring fire sat to our left with what looked like a deer head with too many eyes and Mardi Gras beads thrown all over its antlers hanging over it. A small kitchenette sat in one corner of the room with pink, 1950’s style appliances.

It was a strange mixture of old and new things that smelled of expensive perfume and old books.

“Sit, please.” Zendaya invited, sauntering up to the long dining table covered in candles. “There’s water in the kitchen, little thing, you should go have some.”

I tore my eyes away from the eel tank when Zendaya addressed me and I grinned and slurred out an ‘okay’ and tottered over to the kitchen. I heard Sam mumble that he didn’t know how I was getting around in my heels and I turned my nose up importantly.

 I rooted around in the cupboards for a plastic cup and filled it full of water. A bottle of whiskey sitting on top of the fridge caught my eye, but I made myself waddle away from it.

“After I drink all this water, then I can have more waskey.” I told myself out loud.

I kicked my heels off and poked my head around the wall that separated the kitchen from the rest of the room.

“…much has she had to drink tonight, exactly?” I Steve asked Zendaya.

“Not more than she is capable of handling.” She replied. “She would be in a much worse condition if she had drank out of the drugged cup she originally had, but luckily _I_ was keeping an eye on her.”

Anger crossed Steve’s face and I saw Bucky’s shoulders tense.

Zendaya noticed me over Bucky’s shoulder as I took a gulp of water and she smiled at me and gave me a little wave. I waved back without taking the cup from my lips.

“She had something else too, something I wouldn’t have given her had she been a plain human.” Zendaya went on and Steve and Sam exchanged a glance. “It’ll keep her from getting hungover but it’s a mild aphrodisiac, so if she’s acting funny later that’s why.”

Zendaya put her chin in her hand, her eyes lazily fixed on me, and sighed. “It’s too bad that she’s straight, she’d make –”

Whatever Zendaya had been about to say was cut off by me marching up to the table and putting my free hand on my hip.

“I am _nooot_ straight!” I huffed, taken aback. “What wou – what would make you say that about me?!”

Sam snorted and Zendaya smirked.

“Well, little thing, to be fair you did introduce me to your two _boy_ friends.”

“I’m bisexual!” I shouted. “Until lately I had mostly had _GIRL_ FRIENDS!”

I took a step backward and fell on my butt, spilling the cup of water I had been holding all over myself. Bucky and Steve both jumped up and I screwed up my face.

“GOD I’m so drunk and STUPID!” I blubbered loudly.

Bucky scooped me up and I clung onto his neck, muttering about how I wanted another shot.

“Maybe you should go home, little thing.” Zendaya offered.

“Nuh uh!” I protested, jerking enough that Bucky almost dropped me. “I wanna stay.”

Zendaya raised an eyebrow at Steve and I pouted at him, crossing my arms.

“You can stay if you want.” Steve said, a faint smile on his face. “Can you drink some more water though?”

I put my mouth on Bucky’s cheek. “Hear that? I need more water.”

Bucky chuckled and carried me into the kitchen.

Bucky and I spent the next two hours sitting on the kitchen floor. I told Bucky, several times over, how hot I thought he was and how often I thought about grabbing his butt. He didn’t understand either of these sentiments.

 It was very hard to sit like a lady and not flash him, but I thought I managed it alright.

I asked Bucky, in as quiet a voice as I could muster, whether he thought Steve was cute or not, which he didn’t answer, but the color that rose to his cheeks was answer enough.

I was focused on Bucky’s metal fingers, telling him that I should really open up his arm and make sure they were working okay while he watched me in amusement, when Steve padded into the kitchen and told us that it was time to leave.

I gave Zendaya a big kiss on the cheek and told her I’d visit again and I tried to sneak another shot from one of the tables upstairs in the club before Steve caught me and shooed me away from the table.

Half a dizzy hour spend in a cab later, we were back at our hotel. I hugged Sam and Steve goodnight and I held onto Steve for a lot longer than I realized.

I grabbed his face and told him, seriously, that I knew he wasn’t happy very often and I wished that he was. He gave me a surprised look and a sad smile that almost made me burst into tears.

I sniffled and also told him not to swim in the hotel pool, because I had seen a large, dead spider floating in it before I stumbled off, humming to myself, in the direction I thought Bucky and my room was.

I continued humming tunelessly once we got into our room, still surprisingly drunk for someone that had only had water to drink for two hours.

“James!?” I barked, swinging around from where I had been poking at my face in the mirror.

He jumped a little bit, sitting at the little table by the window. “What?”

“Can I put your dick in my mouth?” I asked seriously.

His eyes widened and color rose to his cheeks. “Wh-what? Why?”

“Cuz I want to.” I replied, putting my hands on my hips.

He just stared at me. “I don’t understand.”

“It’ll be fun.” I said sweetly, walking over to him slowly. “I promise.”

I leaned over his chair and put my hand on his thigh. He blushed deeper still as I leaned forward to brush my lips on his neck. His breath hitched and he let out a small gasp.

“Stella you – you’re just acting like this because of whatever that woman gave you.” He stammered, clenching his fists.

I pulled away from his neck, crestfallen. “Do you want me to stop?” I asked quietly.

Bucky’s eyes flicked between mine, unsure. “…No… well, I do if the only reason you’re doing this is because that woman drugged you.”

My eyes fell down to his lips and back up to his eyes. I moved to sit on his lap, tugging at the collar of his shirt and whispering into his neck. “Alcohol doesn’t make people do things they normally wouldn’t do, it just makes them braver.”

He sighed as I bit lightly at his neck and flicked my tongue over the bite.

I never imagined that Bucky would melt in my hands like snow in a fire, but he positively whimpered as I roughly kissed and bit at his neck and stuck my hand up his shirt to run my fingers over his abs. He was reluctant to touch me, his hands lingering just above my knees.

I stood up and sank slowly down to my knees in front of him, gripping the outside of his legs and kissing his inner thighs over the denim of his jeans. He inhaled sharply as I undid the button of his pants.

His cock twitched, free from his pants, and he looked down at me, slight alarm under all of the heavy lust in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” I asked, tilting my head slightly. He nodded, jaw clenched. I giggled as I slid my tongue up the length of his cock and he gripped the table with his right hand and tilted his head back.

“Fuck.” He hissed and I grinned wickedly.

I wrapped my tongue around his cock and flicked the tip, drooling all over him as I did. I loved the way it made his lips part and drew moans from his throat.

He moved like he wanted to put his hand on the back of my head, but he stopped himself. I looked up at him innocently and gently placed his hand on the back of my head.

“It’s okay.” I soothed. “I’ll tell you if you hurt me, okay?”

His face was flushed with desire now and he was panting, but he nodded.

I took him into my mouth, earning a moan loud enough that our neighbors surely heard, and his fingers gripped my hair.

I couldn’t get him all the way into my mouth without gagging, which I knew would freak him out, but when I put my hand in front of my mouth it hardly mattered.

He hissed and tugged at my hair, encouraging me to go faster, and I happily obliged.

It didn’t take long until it was too much for him and his panting became heavier and he kept hissing ‘fuck’ and ‘Stella’ under his breath and not long after he broke a good sized chunk of the table off and let out a strangled moan as he filled up my mouth with his hot, sticky cum.

He collapsed into the chair with his mouth hanging open and I giggled and swallowed.

I put my cheek on his thigh and sighed and he gently his fingers through my hair.

“Holy shit.” He panted and I hummed.

Bucky didn’t move for a few minutes until I got up and stretched on my toes.

I wiped at my cheeks, realizing my eyes were watering. I went into the bathroom to clean my makeup off, grinning in satisfaction at my reflection who had mascara running down her face.

I peeled off the black dress, noticing how uncomfortable I had been in it for several hours, and then remembering that my bag was across the room.

I peered out of the bathroom door. Bucky was surveying the damage done to the table and I noticed Io watching me from under the bed. I let out a while, registering that she had been in here the whole time.

Bucky heard me and turned around.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, worry flashing across his face. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

I shook my head and pointed under the bed. “Io was watching.”

Bucky glanced down at Io who gave a huff and wiggled further under the bed. He shrugged.

“What happened to your clothes?” He asked, frowning.

I looked down at myself, trying to recall why.

“Oh! I was gonna change into pjammies.” I slurred. “Can you get my bag for me pretty please?”

He did and I beamed at him. He frowned slightly at me.

“You’re still pretty drunk, huh?” He mused and I shrugged and pulled one of his shirts that I had taken long ago over my head.

I laid on the floor next to the bed and apologized to Io for a bit and then went into the bathroom and turned the tap on full blast, feeling as though it were urgent that I took a bath.

I poured all the hotel shampoo into the tub which made a disappointingly small amount of bubbles, but better than none.

Bucky leaned against the doorframe, evidently worried that I might drown myself if I were left alone in the bathtub. He had to turn the water off because the tub was getting too full; I wanted it to be up to the brim, but he gently reminded me that we already had to pay for the broken table and we didn’t need to ruin the bathroom floor as well.

“You can come in here too if you wanna.” I told him, patting the water in front of me. “It’s not that hot.”

He raised one eyebrow at me and I held my hands out to him and frowned, grabbing at the air.

“C’meeeere.” I pouted and he chuckled, his eyes flickering to the hotel door, and he shouldered his jacket off and started unbuttoning his shirt.

I watched him undress with the rapt attention of a toddler watching their favorite cartoon, mouth slightly open as I gawked at how beefy he was.

He sank into the tub in front of me and the water level rose almost to the brim.

“Are you supposed to be wearing your underwear in here?” He asked, his eyes flicking down to my chest.

“Huh?” I asked dully, glancing down at myself. I was still in both my bra and my undies.

“Oh.” I shrugged. “Huh uh.”

Bucky laughed and I studied him, reminded of how much I loved it when he laughed or smiled.

Bucky raised one eyebrow at me. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

 “I just like you.” I said simply, looking at his hair. “Can I wash your hair?”

Bucky let me, but he had to turn around and lean back against my knees for me to be able to reach his head. I didn’t properly wash it; I had dumped all of the shampoo in the tub, so I just scooped water over it and gently ran my fingers through it while humming off-tune. Bucky seemed to thoroughly enjoy it.

I dozed off, leaning over the side of the tub and I started awake as Bucky hoisted me out of the water and wrapped me up in a towel.

He set me down on the bed while he got dressed and I was more than happy to sleep in my wet, cold underwear, but Bucky wouldn’t let me be.

“You’ll get sick if you sleep in wet clothes.” He insisted, trying to rouse me. “You can either dress yourself or I will.”

I said “Feh” and held my hand up. “Gimme that shirt I was wearin please.”

He got me the shirt and some dry underwear and I wiggled out of the wet stuff and into the warm, dry clothes that smelled like Bucky. I crawled under the covers and reached out for Bucky. He got into bed and held me to his bare chest and I sighed, enjoying the warmth coming from him.

 

I stayed in my confused, drunken haze for three days.

I tried my hardest to behave, but Bucky, Steve, and Sam essentially had a drunk toddler on their hands.

I couldn’t walk straight, talk properly, or look at Steve, opting to bury my face in my hands when he addressed me. I was scared I would tell him something mortifying and I constantly had to stop myself from reaching out and squeezing his pecs.

Steve and Sam went back to the club to find Zendaya in order for her to undo whatever she did to me, to find both the club and Zendaya gone. The building that just the night before held a raging party now only had a thick layer of dust on the bare floor and several rats that scurried away from them when they shined a light on them.

I kept making machines break too; I stumbled by the soda machine in the lobby and it started hissing and launching canned drinks out at me and everyone else until Bucky whisked me away from it. I did the same thing to the ice maker and we had to unplug the tv because it kept turning onto channels with white noise.

I cried a lot, seemingly for no reason, inwardly hating myself for being such a burden.

I built a haphazard fort in the corner of Bucky and my room out of all the blankets and refused to come out.

Bucky apparently didn’t know how to handle this, because when I heard someone poke their head into my tent, I peered out of my blanket nest to see Steve’s head and shoulders rather than Bucky’s.

I let out a strangled ‘ep!’ and buried myself in the blankets, hoping he would leave if he couldn’t see me.

Steve chuckled, making me peek out of a tiny hole in the blanket at him.

“I take it you’re still pretty confused, huh?” He asked gently.

I was quiet for a minute before giving a muffled ‘uh huh’. He smiled

“I’m sorry I let this happen to you.” He said quietly. “I should have done something, getting information from Zendaya wasn’t as important as your safety.”

I sat up, the blankets falling around my shoulders.

“Did you even… like… get information from her?” I mumbled, too quietly.

“Hm?” Steve said softly, leaning toward me.

“Did she tell you anything?” I repeated.

“Oh, yeah she did. It’s helpful if it’s true. She told us that HYDRA is desperately trying to kill Bucky because they can’t control him and that they’re finding enhanced people like you and trying to use them.” He mused, a hard look on his face. “She also told us that someone named T’Challa is hunting Bucky for something he did while he was under HYDRA’s influence. T’Challa came to her before we did and she gave him a lead on us, so we don’t know how far behind us he is.”

I must have been visibly upset because Steve quickly said “You don’t need to worry about that now though, you have enough to worry about.”

I sighed, hugging a pillow to my stomach.

“Oh, and, uh, I saw this in a store and I thought you might like it.” He took a plastic bag from behind his back and handed it to me.

I raised my eyebrows at him, very unused to people giving me presents, and I looked in the bag to find a very soft stuffed dear with pink fur and a blue bow around her neck.

“I just thought you might like it.” Steve said hastily. “It’s okay if you don –”

Steve was cut off as I tackled him, knocking the blanket fort down on top of us, and hugged him tightly.

“I – LOVE – IT!” I bawled, tears pricking my eyes. “STEVE! I – I –” I gasped, unable to put into words how happy I was that he had seen this cute little deer and thought of me.

He laughed, genuinely, trying to get the sea of blankets off of us and sitting up with me still clinging to his neck. I held in my dumb crying as best I could and Steve gingerly hugged me and rubbed my back.

“If it upsets you that much I can take it back.” He joked and I laughed, still trying not to cry.


	14. ch 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry i havent updated in a while, this chapter's twice as long as the ones I usually post to compensate. Y'all are fantastic and so so patient c:

After three agonizing days of feeling like I had just downed seven shots, the venom finally wore off. Timing couldn’t have been better because as we were leaving the hotel we had been staying in, we got into a firefight with some HYDRA agents right there in front of the building.

Glass shattered and Bucky threw me behind a parked car and Io tore out from behind the shrub she was hiding in and ripped one of the HYDRA agent’s arms clean off.

He screamed and I heard someone else scream from inside the building and Steve threw his shield and sent one of the HYDRA guys flying. I shouted at Io to get civilians out of the way and she leapt through the broken window into the hotel.

The fight didn’t last longer than five minutes and we threw ourselves into our stolen car and tore off.

The sun hadn’t even gotten over the horizon, the pale light cast a pink glow on the blood-spattered concrete behind us.

No civilians had died, but an innocent woman had gotten shot in the stomach and was in critical condition in a nearby hospital. Later on the screen of the next motel tv, the reporter said they suspected gang activity.

Bucky woke me up really early the following morning by clamping a hand over my mouth and nearly giving me a heart attack.

“Jesus.” I hissed at him, throwing his hand off of my mouth.

“We need to leave.” He said, barley above the silence in the motel.

“What, why?” I whispered back, rubbing my eyes and checking the clock. 3 am.

“We can’t be with Steve anymore.” He said simply. “They’re blaming him for HYDRA trying to kill me. Get dressed.”

My reply stuck in my throat for a minute.

“Wh-what we can’t just leave.” I sputtered.

Bucky threw some clothes onto me and gave me a hard look. He wasn’t joking. Not even a little.

“We’re gonna get him and Sam killed if we stay with them.” He said lowly, his eyes flicking to the door. “Stella please –” His voice raised a little as I opened my mouth to argue and he clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut. “Don’t argue with me we have to go, _now_.”

In a daze, I got dressed and followed Bucky out of our room. My eyes lingered on the door to Steve’s room, briefly wondering if I should pound on the door and wake him up. Bucky wasn’t wrong though… yesterday had been way too close of a call.

We got into our car and I hid Io in the trunk and sat in the front seat, hugging the stuffed deer Steve had given me while tears pricked my eyes.

“HYDRA is still going to try to kill him, you know.” I said thickly as the motel faded in the rearview mirror. “The two of us leaving won’t stop that.”

Bucky was gripping the steering wheel so hard I was surprised it didn’t snap. “I know. But this will take some of the attention off of him and that goddamn secretary of state might stop blaming him for everything I’ve done.” Bucky glanced in the rearview mirror at a convertible that was working on going around us. “And it’ll get that T’Challa guy off Steve’s trail. He’s after me, not Steve.”

I swallowed the halfhearted protests I had. I knew he was right, but I still wanted to stay with Steve and Sam. Was that selfish?

“Now what?” I said, wiping my eyes.

“We hide.” Bucky replied grimly. “We live.”

 

We drove up north into Maine. Bucky was trying to get us out of the country, but he had to sort out fake passports first. I had the feeling that he knew something that I didn’t; he was acting more paranoid than he usually did. He started writing in notebooks, trying desperately to cling onto the memories that came back to him before they drifted away.

I had been tinkering with a little robot for a while now; it looked like a metal spider that was as big around as my palm with long needle like arms for climbing on things. It didn’t have any software in it of course, so it was just a model for now. I finished it in our motel room, bored because Bucky had disappeared for the night, and promptly fell asleep at the desk with the light still on.

When I woke up the little spider had gotten up off of the desk and had perched itself in the corner of the ceiling, swaying back and forth while Io stared intently at it.

I sat up and gaped at it. It was just metal, no hardware, just scrap metal, and it was moving. More than moving, it seemed like it was _alive_.

It climbed down from the ceiling and onto the desk right in front of me, bouncing up and down slightly. Io put her head on the desk, eyeing it warily.

“Did I make you?” I asked out loud. The spider tapped one of its feet on the desk.

Bucky came in the door then, opening his mouth to say something to me and noticing the spider. He whipped out a gun faster than I would have thought possible, but I stood up and put a hand out to stop him.

“It’s ok!” I said quickly. “It’s not a HYDRA bot or anything, I… think I made it.”

Bucky’s eyes moved from me to the spider and back again. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” I mused, looking back at it. “I’ve been tinkering with it for a while… I… don’t know how I made it like _that_ though.”

Io had climbed partially onto the desk and was sniffing the spider cautiously. The spider twitched and Io fell backwards and yapped and I shushed her.

“Io it’s okay.” I told her, holding my hand out to the spider. It climbed onto my hands like a trusting pet. I held it out to Io and she squinted at it. “It’s not a threat, okay?”

Io blinked and sat down, accepting the information and repeated “Not a threat.”

Bucky walked up next to me, eyes fixed on the spider too. “What are you gonna call it?”

I thought over this, staring down at the spider as it did its bouncy little dance in my hands. “How about… Oswin?”

Bucky shrugged. “I like it.”

“How about Oswin?” I asked the spider. Oswin jumped off of my hands onto the desk and did a sort of barrel roll.

 

I was in awe of Oswin for several days, wondering how the hell I had made it. Io made sense to me; I had slaved over her and at least _tried_ to create a functioning apparatus for her to work from. Was all of my success in robotics due to this dormant enhancement that I had never known about? The thought irritated me.

Oswin was much easier to hide than Io; if he tucked his legs in and sat still, he could easily fit in Bucky’s pocket.

Motivated by my sudden success with Oswin, I started working on what I hoped would eventually be armor like Tony Stark had. Not exactly like it, I wanted one with claws and teeth without flight so that I wouldn’t be so useless every time we got into a fight. At the very least I wanted it to stop me from getting shot.

Later that night, Bucky was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring into space, and I felt worry squirm in my stomach.

“Bucky?” I asked gingerly, sitting down slowly next to him. “Are you oka –”

“I killed Tony Stark’s parents.” He said dully and I blinked. “I crashed their car.”

I was quiet for a minute, taken aback. “Bucky you don’t know that, just because Stark accused you of that doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“It is true.” He said tonelessly. “I remember seeing their faces behind the windshield and I remember Maria Stark begging me not to finish Howard off. It was 1991.”

I didn’t know what to say and Bucky took out one of his notebooks and wrote his new memory down.

 

Bucky arranged to meet with a person that was going to sell us passports in a nearby mall, so we dressed as inconspicuously as possible and lingered around. I noticed Bucky’s backpack twitch as we walked inside and I patted it and told Oswin to relax.

I got some French fries from the food court and Bucky and I sat down at one of the tables. There weren’t many people in the mall; it was early and it was a weekday, so the only other people in the food court were a janitor, an older couple sitting next to the window, and a man talking to one of the employees.

Bucky’s eyes scanned the building behind me and I chewed a fry thoughtfully.

“Where are we gonna go next?” I asked quietly.

“Russia.” He replied. “It’ll be easy to hide there.”

“Hm.” I said, vaguely watching the man walking toward us. “You’ll have to teach me a little bit, unfortunately I took French in scho –”

I broke off when, without warning, the man that had been walking by us grabbed a chair and broke it over Bucky, sending him flying.

“SHIT!” I screamed, tipping over my chair and falling over.

Bucky picked up the man and threw him but he just ran back at him and kicked him in the stomach and landed a blow on his face.

Bucky’s eyes found me as he backhanded the man and wrestled with him.  

“STELLA RUN!” He bellowed and I scrambled to my feet, frozen for an instant. I couldn’t leave him! But I didn’t have a gun!

“GO!” Bucky yelled again as he brought his elbow into the man’s back and I flinched as the man threw Bucky into a wall. I remembered Io and kicked myself for not doing so sooner, and my feet finally moved to run outside to find her, but something tackled me from behind and knocked me down to the ground. Some agent, either HYDRA or SHIELD I couldn’t tell, was kneeling over me, his foot on one of my hands, pinning me down.

He flipped me onto my stomach and held my hands behind my back and I saw the older couple slowly fleeing from the fight as Bucky threw the other man over our table, sending my fries flying everywhere.

I inhaled deeply and whistled, desperately hoping that Io could hear me, and the agent attacking me squished me with their knee, cutting the whistle short. Io came tearing in, breaking through both sets of glass doors that led out of the mall and sprinting up to us. The man on top of me threw something at Io but it missed and Io slammed into him and his weight left me. I scrambled to my feet and ran up to Io, un-attaching the clawed gauntlets I had made from her side and slipping them on. Not an entire suit, but much better than nothing.

“Bite him!” I told Io and I ran to where Bucky and the man were clashing. I landed a blow on the man’s jaw, knocking him away from Bucky for a second.

“STELLA JUST GO!” Bucky roared at me and I heard something running up behind me and I shielded my face just in time to stop the other man from breaking my nose and Bucky backhanded him away from me.

“Don’t move!” The man demanded, pointing two guns at Bucky and I. We were both still, chests heaving, and the two boulder-like men stalked around us.

Bucky glared at me from the corner of his eye and I stared defiantly back at him.

“Eyes on me.” One of them ordered and my eyes flickered to him just in time to see Io leap at him and sink her teeth into his leg, making him drop the guns long enough for Bucky to bound up to him and throw him into wall and the other man roundhouse kicked Bucky in the face.

“GO **NOW**!” Bucky ordered me and panic gripped my stomach. He was right of course, he had demanded that I abandoned him and run as far away as I could if we ever got into a confrontation, but how could I just leave him?

The man that was being bitten all over by Io drove a dagger into her head that let out a surge of electricity, short circuiting her and making her crumple to the ground, twitching. The man’s cruel eyes found me and he stepped toward me but Bucky threw the other man into him and they both tumbled to the ground. It was now or never and this wasn’t a fight we were going to win.

“Stella if they catch us both we’ll never see each other again.” Bucky said quickly. “Go, _please_ , find Steve and –”

Yet another agent leapt on him and put him in a headlock with her legs and the other two angry and bruised men turned to me.

“Dammit.” I swore under my breath and turned and started running. Shots whizzed through the air at me as I sprinted up the escalator and right when I was about to get cover I felt something bite into my thigh and I crashed to the ground.

I swore loudly and saw a dart sticking out of my right thigh and I immediately yanked it out, but it was too late. I tried to stand up but I fell down, unable to keep myself upright. I felt like the floor was warping and my whole face stung like I had just been punched. I heard several different voices including Bucky yelling and more glass breaking and several more pairs of boots running across the mall floor. I crawled away from the escalator, into a hallway that I hoped led to an exit and I heard nails tapping on the floor and saw Io padding up to me, a smoking hole in the side of her head. I could hardly see and I knew I was going to pass out and whoever else that had shown up downstairs was going to catch me. Io nuzzled my face and I reached out to pat her, wishing that she didn’t have to go down with me.

Io looked up behind me and I suddenly felt very cold as my vision left me.

 

“What are we gonna tell her?” I heard a warped, high voice ask.

Through a thick haze I thought I heard people talking and I tried to remember what was going on. Where’s Bucky? That didn’t sound like Steve either.

“The truth.” Another voice answered nervously. “I’m mostly worried about how she’ll take it –”

“Look, she’s moving!” The first voice exclaimed, loudly, and I groaned.

I opened my eyes to see two familiar, worried faces above me. Both Isabel and Ghost were staring down at me.

I blinked and sat up, suddenly remembering what had happened. I had been shot with a dart full of something and Bucky had been captured.

“Stella please lay back down.” Isabel said gently. “You’ve been through a lot, please, take it easy.”

She gently pushed me back down to the pillows and I stared at her.

“Werzbucky?” I slurred, rubbing my right eye, and Isabel bit her lip and looked over at Ghost.

“Well…” Ghost began, avoiding my eyes. “HYDRA doesn’t have him, anymore, so… that’s good, right?”

I sat up again and Isabel huffed and stuffed some pillows behind me.

I was somehow back in Isabel’s apartment and I noticed Poppy and Io curled up in the corner, watching me. Never had such a familiar sight looked so surreal to me.

I moved to look at Ghost then Isabel then back to Ghost.

“What happened?” I asked, bewildered, realizing that I had a massive headache.

“Mary saved you from getting caught by the HYDRA, but she couldn’t save Bucky too.” Isabel explained gently. “She brought you back here and let you sleep off the stuff they shot you full of.”

I just stared at her. “Wait, who’s Mary?”

“She’s Mary.” Isabel replied, nodding to Ghost. “I think you two have already met.”

I gawked at Ghost. “You’re Isabel’s girlfriend?”

“Yep.” She replied simply.

“Oh… okay.” I said, realizing there was no point in disbelieving. “Wait did you say HYDRA has Bucky?”

“Well, we think he got away from them.” Isabel said, frowning. “But… a lot’s happened.”

I stared at her intently, waiting for her to go on.

Isabel seemed reluctant to go on, but she knew I wouldn’t just drop this. “Okay. Well. The first thing we’ve heard about on the news was Captain Rogers and some of the other Avengers stopping Rumlow from getting a biological weapon in Lagos, Nigeria, but in the process Wanda Maximoff set off a bomb that killed two dozen civilians that were helping the poor there. I don’t know what actually happened, but a lot of the media is blaming Miss Maximoff and Captain Rogers.”

I must have looked as angry as I felt, because Ghost cut me off and told me to let Isabel finish.

“The secretary of state saw this as an opportunity to push the ‘Sokovia Accords’ on the Avengers. They haven’t been released to the public, but they seem to be about the UN completely controlling the Avengers and everything that they do. Captain Rogers and Mr. Wilson rejected it outright but the others including Mr. Stark, Miss Romanoff, Colonel Rhodes, and Vision have signed it. The signing took place in Vienna where a bomb went off, killing the king of Wakanda and several others.”

I blinked, unsettled. I opened my mouth to speak again but apparently the pause Isabel gave was just for her to take a breath.

“And Bucky… was seen leaving the scene of the bombing and it’s assumed that he set it off.”

At this I did interrupt. “YOU ARE SHITTING ME BUCKY WOULDN’T DO THAT!” I bellowed loudly enough that Io leapt to her feet and Poppy screeched and darted out of the room.

“Raising your voice does nothing but knock spiders from the ceiling.” Ghost said, blinking rapidly.

“Stella, goodness!” Isabel said indignantly. “I’m just telling you what I saw on the news!”

I feverishly went over this new information in my head. “But I’ve only been asleep for like 5 hours!”

Isabel gave Ghost a nervous glance. “Stella you’ve been asleep for a week.”

I stared at her. “A – a week?”

“Yes.” Isabel said, gauging my reaction. “I think you were tranquilized, but it was a dose meant for Bucky, not for you. Frankly you’re lucky that your heart didn’t stop. I guess it’s good anyway; otherwise you’d be caught up in all of this mess.”

“Do you know where Steve – wait how did I get here?”

“Mary brought you here.” Isabel said, glancing at Ghost again. “She hid you from the HYDRA agents that originally had attacked Bucky and you and she brought you back here.”

I nodded, noticing how stiff I was. “Where is Steve now?”

“In London.” Ghost said, oddly soft. “For the funeral of Peggy Carter.”

 

6 hours after I had woken up in Isabel’s apartment I was on a plane headed for London, sitting next to Ghost who was fast asleep with her mouth hanging open. Ghost was apparently very wealthy, which I privately assumed was from stealing, but I didn’t bring that up to Isabel as she tearfully said goodbye to the both of us. Ghost had been seeing Isabel for several months now, apparently at first she was just protecting Isabel from HYDRA’s influence, but over time they had gotten to know each other well and started dating. Ghost also told me that Isabel was the only one allowed to call her ‘Mary’. I didn’t argue.

I was surprised that Ghost was coming with me, but Isabel explained that Ghost wished to pay her respects to Agent Carter. She didn’t explain why, but I was happy for the company none the less.  

I wasn’t sure what had happened to Oswin; I hoped he was with Bucky somehow and not lost, but there wasn’t any way to search for such a small creature. I was especially thankful for Ghost’s company when we got to airport security because I wouldn’t have been able to bring Io without her. Ghost, using her confusing array of powers that I didn’t understand yet, melted into a shadow and disappeared from the cabin of the plane before we took off, was gone approximately 15 minutes, and then materialized next to me, assuring me that Io was safely tucked away with the other pets in the cargo bay. I had an image of Ghost struggling to drag Io around by her hind legs, invisible to everyone else.

Just as soon as the plane left the ground I realized that I didn’t like flying, it was jarring and the roaring of the engines combined with occasional turbulence made me feel as if we were going to plummet out of the sky. Ghost took several sleeping pills and was unconscious immediately after we left the ground and didn’t stir until I prodded her awake seven and a half hours later.

I would have liked to look around London, it was a place I had always wanted to visit, but I had more important things to do than tour the city.

We had just missed Agent Carter’s actual funeral by a day, but Ghost and Isabel had found out what hotel Steve was staying in thanks to some teenager that had taken a picture of him outside of it with the caption “ _Look who I found outside the London City Hotel?? Looking to be Captain UK now, are we?_ ”. I didn’t like that someone had posted a picture of him online, especially since he was mourning, but there wasn’t anything to be done about it.

Ghost checked us into the hotel with more money that she inexplicably had, and convinced the woman at the front desk to tell us which room Steve was in. Ghost left the hotel, not wanting to be part of our ‘gross, weepy reunion’, but I figured she was likely going to where Agent Carter was buried, seeing how puffy-eyed she was.

I stood outside of the room Steve was supposedly in, hesitant to knock on the door. Did he even want to see me right now? I had no right to infringe upon his mourning. I had added to his worry by running away. I was a burden to him.

I wasn’t Bucky.

I stood there for longer than was normal, until I decided to go ahead and knock before someone called security on me for standing out in the hallway like a weirdo.

I tapped on the door and worried at my fingers. I heard footsteps and the door swung open a second later.

It was obvious that Steve had been crying, his face was flushed and his eyes were pink and swollen. My insecurities were instantly forgotten as he registered who I was; utter relief crossed his face like I was exactly who he wanted to see.

I felt my throat tighten and I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed him and he held me back.

“I heard about Peggy.” I said thickly. “I’m so _sorry_.”

His arms tightened around me and he took a shaky breath. “Me too.”

Steve let me into his room and shut the door. He sat down on the bed and I sat next to him; he didn’t seem to be able to stop the tears running down his face and I ran my fingers through his hair and tried to comfort him.

Steve worked on his breathing for several minutes, trying to calm himself down, and he eventually looked up at me.

“Did you hear about Bucky too?” Steve sighed, sitting up.

I nodded. “HYDRA has him. They made him do it.”

Steve nodded. “How did you get away from them?”

“I got tranquilized and Ghost hid me from them. She told me that Bucky got away from them, but obviously not if he blew up a building.” I said quietly.

Steve nodded again, staring down at the floor.

 “…I’m sorry that we left.” I mumbled. “Bucky thought it would keep you and Sam safe and I didn’t want to let him leave by himself.”

“I understand.” Steve replied, wiping his face. “I knew it was only a matter of time before he left again. I was just glad you were with him.”

I shrugged. “I couldn’t protect him from HYDRA, though.”

Steve gave me a small, sad smile. “Neither could I.”

I wiped at my face and stood up, took an unsteady step, and fell down. Steve caught me and sat me back down on the bed, leaning over me in worry.

“Looks like whatever they tranquilized you with hasn’t worn off.” Steve said, frowning. “Where did they hit you with it?”

I pulled up my skirt a little bit to show him where there was a dark red dot on my thigh surrounded by a green and yellow bruise.

“I think I know what this is.” Steve mused, rubbing his thumb on the dot. “And if they shot you full of enough to take Bucky down it’s no wonder you were under for a week.”

I shrugged, starting to feel dizzy. Steve was watching me with concern.

“Maybe you should stay here for the night,” Steve mused. “I don’t want you to fall and hit your head or anything.”

I nodded and rubbed my eyes. Steve tried to get me to sleep in his bed, but I refused and curled up on the couch and was out cold not long after.

Steve woke me up several times during the night to check on me and I noticed that he had moved me to his bed, but I was too groggy to argue with him.

Steve woke me up for good early in the morning and told me that we needed to meet up with Sam and Agent 13.

It was raining heavily, just like in every movie I had ever seen that took place in London, and Steve used his jacket to try and shield me from the rain as we scurried to our meeting place.

Sam was already in the restaurant, sitting at the bar and drinking some orange juice and he nodded at us as we walked in.

“Glad to see you’re in one piece.” Sam said to me as I sat down next to him. “Hungry?”

“Starving.” I told him and ordered exactly what any other American would order; loads of bacon, toast, and eggs.

Agent 13 didn’t show up for about half an hour in which I coaxed Steve into eating a bit of toast and we watched the coverage of the Vienna bombing and the update on where Bucky was on the news. I was relieved to find that they had no concrete leads. Steve talked on the phone with Agent Romanoff, who told Steve to keep out of this, but Steve told her that he couldn’t. I was sorely sorry that she wasn’t on our side.

Agent 13 was tall, blonde, and beautiful and I couldn’t help staring at her as she discreetly walked up to stand by Steve without looking at him.

“We’ve had numerous calls; everyone seems to think the Winter Solider goes to their gym.” She said out of the corner of her mouth, looking down at me and smiling. I felt myself turn bright red and I was suddenly very aware of the butter smeared on the side of my mouth.

“Most of it’s noise.” She continued, sliding Steve a light brown folder. “Except for this.”

Steve swiped it off of the counter, seeming to be looking at the tv. “My boss expects a briefing pretty much now, so that’s all the head start you’re going to get.” She said, lowering her voice further. “They’ve also given us the order to shoot on sight.”

“Thank you, Sharon.” Steve said quietly and she nodded, turning around and sweeping out of the café.

We didn’t talk to each other until we were well away from the café.

“What’s it say?” I asked urgently, having to take quick strides to keep up with Steve and Sam.

“Bucharest, Romania.” Steve replied. “It’s about four hours by plane.”

I nodded, feeling my breakfast wriggle around in my stomach.

“God knows what HYDRA did to him, he might not recognize any of us.” Sam said, glancing behind us.

“I’ll go in after him, you guys can help me keep watch.” Steve said quickly.

“Can I come too?” A new voice chimed in, making Sam and Steve both jump.

Ghost was suddenly keeping stride between Sam and I.

They both moved like they were going to attack, but I put my hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, she’s fine.” I told him and turned to look at Ghost. “I thought you would have headed back to Isabel’s by now?”

Ghost shrugged, her pale eyes flickering to one of the shop windows we passed. “I doubt Isabel would let me into her apartment if I left knowing that you still needed my help.”

Steve gave her a distrustful glance and she made a face at him.

“How do you plan on getting that big metal dog on a plane without me?” She asked cooly. “I have assets that are both valuable and needed.”

“She’s right.” I added. “We can use all the help we can get.”

Steve was reluctant, but he told me that if I trusted her that was enough for him, which, strangely enough, made me almost cry. We booked a flight to Bucharest and had to wait in the airport for several long hours in which I kept falling asleep on Steve’s shoulder and Ghost showed Sam a lot of videos of cats.

Ghost followed the same routine as the last plane trip; she stowed Io in the cargo hold and promptly fell asleep. We were all four in one row and I tried to get myself interested in a book I had borrowed from Isabel, but I was so distracted that I found myself reading the same sentence for several minutes at a time. I kept chewing on my fingers and Steve kept gently taking my hand and putting it back into my lap.

Somehow the four hours to Bucharest seemed to take just as long as the seven hours to London and when we finally got off and headed to where Bucky was supposedly staying, I felt extremely uneasy. Who knew what state he was in now…

Sam and Ghost were going to keep watch while Steve and I went in after him. Io followed the two of us up the stairs and I felt my heart thudding uncomfortably in my chest.

“If something goes wrong I want you to go with Ghost, okay?” Steve murmured as we ascended the fourth flight of stairs. “If he attacks us because he doesn’t recognize us or the GSG9 burst in, you need to get out, okay?”

“If I say ‘okay’ that’ll make me a liar.” I replied and he smirked slightly.

The apartment Bucky was staying in was rundown, even more so than a lot of the cheap motels we had stayed in. Yellow, moth-eaten curtains covered the dusty windows and the walls were spotted with water stains. Steve walked silently across the room to the tiny kitchen, picking up a book from the top of the fridge and examining it.

I walked up next to Steve and glanced into the notebook. There was a flier for the museum exhibit of Steve and a lot of scribbles, some in Russian, some in English that said, things like ‘This is Steve, he won’t hurt me’ and ‘Steve мой друг’ and ‘motorcycle?’.

“He’s been writing in notebooks a lot lately.” I commented, looking down at Io as she stared at the door. “It helps him hang onto things –”

I glanced up to see what Io was staring at and my heart leapt into my throat.

Bucky was standing there, looking healthy, albeit confused.

“Bucky.” I breathed and moved to run up and hug him, but Steve put his arm out to catch me.

“You know us?” Steve asked clearly.

Bucky frowned. “Yeah, of course.”

“GSG9 is heading toward the building.” I heard Sam say through my ear piece.

“How did you get away from HYDRA?” Steve asked.

“I had help.” Bucky said, smirking slightly, and Oswin wiggled out of his jacket pocket and scampered up to sit on his shoulder.

I grinned and looked up at Steve. He didn’t look down at me, his eyes were fixed sternly on Bucky.

“People think you set off a bomb in Vienna.” Steve said.

“Thirty seconds, Cap.” Sam warned.

“You know I didn’t.” Bucky sighed tiredly.

“I believe you Buck, but the people that think you did are coming and they’re not planning on taking you alive.”

Bucky nodded, his eyes drifting to the ceiling and I realized that I was digging my nails into the arm of Steve’s suit.

“That’s smart.” Bucky rumbled. “Good plan.”

“They’re on the roof, we’re compromised.” Sam said and all three of us looked up as we heard footsteps on the roof and plaster flaked down from the ceiling.

I knew the drill; bullets were going to fill the air in a minute, so Ghost appeared next to me, grabbed my wrist just as I called out in protest, and I had the familiar feeling of a bitter cold sweeping over me and my vision spun away from me. I just managed to stay upright as my feet collided, hard, with the pavement.

I heard an explosion and a close gunshot and Ghost shoved me to the ground and I heard a choking noise as Ghost grabbed the GSG9 agent that had shot at me by the throat and they both disappeared.

I pushed myself up, hearing gunshots and fighting from inside of the building above me. I spun around, needing to help somehow but now knowing how to.

I got into the car that we had driven here and saw Bucky leap from the building and for a heart stopping second I thought he would miss the roof he was aiming for, but he hit it and disappeared from my sight.

I sped around the building, hoping to see what was going on and a helicopter zoomed overhead, spraying bullets onto the rooftop.

Ghost appeared in the backseat and I whipped around to look at her. She was clutching her shoulder and crimson blood stained her hand.

“I’m hurt.” She said matter-of-factly. “I have to go; you’re on your own now.”

I nodded and she disappeared. I saw Bucky leap down from the building with T’Challa on his heels and I stomped on the gas and sped after them.

They jumped down to a road below the ground and I swore loudly, stomping on the gas and frantically searching for a way down.

I cut off several cars as I sped down into the tunnel and I saw Bucky sprinting up ahead, followed closely by Steve and Io as they ran after him.

A police car sped by me and I heard whoever was inside of it demand Steve to stand down. I slammed my car into the side of it and it crunched against the wall of the tunnel and fell behind me.

“Steve in here!” I shouted, pulling up next to him.

Without pausing, he threw the passenger door open, grabbed Io off of the ground, and leapt in.

I weaved around cars and I heard something hit our car and I saw T’Challa clinging onto the back of the van, the fluorescent tunnel lights gleaming off of his suit dangerously. 

“Shit.” I swore, swerving in an attempt to shake him off. Io was barking at him from the backseat, which really, wasn’t helping.

“Sam, we can’t shake this guy.” Steve said into his earpiece, his eyes fixed on Bucky.

“Gotcha, headed your way.” He replied.

Suddenly there was a wall of cars ahead of us and I saw Bucky throwing his arms in a circle as he attempted to stop and I let out a scream. Bucky somehow managed to turn at the last second and jumped over a barrier into the other side of the road.

I swerved between two poles to follow.

“I’m sorry I screamed.” I said loudly, briefly glancing at Steve who had leaned over to yank the steering wheel away from me if he needed to.

Ahead of us, Bucky had stopped and was reaching toward a man on a motorcycle and somehow managed to snatch it out from under him, swing it around in the air, straddle it, and speed off away from us.

My jaw dropped and I glanced at Steve to see that he was blushing.  

We sped into another tunnel and I heard T’Challa crawling up the van and he threw himself ahead of us, but Bucky was ready and he grabbed him by the throat. He scraped T’Challa on the side of the tunnel, nearly overturning his bike as he did, and he dropped T’Challa and I had to swerve to avoid running him over.

My stomach twisted and I saw Sam flying behind us and T’Challa leap on him. I was distracted, worrying about Sam, and I heard Steve shout “Stella!”.

My eyes darted back to the road to see rock falling from the ceiling and Steve grabbed me as the tunnel collapsed on the car. Steve grabbed me and leapt out of the door as the car flipped over, sprinting through the falling rubble and hugging me to his chest and protecting me with his shield. I heard Io yelp and heard glass shatter and metal crunch as the car flipped over three or four times behind us, but my eyes were on T’Challa as he flung over us and tackled Bucky off of his motor cycle.

Steve put me down without stopping and sprinted toward T’Challa and just managed to tackle him away from Bucky before he sunk the claws protruding from his fingertips into Bucky’s throat.

I skid to a halt next to Bucky and pulled on his arm. I vaguely noticed that T’Challa’s claws had left gouges in Steve’s shield.

“C’mon.” I grunted. “Time to go.”

It was too late. GSG9 agents converged on us from all sides and Tony’s ally James Rhodes in full Stark armor dropped down next to us.

“Stand down.” Rhodes demanded, pointing one of his guns at us.

Steve touched Bucky’s arm to warn him to comply. Io tried to sprint away but Rhodes shot her with electricity and she fell over and started twitching and I clamped a hand over my mouth.

T’Challa took his helmet off and I couldn’t help noticing how handsome he was.

Rhodes nodded to T’Challa but he wasn’t looking at him. His dark eyes were focused on Bucky as he was wrestled to the ground by the GSG9 agents.

They shoved me to the ground too and my chin scraped the pavement.

“Ow.” I mumbled indignantly but I wasn’t being paid attention to.

Bucky was thrown into a huge steel truck and I caught Steve’s eye before I was thrown into a different one. His expression didn’t comfort me at all.

My arms were clamped into a steel contraption that covered my arms up to my elbows and secured them so that I was hugging my stomach. I couldn’t stop looking at the guards and their fingers that were ready to squeeze the triggers of their AK 47s. None of them would meet my eyes and I felt like I was going to pass out or throw up or maybe both.

I seemed to be taking in way too much detail as they hauled me into a large concrete building; the sweat beading on my guards foreheads, a stray leaf on the pavement, a stray bit of animal hair that had found its way onto my shirt. What I wouldn’t do to be back in Isabel’s apartment with Bucky sitting next to me and Poppy purring in my lap.

I was steered through a large room with a small glass cube in the middle, which I was startled to see held Bucky inside of it, firmly secured to the chair with an unnecessary amount of bindings. He saw me and held my eyes for a moment, regret pulling on his face, before I was led out of the large room into a corridor.

“What’s going to happen to him?” I asked one of the guards. He didn’t even look at me.

I was led to a concrete cell and pushed inside and the heavy metal door was slammed shut behind me. I glanced at the door and saw a small black camera on the wall. They hadn’t taken the shackles off of me.

I sat down against the cell wall, determined not to look at the camera. I was going to be here for a while.

I tried to focus my power, trying to get a sense of something I could bend to my will, but there was nothing. I wondered what they had done with Io and what they were doing right now to Bucky.

I wished they had taken the shackles off so that I could chew on my fingers.

After what felt like an hour or two of dead silence, the power abruptly shut off and I was plunged into complete darkness for a few seconds before dim back-up lights flickered on.

I sat up and stared at the cell door, worried that a guard was going to come in here and haul me somewhere else without Bucky.

Silence for a minute, and then scuttling, like a crab was running down the hallway and I heard something scratch the door.

The door swung open and for a second I didn’t think anyone was there until I saw Oswin, dangling off of the door handle and I let out the breath I had been holding. Io peered around the door and snorted.

“Get me out of these!” I hissed and Io darted inside with Oswin riding on her head.

Oswin stuck his little needle like arms into the lock of the shackles and wiggled them around, but that didn’t seem to do much. Io ended up gnawing through them enough that I could wriggle out.

“Did you let Io out, you clever little thing?” I cooed to Oswin as I held him up to my face. He trembled excitedly.

“Bucky.” Io said simply and my blood turned to ice.

“Where is he?” I asked her, getting the clawed gauntlets off of her side. “Lead me to him.”

We sprinted down the hallways, suspiciously not meeting anyone. The elevator was down but thankfully Io only led me down one flight of stairs.

I saw several unconscious men in the concrete hallway and I forced myself to run faster. It was HYDRA, it had to be, and they were here for Bucky.

I threw myself around a corner and ran full speed past Steve and Sam who had stopped to check on the unconscious men.

I skid to a halt and Oswin flew off of my shoulder and rolled down the hallway.

Steve and Sam both looked at me in confusion but they said nothing as I jerked my head for them to follow.

Bucky had an entire room devoted to monitoring him and even more unconscious men littered the floor here. Oswin scampered up my leg and buried himself in my sweatshirt pocket and Io was growling loudly at someone laying inside of Bucky’s cell.

I seized Steve’s arm, terror that HYDRA had already killed Bucky hitting me like a blow to the stomach, but I heard the body on the floor speak.

“Help me…” it said hoarsely, in a voice that definitely didn’t belong to Bucky. Steve marched in and grabbed the man off of the ground and slammed him against the wall.

“Where is he?” Steve demanded in a voice that I was glad he had never used with me.

“I don’t know – he attacked me and –” The man stammered and was cut off when Steve shook him violently.

“ _What do you want_?” He repeated venomously.

The man chuckled weakly. “…To see an empire fall.” He hissed.

Sam stepped into cell, looking at the small glass and steel cage that had held Bucky before. It didn’t really look like anyone had broken _into_ it… the glass was shattered in a way that suggested that Bucky burst out from the inside.

I heard a hard thwack and Sam was thrown against the cage and someone lunged at Steve from the corner of the room, making him drop the man he was holding.

I was shocked to see that it was Bucky that had kicked Steve out of the room, stalking after him with a long knife gleaming in his hand. I could hear the knife cut through the air as he attempted to slash Steve with it, forcing Steve to retreat back through the room.

I saw the man Steve had grabbed peering out of the cell malevolently, Sam unconscious on the floor behind him.

“Io help Steve.” I shouted over the sounds of Bucky and Steve clashing. I could hear Winter’s arm whining in exertion and I was horrified to see that he was doing his best to drive his knife straight through Steve’s chest.

I whipped back to glare at the man as he watched them hungrily.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?” I demanded, stalking up to him and grabbing him by the throat.

I heard Io scream and I turned back to see that Bucky had ripped Io’s head off and crushed it. Somehow I could sense that it had killed her; that the life I had painstakingly poured into her was gone, and she fell heavily to the floor.

I screamed too which was a mistake; it alerted Bucky that I was there and that I was choking the man and he turned on me. I realized Bucky wasn’t there anymore; his eyes were blank and glassy and rage contorted his face as he stalked up to me. I forced the man in front of me but he just tossed him aside, glowering down at me like a tiger that had just had its tail pulled.

“Kill her and escape.” The man said, winded, as he rubbed his throat. “NOW!”

The man ran off and I just stared at Bucky. His muscles were twitching and he reached up like he was going to grab my throat.

“Bucky…” I said softly, tears pricking my eyes.

His fingers paused, inches away from my throat, and doubt passed through Bucky’s face.

“Оставьте ее , возьмите вертолет на крыше , идти !” The man shouted from behind and Bucky held eye contact with me for a second longer before he turned around and stalked out of the room. I realized that Steve was nowhere to be found.

Sam was stirring behind me and I shook myself and turned to kneel next to him and shake his shoulder.

“Sam, hey, you okay?” I hissed. “Sam wake up!”

He opened his eyes and sat up, shaking his head.

“What the hell?” He mumbled, dazed.

“That guy, he did something to Bucky.” I explained shortly. “Bucky tore Io apart… she…”

Sam looked behind me and shouted “HEY!” and I whipped around to see that stupid man peering down the elevator shaft but he took off at Sam’s shouting.

“I’m going after that guy, you gotta get out of here.” Sam said, pushing himself to his feet and running after the man.

I just sat there for a minute, stunned, as I stared at Io’s crumpled body. She had been ripped in half before sure… But I could tell that she was gone now, and whatever I had done to give her life wasn’t there anymore. Oswin crawled out from under a nearby desk and scuttled up to Io, poking her as if he could wake her up…

Rage coursed through me, but all I could do for now was hope that Sam caught up to him. I had to subdue Bucky.

I got to my feet and scooped up Oswin and started up the stairs.

Bucky was on the ground floor, breaking and throwing anyone that was unfortunate enough to try and stop him. He was fighting Tony Stark when I peered out of the stairwell and I clamped my hand over my mouth when he put his gun up to Tony’s forehead and pulled the trigger. Luckily for Tony, he had a small piece of his armor on his hand so it didn’t go through that, but the terror in Tony’s face was enough to make my stomach turn. Tony managed to get the clip out of Bucky’s gun and swiped him across the face with it, but he just kicked Tony out of his way and sent him flying into a wall. Oswin tried to leap off of my shoulder and scurry over to Bucky, but I caught him and held him to my chest.

Agent 13 leapt on him, moving so quickly that I could hardly see her, landing blows on Bucky and attempting to slow him down, but that wasn’t enough and he picked her up and broke a table with her and she stayed on her back, completely winded.

Agent Romanoff attacked him next, putting him in a headlock and trying to break his arms as he tried to pull her off of him and he slammed her onto another table and wrapped his metal fingers around her throat. I had to do something.

I tackled him full force, which did little but make him let go of Agent Romanoff and get his attention on me, while it made my vision swim for an instant.

“Enough!” I demanded, standing in between Bucky and Agent Romanoff, who was coughing loudly.

Bucky stared at me, seeming to be at war with himself, recognition passed through his face but his body still twitched like he wanted to break me.

“My name is Stella Martin…” I said slowly and clearly, unable to think of anything else. “Do you know where you are?”

Bucky frowned at me, but his fists unclenched. “I… don’t…”

It looked like I was going to be able to talk him down from the control he had been under until T’Challa came out of nowhere and socked Bucky straight in the jaw and picked him up and threw him several feet away.

I stumbled backward and bumped into Agent Romanoff as Bucky and T’Challa clashed.

“Oh, goddammit.” I mumbled under my breath, running after Bucky as he kicked T’Challa away and started up a flight of stairs.

“WINTER!” I shouted after Bucky, but as he turned to look at me T’Challa landed on him from where he had climbed up the side of the stairs and put him into a hold where it looked like he was trying to break Bucky’s metal arm.

All that did was piss Bucky off and I could hear his arm whining as he tried to get out of T’Challa’s hold but it seemed like they were an equal match. T’Challa seemed to realize this too and he stopped trying to break Bucky’s arm and sent them both tumbling down the stairs.

I huffed in exasperation and decided not to go down back the stairs again and I saw T’Challa chuck Bucky over the railing of the stairs and I saw him fall two stories, roll to his feet, and sprint to the stairwell I had originally come out of. T’Challa didn’t seem to see him and I darted up the rest of the stairs I was standing on, across an empty loft area full of café tables, and into another stairwell.

I was out of breath by the time I got up the stairs but I had caught up with Bucky.

Bucky had climbed into a helicopter and was just lifting off the ground and I saw Steve sprint across the landing pad and jump onto the helicopter railing, throwing it off and slowing it down.

Even with Steve’s extra weight, the helicopter just dragged Steve across the landing pad, only stopping with a jolt once Steve latched onto a bar that held a safety net.

I gawked in amazement as Steve, using just his biceps, was managing to keep the helicopter from taking off.

I shouted encouragingly, running across the landing pad. There was no way in hell Bucky was getting away now.

Bucky seemed to realize this just as I did and he suddenly veered the helicopter straight into the landing pad toward Steve. I screamed hoarsely as I saw a helicopter blade cutting through the air straight toward him, reaching out to him and squeezing my eyes shut in fear.

I heard glass break and the metal thwumps as the blades broke on the concrete. I dared to open my eyes to see Steve crouched on the ground under a hunk of metal wrapped in wires that had erupted out of the ground to shield him. I noticed that one had protected me from the blades too.

Steve glanced at me to make sure that I was alright and pushed himself up to run and see if Bucky was okay.

“Bucky!” Steve called, peering into the helicopter. “BU –”

Bucky’s metal arm smashed through the window and seized Steve by the throat.

I grabbed his arm, trying to get him to let go of Steve. I heard the metal screech against the landing pad and I realized that the helicopter was going to fall from the building.

“WINTER, NO!” I shouted, pulling on his arm. “THE HELICOPTER’S SLIPPING –!”

Part of the concrete crumbled away and Steve grabbed Bucky’s arm and held me to him with his other arm and the helicopter fell, dragging us three stories down into the canal down below.

The water stung as I fell into it and I opened my eyes to see Steve breaking the window of the helicopter and pulling Bucky out, who was unconscious.

Steve started swimming away with Bucky and he motioned for me to follow him. I realized that I was clutching Oswin in my fist and he was feebly waving his arms around, trying to swim.

We emerged away from the building, me sputtering and coughing and Steve emerging silently and gracefully, and we paddled away from the building as fast as we could.

We couldn’t go far as sirens rang out from the building and helicopters took to the air and Sam sighed as he saw Steve hauling Bucky out of the water and throwing him over his shoulder. He wiped the distrusting frown off of his face as he caught the expression on my face and I sniffled and wiped at my eyes with my sleeve, smearing more canal water onto my cheeks.

We took shelter in an abandoned factory nearby and found a piece of a conveyer belt to wedge Bucky’s arm into while he was unconscious. I didn’t want to do that, but I understood why it was necessary.

I sat against the wall and put my head on my knees.

“I tried to keep up with that psychiatrist dude that we found in Bucky’s cell, but he lost me in the chaos outside.” Sam said quietly.

I felt Oswin struggling against my fingers and I let go of him and he scurried up to bury himself in my pocket.

“You okay?” Steve said quietly, sinking down to sit next to me. “You cold?”

I sniffled and shrugged.

Steve rubbed my shoulder and I sniffled again and sat up. “We have him now, he’ll be okay.”

I gave him a weak smile and very nearly believed him.

“He’s waking up.” Sam said and Steve and I both jerked our heads up.

I was the first on my feet and I tried to run up to Bucky, but Sam and Steve both grabbed one of my arms.

“We don’t know if he’s okay yet.” Sam said, watching Bucky as he stirred.

Oswin hopped out of my pocket and scuttled over to Bucky and crawled up the machine to sit by Bucky’s head.

Bucky shook himself and looked up at us, trying to get up but falling back down when he realized that he was trapped.

“S-Steve?” Bucky asked hoarsely, jerking his head up.

“Which Bucky am I talking to?” Steve said carefully.

Bucky blinked up at Steve. “Your mom’s name was Sarah. She used to make meatloaf every Tuesday night and she always saved me some even if I wasn’t there.”

Steve blinked and his face broke into a relived, brittle smile.

“Who’s mom didn’t make meatloaf once a week, just like that we’re supposed to be cool?” Sam said quietly and Bucky glanced up at Sam.

“I broke your sunglasses a while back. Those big orangeish ones. I sat on em.” Bucky said, a small grin on his face.

Sam pursed his lips and glanced between Steve and Bucky. “Aight, we’re definitely leaving him here.”

Bucky smirked and Steve chuckled.

The weak smirk fell from Bucky’s face.

“What did I do?” Bucky asked quietly.

Steve’s face hardened. “Well you… broke out and –”

Bucky sighed and closed his eyes. “Fuck, I _knew_ this would happen, all he had to do was say the goddamn words and I was gone.”

“How is that possible?” Sam asked.

“There’s a word that will stop his heart for a short time.” I said quietly and they all three looked at me. “Chambers admitted to me that he and some other scientist bastard made that happen, it’s not that much of a stretch to be able to control him.”

“Was that Chambers that was in the room with Bucky?” Steve asked me. I shook my head.

“I don’t know who it was.” Bucky said.

I glanced at Steve, deciding it was time to get Bucky’s arm out of the conveyer belt, and I walked up to the machine and flipped a switch and it creaked and spit his arm out.

“That’s a hell of a lot better than electrocuting yourself to turn it off.” Bucky mumbled to me as I sat down next to him.

“That was one time.” I murmured back, wiping the blood off of his face with a cloth I had found.

“Buck whoever that was knocked the power out in half of Berlin and infiltrated the UN just to get ten minutes with you, I’m gonna need you to do better than ‘I don’t know’.” Steve said forcefully.

Bucky licked some of the blood off of his bottom lip. “He kept asking me about… a specific date, uh, December 16, 1991.”

My blood turned to ice.

“What happened on that day, Buck?” Steve pressed.

Bucky swallowed and his eyes darted to me out of the corner of his eye. “I was sent on a mission. Sanction and extract. No witnesses. Someone was transporting a super serum, like the one used on you, and I was sent to get it and kill the people moving it.

“I got the serum and took it to Siberia. It didn’t work as well as it did on you; it ruined the minds of the subjects they used it on. They screamed a lot when they were injected with it and they screamed even more when they were conditioned with the safe words. But it did what it was supposed to; it made them stronger, smarter, and faster than they had even dared hope. They used me to help train them.

“They were pushing the subjects too fast though; it took years to get me to the point where I would kill for them but they were trying to control the other subjects with only a few months of manipulating. The others turned on the doctors and the captors, killing most of them except one of the officers I got out. They were subdued and placed into cryo until HYDRA could figure out a safer way to control them. HYDRA’s efforts were focused onto me and the other subjects were forgotten. Until now.”

Steve and Sam exchanged dark glances. “And that psychiatrist can control them?”

“Enough,” Bucky said gravely. “The others speak 20 languages, they’re masters of disguise, they could sneak into any country and topple it overnight, no one would see them coming.”

Sam ran a hand over his head and wandered to the door. Steve nodded and pursed his lips thoughtfully. He went over to Sam and they started talking in low voices.

“You should tell Steve about… you know.” I said, barely above a whisper as I stared at a cut on his forehead.

“I will.” Bucky replied, just as quietly. Oswin crawled down from the machine and Bucky smiled at him and watched him dangle from his metal hand. “Where’s Io?”

My stomach twisted. “Wh… when you were under that mind control or… whatever it was… Io was trying to drag you around and…”

Bucky blinked. “You can fix her, right?”

I blinked and shook my head, refusing to cry and make Bucky feel worse. “No… whatever I did to make her alive is gone now.”

“ _Fuck_.” Bucky mumbled, looking suddenly ill.

“It wasn’t your fault, I know that.” I said quickly. “She was a robot, she couldn’t feel –”

“You don’t know that.” Bucky interrupted. “We don’t know how this works, maybe she could.”

“You weren’t in control of what you were doing.” I said firmly. “ _You_ didn’t hurt Io, that crazy doctor guy did.”

Bucky put a hand on his forehead. “…I don’t deserve to be in this world.” He said thickly. “I don’t deserve you or Steve or –”

“Bucky.” Steve said firmly, kneeling down next to me and reaching out to touch Bucky’s face. “Listen to me.”

Bucky looked sicker still, but he looked up at Steve.

“I love you.” Steve said and Bucky blinked. “Nothing HYDRA has ever used you to do will change that and I will rip this doctor guy apart with my bare hands if I have to to protect you.”

Bucky stared at Steve in disbelief and I suddenly felt like I was intruding on something private. Bucky closed his eyes and put one of his hands over Steve’s.

“I don’t want you to feel like you don’t belong in the world because I and so many other people failed you.” Steve went on tightly.

Bucky nodded and gripped Steve’s hand tighter.

I swallowed and stared down at the ground, wishing I would have gotten up and went to talk to Sam.

Steve looked up at me and smiled and my anxiety shriveled up like dew in the warm afternoon sun.

“What are we going to do now?” I asked quietly.

“Stark wouldn’t believe us even if we did try to talk to him.” Steve mused. “It may end up that we’ll have to fight him.”

“Just us four?” I asked faintly.

“Not just us.” Sam said from the door, leaning against the frame. “I think I might know a guy.”

“They have Wanda locked up in the compound, but I think we’ll be able to get her out.” Steve said, standing up. “I’d hate to ask Clint to come out of retirement, but we might have to.”

“Any chance Ghost will come back around?” Sam asked me.

I shrugged. “She got shot by one of those GSG9 guys, so I don’t think so.”

“I think she’s ok.” I said quickly in response to the expression on Steve’s face. “She seems to be able to take care of herself, but she’s probably going back to Isabel’s now.”

“Well, first we’re going to have to get our stuff back.” Sam said. “If only we had someone working with the UN that would help us out.”

Steve gave Sam a small smile. “I’ll ask Sharon, I hate to since she’s done enough, but we don’t have another choice.”

“I’ll send Redwing to Clint’s house.” Sam said.

“Tell him to get Wanda; if anyone can convince her to get out of there he can.” Steve replied.

“Remember that Antman guy? Scott Lang? He might be willing to help us out.”

“Tell Clint to go get him too.”

“What’s Redwing?” I asked.

Sam smiled. “I haven’t had him for very long; he’s a drone sort of. I’ll introduce you to him once we get our stuff back from the UN.”

Bucky got to his feet and helped me up. “We should get going, we don’t have a lot of time.”


End file.
